#It's for a game and since you all know I decided to join marching band for a friend well yeah

[qstarhalo]

I have to stay in this building for 12 hours tomorrow.................

[fishcat480]

Go Timberwolves!

Fandom: The Vampire Diaries

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x Plus size! cheerleader!reader

Description: You're a cheerleader and Elijah is in the stands. Your friend Jessica notices him first.

Warnings: none

____________________________________________________________

“Who is that?”

Jessica was looking over at the stands and toward a group of guys, all sitting next to each other. They looked hilariously out of place, all seemingly dressed for different events. The one with reddish hair and kiss-me lips was wearing a velvet jacket over a v-neck, three necklaces dangling over his heart. You’d seen him hanging around before, and recognized him as Rebekah’s brother Klaus. How many times had he been watching Caroline from the sidelines during a game or desperately offering to walk her to her car? Doubtful that Jessica didn’t know who that was, or that he was clearly obsessed with everyone’s favorite blonde.

Then there was the youngest of the three. He was dressed pretty normally for a high school football game in a t-shirt and jeans. He spoke animatedly to Klaus, who looked about as thrilled to listen as he would have been to get struck by lightning. His name was escaping your memory, but it was another K name, you were sure of it. Kyle! No…Kal?

All thoughts of K names were stripped from your thoughts the second your eyes landed on Jessica’s mystery man. 

His hair was dark, and his eyes were darker. His features were angular, practically Grecian. He was wearing a suit, which was ridiculous because who wore a suit in Mystic Falls unless they were a realtor or attending a Lockwood party? Somehow, though, he pulled it off so perfectly that there was no question that he should be wearing it. 

Never had you been so struck by a stranger. His eyes scanned over the crowd, and across the field, before landing squarely on you.

You blushed and turned away, heart thundering in your chest.

Elena and Bonnie had followed Jessica’s gaze too, and gave each other knowing looks. You were friendly with Elena but not close. You and Bonnie had been good friends since middle school, though, so you felt no shame sidling up to her and joining her conversation.

“Info on Jessica’s mystery man?” you asked, spreading your legs as you sat next to Bonnie, beginning to stretch. She laughed and gave you a stern look. “He’s Klaus’ older brother. No mystery.”

You bent forward, stretching out your back and Bonnie followed suit. “Off limits?” you ask, trying to seem curious but not invested. 

“Yes.” she said quickly. Elena smacked Bonnie’s thigh. 

“Elijah is not off limits.” she said. “He’s actually the only one out of the three of them I’d say is pretty on…limits…”

Elijah....you tried the name out in your head. Yes, you decided, that was a good name.

You all giggled. “I mean, Klaus is just too in love with Caroline.” you shrugged. “I wouldn’t dream of going anywhere near him.” 

You sat up and bent your neck to the side, eyeing the rest of the cheerleaders. “Hey, where is Caroline?”

“Tyler drama.” Bonnie said conspiratorially. She sat upright, finished with her stretching. “He’s leaving again.”

“Shit.” you said, finishing up yourself. “I don’t really know what she sees in him anyway. He’s always been kind of an asshole. And Klaus seems to really like her.”

“Well Klaus needs to earn her.” Elena said hastily, turning away slightly. You weren’t sure what that was supposed to mean, but if Bonnie’s similarly agitated face was any indication, there was something going on that you weren’t in on. It wasn’t really any of your business anyway, you conceded, so you didn’t harp on it. Boy drama was so not your thing.

There was a fanfare suddenly, as the marching band began playing the introduction music for the Timberwolves. Rebekah stood and called you and the other cheerleaders into formation. 

Once the players began coming out, you’d go right into the classic Timberwolves fighting cheer. 

Just as the first player was making his entrance, a blonde head appeared next to you, startling you. It was as if she'd appeared out of thin air.

“Caroline!” you said, throwing a hand on your chest. “You scared the shit out of me.”

She smiled nervously. “Did I?”

You just laughed and joined the rest of the girls in the Timberwolves fighting chant, shaking your pom-poms and kicking your legs up. 

The game didn’t start out super well for the Timberwolves, so you didn’t have a ton to do for awhile. You spoke to Caroline briefly about Tyler, but she didn’t want to say much, and she seemed genuinely upset about something. You weren’t close enough with her to give her emotional support, so you instead distracted her with a quick game of fuck, marry, kill between the three handsome Mikaelson boys. 

“Kill Kol, Marry Klaus, Fuck Elijah.” Caroline said confidently. Kol! That was his name.

She was speaking a bit loudly, like she wanted someone to hear her. Probably Jessica. 

You glanced up at the stands and noticed Klaus and Kol with their heads bent together. Elijah looked completely nonplussed. 

“What about you?” she asked. 

You glanced up at the brothers again. Elijah was looking in your direction now, almost as if he was listening to your conversation. He was probably just looking at the cheerleaders. He definitely wasn’t admiring you - you were the only girl on the squad who wore a uniform above a size large. 

Still, you couldn’t help but fantasize about the idea of the three of them. Kol wasn’t really your type, so he was an easy kill. Klaus was gorgeous, to be sure, but something about Elijah was still singing through your veins after laying eyes on him that first time. 

“Kill Kol, fuck Klaus, marry Elijah.”

Caroline gave you a wicked smile. “Elijah, huh?”

You shrugged. “He’s incredibly good looking.”

“Poor Kol.” Caroline said, her lip pouting. 

“Rejection builds character.”

You glanced up again, and Elijah looked as if he might be laughing - Klaus too. Kol had his arms crossed against his chest. Weird….

Rebekah shrieked all of a sudden, breaking you out of your thoughts, as the Timberwolves finally scored, and the squad got on their feet to cheer. 

The game ended with a Timberwolves win which you were thankful for - every win meant half price burgers at the grill. You and a few other girls planned to go there after, and you grabbed your stuff from the locker room, hoping to get to your car and beat them there - you were not going to be the fat girl in a mini skirt sliding into a booth full of people. 

Bonnie, Elena and Caroline were all leaving together, huddled in conversation. 

“Half price burgers, ladies?” you asked, walking backwards in front of them. “A Timberwolves win is a win for all of us.” you joked, quoting your incredibly cringy gym coach.

The girls laughed, but shook their heads. 

“Homework.”

“Boy drama.”

“Tired.”

They’d all spoken at the same time, and you gave them all an incredulous look. “Ladies, I’m heartbroken. Next time if you’re going to break my heart, do it one at a time.”

You gave them a winning smile, and they returned it easily, thankful you hadn’t been upset.

“Next time I’m making you guys go!” you called, still walking backwards as you exited the hallway out of the locker room. You backed into the double doors leading to the parking lot and called a goodbye to them, turning around.

And slamming right into someone.

“Oh!” you cried, toppling towards the asphalt. The ground never came, though, because a pair of hands was holding you steady, and lifted you slowly upwards until you were staring Elijah Mikaelson in the face.

“My apologies.”he said, in a voice that hit that your ears and sent shivers straight to the apex of your thighs. Your jaw dropped, suddenly faced with his nearness. 

“Not at all!” you cried. “I wasn’t looking.” 

Not too far away stood Kol and Klaus. The former was watching you and Elijah, looking like he was trying very hard not to laugh. Klaus, of course, had become distracted the moment Caroline had appeared. He was stalking towards her, and to your surprise, Caroline looked like she might be walking towards him too. Normally she brushed him off completely. 

You focused your attention back on Elijah. 

“Excellent job tonight.” he said, his eyes locked on yours. You felt flushed from the unbroken eye contact, but didn’t dare break it. 

“Thanks. It makes our job a bit easier when the team actually manages to score.”

He laughed, full and bright, and it made your heart soar to hear it. 

“I’m Y/N.” you said, introducing yourself. 

“Elijah. Mikaelson.”

“Nice to meet you Elijah.” 

You offered your hand and he took it firmly in yours, but rather than shake it, he brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of it. Ok, you were officially a puddle on the ground and people were going to have to step in you to get to their cars.

“Hi!” came a bubbly voice, and you glanced over seeing Jessica. Of course she was going to try and stake her claim. 

“I’m Jessica.” she said, sidling up next to you. “I saw you in the stands earlier. You’re a Mikaelson, aren’t you?”

Elijah nodded politely. “My reputation precedes me.”

Jessica smiled her flirty smile and pushed her chest out. “Rebekah and I are good friends. I make a point to know my friends’ families. It’s only good manners.”

You rolled your eyes involuntarily from behind Jessica, who had stepped into your space. When had she ever spent time with Rebekah outside of practice? She was clearly making her claim known, and you huffed, backing off. 

A guy like Elijah wouldn’t be interested in you, anyway. It would have been nice to at least been given a chance, though, before perfect little Jessica had to come in and do her thing. 

You sighed to yourself. That wasn’t nice. Jessica was your friend. It just sucked, sometimes, being the only bigger girl in a group of girls. Things were different for you. 

“Well, I’ll let you two get acquainted.” you said, and Jessica quickly told you not to wait up for her at the Grill. You smiled encouragingly at her, even though you would have rather eaten nails. Jessica did technically see Elijah first, though, so regardless, the rule of dibs was firmly in place. Elijah’s eyes met yours and he looked…disappointed? It was probably nothing. 

As you turned to go to your car, Matt Donovan brushed past you, walking fast. “Sorry, Y/N!” he called, power walking to his truck. You shook your head, laughing. You’d never seen Matt move that fast for anything, not even out on the field.

The other girls had made their way out now, and you caught up with them briefly to let them know you'd be going home instead of out. You weren't really in the mood for celebration any more. They gave you tight hugs and told you to call them in the morning, and you gave them all the finger just to get a laugh out of them.

Bonnie was leaning against her car when you made your way to yours. 

“Why’d you do that?” she asked, giving you a curious look.

“Why’d I do what?” you said, tossing your duffle into the backseat. 

“You just let Jessica take over. You were talking to Elijah first.”

“Yeah, but Jessica saw him first. Besides, I bumped into him. It’s not like we talked about anything profound.”

Bonnie sighed. “You wanted to talk to him though.”

You crossed your arms. “Yeah, so?”

“So!” she cried, placing her hands on your shoulders. “So you’re the funniest girl on the planet, and you're beautiful and talented and you deserve to be happy.”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up.”

“It’s true! You’re amazing.”

“I know, I just wanted you to say more.”

Bonnie shoved at you playfully. “See? Your wit is unmatched.”

“And you’re kind.” you said seriously. “And a really, really good friend.”

Bonnie looked down, her mouth quirked to the side. “Thank you.”

A laugh echoed from across the parking lot, and you stared at Caroline and Klaus standing by Caroline’s car. They were standing close together and laughing, and Klaus’ finger was twirled around a strand of Caroline’s hair.

You hit Bonnie in the shoulder and pointed. 

“Ummmmmm?” You gave her an incredulous look.

“I know!” Bonnie said, coming to lean against your car. “She said she broke up with Tyler. She said she’s done with wishy-washy.”

You smiled happily as the two continued flirting. “I’ve been dying for them to get together.”

“No, literally!” She threw her hands up in the air. “The tension was incredibly cuttable.”

You snorted. “Like, thick enough I think I’d need a chainsaw.”

Bonnie hid her giggle behind her hand. You watched Klaus and Caroline as Bonnie began asking you if you were still going to the grill.  You wished you had a guy to flirt with against your car.

“I’m kind of hungry all of a -”

Bonnie’s voice trailed off, and you tore your eyes away from the happy couple to stare at your friend. 

“Bon?”

Her eyes were trained behind you, a small smile on her lips. You followed her eyes, and there was Elijah. His nearness startled you, and you jumped a foot in the air.

“My apologies.” he said, amusement in his eyes. 

“We have got to stop meeting like that.” you responded.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Bonnie called, already on the other side of her car and hopping in the front seat. You gave her an incredulous look. 

“Traitor!” you called, as she began to pull out. She looked completely self righteous as she pulled out of the parking lot, Britney blasting on her speakers.

“Well..” you breathed, turning back to Elijah. “Twice in one night? To what do I owe my great fortune?”

He shrugged. “I have a thing for cheerleaders.”

Your jaw dropped. “Wait, are you serious?”

He laughed. “No, not at all. But I saw you from the stands and wanted to get to know you better. So here I am.”

You couldn’t help the huge smile overtaking your face. Elijah Mikaelson wanted to get to know you? 

“What about Jessica?”

He shrugged. “She’s a nice girl. Not really my type.”

“And I am?”

He huffed. “Am I not making myself clear? Shall I fetch a plane and spell it out in the sky for you?”

I shook my head, faux serious. “It’s nighttime Elijah. I’d never be able to see that.”

He snorted - actually snorted. It was the most adorable thing you might have ever heard. 

“You’re a minx, and you know it. Now agree to go to dinner with me.”

“Half price burgers at the grill?”

He smiled wryly. “No, that won’t do. I’m a full price kind of guy. I need candles, roses, the whole chair pulling out thing. Carlo’s. Friday night. Eight o’ clock.”

Carlo’s was like, ridiculously nice. And expensive. “But that’s-”

“It’s what?” he challenged. “Because if you’re suggesting I can’t afford it…”

You shook your head. “No, of course not. I’m sure you can. But I can’t!”

Faster than you could even fathom, Elijah was backing you up into the side of your car, his hands locked on either side of you, face inches away from your own. His eyes were dark and bore into you, making your palms begin to sweat.

“I’m not in the habit of taking women out on dates and having them pay.” His breath fanned across your face. Your eyes flickered down to his lips, and you shivered. His presence was intoxicating. 

“Have I made myself clear?” he asked, and damn if that question didn’t excite you. You nodded, your breath hitching, and he leaned even closer to you for a moment before pushing himself away.

“Good!” he declared, and once he backed off, he took a moment to rake his gaze across your body. Your uniform did little for the imagination, and you were kind of thankful.

“See you soon, Y/N.” He called sweetly, shifting from domineering to polite so quick you had whiplash. You watched him go, a dopey smile on your face.

“Wait!” you called. “Do you want my phone number?”

He paused, then reached into his pocket for his phone. He typed for a moment, then locked the screen and placed it back in his pocket.

Your phone dinged.

Tell Bonnie I said thank you.

You smirked. Of course Bonnie had given him your number. You'd have to remember to get her a thank you gift.

As you started your car and got ready to go, movement from the car behind you caught your attention in your mirror. You struggled to see clearly what it was, but when you did, you were shocked.

There, in the pickup truck Rebekah Mikaelson had gifted him, was Matt Donovan making out with her brother Kol. 

You laughed all the way home, imagining the look on Rebekah’s face when she finds out.

[hellohannie]

Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince | hjs

“𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙪𝙣 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮, 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪”

all you've ever wanted to do was graduate high school and get out of the small town you grew up in. that was until you met (and fell hopelessly in love with) joshua hong. part of the taylor swift x seventeen collection

♡ PLAYERS - joshua hong x f.reader

♡ WORD COUNT - 8.4K

♡ TAGS - high school au, cheerleader!reader, drum major!joshua, mutual pining, fluff, minor angst

♡ INSPIRATION - Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince by Taylor Swift

♡ NOTES - hi :) this is my first ever fic on tumblr! i write on other platforms , and i wanted to get a masterlist running on tumblr as well. also, this story takes place in a high school setting and revolves slightly around the american football season. however, for the purpose of the plot, we are going to pretend that state championships happen in april…lol

ok hope you enjoyyyyy :))))

Go! Fight! Win!

You stood on the sidelines, cheering as loud as you could. Your throat was burning, your legs aching, but the adrenaline pumping through your veins kept you from feeling it. It's the most important football game of the season. Not only is it the playoff game that would determine which high school would make it to the state championship, but it's also the night all the college scouts come to recruit seniors to join their teams the next year. 

As the senior cheer captain, the pressure was on to be perfect. With all eyes and cameras on you, this was your chance to get scouted by the most elite colleges in the nation. A scholarship to a coastal university is your only ticket out of the godforsaken town you live in. There was nothing holding you back.

Except...

"Touchdown, number 13 Choi Seungcheol!"

The sounds of students cheering, the announcer yelling, the scoreboard buzzing all faded away when the marching band began the play the school's fight song. The rest of your team members, along with the students in the bleachers, ran past you to rush the field, but you stood in your place, focused on something else.

Someone else.

All the way on the opposite end of the bleachers, in the designated band section, stood Joshua Hong. While his attention was on conducting the band, your attention was on him. He was beautiful, even in his stuffy uniform, with the wind blowing hair into his face. 

You'd loved Joshua since sophomore year, when you were just sixteen years old. It was the beginning of the spring semester, and he was a new transfer student. As the sophomore class rep for student council, you were asked to give him a tour. You remember being breathless when you first saw him, his soft features and doe eyes so inviting. 

"Hi, I'm Y/N, the sophomore class representative," you'd said, blood rushing to your cheeks when he smiled at you.

"I'm Joshua Hong, it's nice to meet you!"

He'd told you, as you gave him a tour of your school, that his parents moved here from Los Angeles. 

"From LA? Why would anyone want to move to middle of nowhere America when you could live in LA?" You were dumbfounded. All your life you'd wish to move out of your little town, so you couldn't imagine why anyone would want to move in. 

Joshua just shrugged. "I don't know, I think it's nice how everyone here knows each other. It feels warm and intimate in a way."

"You don't know anyone here though, aren't you upset you had to leave all your friends behind?" 

He turned to look at you, flashing you a smile that made his eyes turn into little crescent moons. Your heart stuttered to a stop. "I have you, so at least I have one friend here."

You decided then and there that maybe you could bear living in this town if Joshua lived here too. 

From that day forward, you'd meet up with Joshua after school every Friday. When it was cold, you'd meet him in one of the practice rooms in the music hallway. He'd play something on his guitar while you told him gossip about all your classmates. Once it started to get warm, you'd meet him under the big maple tree in the courtyard. 

If there was one thing Joshua loved most, it was music. You'd never seen him look as serene as he did when he played his guitar.

If there was one thing you loved most, it was Joshua.

When he was gone all summer visiting his family in South Korea, you felt empty. Of course you had other friends. You'd known the girls on the cheer team since you were children, cheering on the junior team together. Yet, no one understood you quite like Joshua. There were times when you'd sit under the maple tree and not say a word to each other. You'd do your homework while Joshua played, and you were the happiest you'd been all day. If you'd had a good day, Joshua would play happy music. If you'd had a bad day, Joshua would play somber music. If you'd had a stressful day, Joshua would play calming music. He could read you like the back of his hand, and you loved him more for it. 

It was no surprise to you when Joshua came back in the fall and joined the marching band. You were happy for him, ecstatic even, because this meant you'd be able to hang out with him at all the games. 

Or so you thought. 

You're not sure where you went wrong, but you and Joshua began to slowly drift apart. With classes getting harder, and you having cheer practice every day after school, you barely had time to talk to each other in the hallways, let alone meet up after school.

Then, one Friday in September, cheer practice got cancelled. While your teammates all rushed home to enjoy their evening off, you ran to the music hallway. You felt giddy as you approached practice room B and heard the familiar chords of Joshua's acoustic guitar. The thought of Joshua still going to your practice room, following your old routine, made your heart race. He still remembered. 

Your fingers just barely touched the door knob when you heard a voice, a female voice. Your blood ran cold. You peeked through the little window on the door of the practice room and saw a girl leaning over Joshua's shoulder, pointing at something on the paper in front of him. It was Kim Minhye, another student in the band. 

You took a step back, hand slipping from the door knob as you tried to blink away the tears gathering in your eyes. Of course Joshua had other friends, you wanted  him to have more friends. He was kind and charismatic, it would be impossible not to like him. Yet, it still hurt, knowing your guys's thing, was no longer yours. He was doing it with someone else.

From that day forward, you only ever saw Joshua like you did tonight, at football games. During the game, you focused on cheering, in hopes of catching the attention of a scout from a D1 school. At the end of every game, you'd turn and look at Joshua, and watch him do what he loved. You'd tell yourself that you'll always love him, even after you ran away from this town. 

When you got home and went to sleep, you'd dream of him. Except, in your dreams, he'd be running away with you. 

It was the first week of March. The weather was getting warmer and senior prom was steadily approaching. Ever since you'd met him, you wanted to go to prom with Joshua. However, you would've never anticipated the competition you would have. 

You'd be lying if you denied the popularity you had at school. As a top student who was involved in all sorts of extracurriculars and captain of the cheer team, it was a given that you'd have friends in nearly every circle. Now, Joshua's popularity was a shock, and that has nothing to do with his personality. It had everything to do with his antisocial tendencies. 

You could count on your right hand the people you'd consider Joshua's friends, and they were all in the band. Lee Jihoon, Kwon Soonyoung, and Choi Hansol were just as much in love with music as Joshua, so it was a given that they'd pull him into their circle. The only other person Joshua really interacted with was Kim Minhye, who was now also a drum major. 

Besides these four, Joshua never spoke to anyone else. That, however, didn't stop everyone else from wanting to speak with him. You supposed that when Joshua looked like he did, of course people would want to be friends with him. Wasn't that what you wanted when you met him two years ago?

The courtyard was alive with students after school, everyone wanting to soak in the first warm day you'd had in months before going home. As you walked, you noticed a crowd of people whispering and pointing. Curious, you walked in a direction that you hadn't been in so long, yet felt like second nature. 

There, below the maple tree, sat Joshua. 

There, like every other day, was a new girl, timidly asking Joshua to prom.

And there, once again, she was turned down by the Heartbreak Prince. 

It started the first week of February, the prom proposals. A girl from student council, Shin Nari, approached Joshua in the cafeteria during lunch. You envied her a bit, envied her bravery. She did something you wanted to do, but never could. That's why you felt bad for her when he turned her down. You thought it was obvious that Joshua would say no. Of course it was, because who else would he go with if not the girl he spent every day with, Minhye. Still, you couldn't blame Nari. This was Joshua. If you still had feelings for him, despite knowing he only had eyes for Minhye, why wouldn't anyone else. 

Since then, there was a new girl every day who would ask Joshua to prom, in hopes that she'd be the one to win over the Heartbreak Prince. Every day, another heart was broken. 

You stood there, watching as the girl walked away from the maple tree, brushing away tears. The students around you began to disperse, criticizing the girl for being naive enough to think she was the one Joshua wanted. Joshua went back to plucking his guitar, the newly growing maple leaves casting shadow patterns on his body and the ground around him. 

When Joshua was under the maple tree, he was always alone. You never understood why his friends never joined him. Instead, they'd sit at one of the benches nearby until Joshua joined them, at which point they'd leave together. Under the maple tree is the most peaceful place on campus, so it's a shame they never thought to experience it. 

You considered walking over and talking to Joshua. It had been so long since you'd heard his voice, it wouldn't hurt to just ask how he's been.

You're about to take a step forward when someone blocks your path. You glance up to see it's Seungcheol, one of your oldest friends. You and Seungcheol met in sixth grade, when your junior cheerleading team would cheer for his junior football team. Both of you shared a dream of becoming team captains when you were seniors, a dream you both achieved. 

"Hi Y/N," Seungcheol smiled, dimples pressing deep into his cheeks. 

"Hi Seungcheol, how are you?" You glanced down and noticed the single white rose he held in his hand.

Seungcheol responded to your question, but you didn't hear a single word as your mind drifted away. Joshua's mom adored roses, to the point where their house was surrounded by rose bushes. It's why Joshua's clothes always carried the scent of roses.

A hand waved in front your eyes and you jolted, looking up to see Seungcheol looking at you with worry. "Are you alright? I asked you something, but I don't think you heard me."

"Oh, I'm sorry Cheol," you replied, feeling guilty. "I think I just need to head home and rest. What it is that you wanted to ask me?"

It was only when Seungcheol extended the rose towards you that you realized what was happening. "I wanted to ask you if you'd be my date to prom."

Your heart dropped to your stomach, and one look at Seungcheol's shy smile was enough to make you wish the ground would just swallow you whole. "Cheol..."

"I've been wanting to ask you since freshman year. We've been friends for so long, it only makes sense that-" 

You couldn't bear to let him continue. "Seungcheol, I'm sorry," you cut him off, shaking your head. He looked at you, eyes wide in confusion. "I can't go with you."

You fisted your hands into the skirt of your dress, trying so hard not to just cave and say yes just to make him stop looking at you so hurt. 

"Why not?"

"You're really sweet and you're a great friend but," you turned your gaze to the grass below you to avoid looking at Seungcheol's expression. "I don't want to lead you on or give you false hope."

The silence was so long you had to look up to see what he was thinking. "Is there someone else you want to ask you?" His voice had dropped in pitch, face devoid of all emotion.

"Of course not!" you stammered, thrown off by the question. "Listen Cheol, I'm really, really sorry," you started to step back. "I just, I'm sorry." You turned and walked towards your car, eager to get home and out of this awful situation.

Seungcheol stood rooted in his spot, tightening his grip on the rose as his hands began to shake in anger. He knew you were lying. 

It was quick. So quick and reflexive that you probably didn't even realize you did it. Didn't realize that you took a quick glance over his shoulder when he asked you if you wanted someone else to ask you to prom. Seungcheol looked over his shoulder towards the maple tree. Towards the boy who you really wanted to ask you to prom. Towards Joshua Hong, who you didn't even realize was watching you wistfully as you walked away. 

When you got to school the next day, you looked for Seungcheol. You felt awful for lying to him and running away the day before. You owed him an explanation, and felt comfortable with telling him the truth. He was a close friend of yours after all. 

As you walked through the hallways, you felt eyes on you. As usual you smiled at your classmates as you walked by them, but today they didn't smile back. Instead they were glaring and whispering. It wasn't until you overheard what they were whispering that you realized they were talking about you.

She's such a bitch.

I can't believe she just pretends to be so sweet only to stab him in the back like that.

What a two faced liar. 

When you caught sight of your teammates, you rushed over. 

"Hey guys, do you know what's going on?" Your question was met with glares.

Dani, another senior on the team, scoffed. "You're kidding right? Just drop the act Y/N."

To say you were confused was an understatement. "What? What do you mean?"

"We know what you did to Seungcheol, the whole school knows," another girl responded, crossing her arms as she looked at you in disgust.

"Oh," you nodded in realization. "I know, I reacted horribly, that's why I wanted to find him and apologize. I feel like I owe him an explanation-"

"An explanation?" Dani asked, incredulously. "What explanation is there for using someone just to make someone else jealous?"

You paused, mouth open in shock at what Dani just said. "What?!"

Dani rolled her eyes, while some of the other girls in the group just scoffed and walked away. "Seungcheol told everyone the truth. That you guys had been dating since the summer, but you wanted to keep it lowkey until college admissions were in. Then when he told you that he got into UCLA and would go to college with you, you broke up with him and told him that the only reason you were with him was because you wanted Joshua, but you knew he'd turn you down."

By now, the hallway was dead silent, everyone listening in on your conversation with Dani.  

"You're nothing but a two faced liar. I can't believe I have to spend my last year cheering with a captain like you," Dani slammed her locker shut and walked away before you could respond. You stood frozen in shock, the students around you pointing and whispering until the bell rang and it was time to head to class. The sound jolted you out of your stupor and you went to class, simply going through the motions until the end of the day.

You were walking to your car when you noticed a figure leaning against it. It wasn't until you got closer that you realized it was Seungcheol. Quickly, you walked over, betrayal clear on your face as you asked, "Why did you tell everyone we dated and that I used you?"

Seungcheol smirked at you, still leaning against your car. "You lied to me Y/N. You told me you didn't want anyone else to ask you to prom, but you did. You wanted Joshua to ask you to prom."

You stiffened, "How did you kn-"

Seungcheol suddenly stood straight, bending over to meet your height. "The boys on the team all know I've liked you since freshman year. Do you know how humiliating it would be for me if they found out you turned me down for Hong? I couldn't let you ruin my reputation like that."

By now you were seething with anger. "So you ruined mine? I came to school today with the intention of telling you the truth because I thought you were my friend. How could you do this to me?" You were yelling, and people were staring, but you didn't care. 

"Oh please," he scoffed. "You should be thanking me, I did you a favor. You think the Heartbreak Prince would make an exception for you?" He cooed, mockingly. "Besides there's only two months of school left. Who cares if your reputation is ruined, you've always wanted to run away from this town anyways. Now you've got nothing left to hold you back." He patted your head condescendingly before walking away.  

You stood by your car, waiting for everyone to leave your sight before turning and running away. A pair of doe eyes followed.

It's been years since you sat under the maple tree. While you used to sit under it and laugh, this time, you were crying. 

Seungcheol was right, there was nothing holding you back from leaving now. The only thing you cared about enough to keep you in this town was Joshua, but there's no way he'd ever want you back now. 

You sat in the shade, arms wrapped around your knees, head buried between them. You shoulders shook as you sobbed, your breath getting caught in your throat. It was then that you heard it. Music.

At first you thought it was your mind playing tricks on you. As if the ghost of memories past was lingering around the maple tree, playing back the music that used to bring you comfort. Then you heard the crunch of leaves under shoes. 

You looked up and your heart stuttered. Even the thick tears blurring your vision could never keep you from recognizing Joshua. He stood there in front of you, acoustic guitar hanging from his neck, his delicate fingers plucking at the strings. The sun formed a halo around his face from behind, and he looked as ethereal as ever. You dropped your head to your knees again, sobbing harder at the heartbreak and embarrassment you felt after seeing him. 

You felt some movement next to you, and suddenly, the air felt warmer, music louder. Joshua had sat next to you, leaning against the trunk of tree as he continued to play the guitar. For the next thirty minutes, Joshua was a steady presence next to you. He didn't stop playing until you turned to him, breathing finally evened out. You sniffled and rubbed at your swollen eyes while Joshua rummaged through his backpack. There was so much you wanted to say to him, but your throat choked up every time you tried.

Joshua handed you a pack of tissues and kindly looked away as you blew your nose and wiped your tears. "How can I help you?"

Despite it all, you couldn't help but let out a breathy laugh. Of course he didn't ask you something ridiculous like are you ok? or what's wrong? This was Joshua, who always knew the right thing to say. You think in a different circumstance, you would've felt endeared. 

"Are you sure you want to be seen sitting with me? I'm a liar and a snake after all," you looked down at your hands, chipping at the polish on your nails. 

Joshua considered you for a second. "Have you ever lied to me?"

Your eyes snapped towards him as you shook your head frantically. "Never!"

Joshua smiled, reaching out to pat your head. "Then yes, I want to be seen sitting with you. You were my first friend here Y/N. I'd never abandon you."

The whispers still followed you down the hallways, but you didn't care anymore. People called you names, said you were a bad person who used people to her advantage, but it didn't bother you. The students stared and pointed as you made your way to the maple tree that Friday. Your companion was waiting for you, guitar perched on his lap as he scribbled on some sheet music. 

Joshua looked up at you inquisitively, searching your face for something. When he found what he was looking for, he turned back to his guitar, playing an animated tune. You sat beside him and opened your notebook, working on your homework as Joshua played out your emotions for everyone who was eavesdropping.

She's happy, the chords announced. You couldn't help but smile, because he was right. For the first time since sophomore year, you truly felt happy again. 

Once again, you and Joshua fell back into your Friday afternoon routine. One Friday in mid-April, you sat under the maple tree alone. Usually Joshua was there before you, but for some reason, you beat him there this time.

You looked up as voices approached you, and you recognized the girl with Joshua as Minhye. Like always Minhye was a constant presence by Joshua's side and while the sight of them together made your heart clench with jealousy, you tried your best to will it away. After months without him, you were finally back to having Joshua as a friend. If that's the only way you could be with him in this lifetime, then so be it.

They stopped by the bench where the rest of Joshua's friends usually sat. Minhye quickly looked your way before turning back to Joshua. "So anyways, I just wanted to remind you about the scholarship audition. Don't forget to sign up for it."

Joshua nodded his assent before walking towards you. You gave him a quick smile as he sat down and unzipped his guitar case. 

"So...what was that about?" You asked, hesitantly. 

"Oh, it's nothing," he replied, quietly tuning the instrument in his lap. "The state university opened their scholarship portal for prospective music majors and Minhye was reminding me of the deadline."

You nodded, picking at the grass tickling your calves. "Ah, ok."

You paused. "Wait," you scrambled to your knees. "You got in??"

Joshua looked up at you, sheepishly, then nodded. 

You couldn't stop the squeal that made it's way out of your mouth. "Shua, oh my god! That's amazing." 

Before you could process your actions, you lunged at him, holding him tightly around his shoulders. The smell of fresh roses sent your heart racing again, and it wasn't until a few moments had passed that you realized Joshua wasn't hugging you back. 

You pulled away quickly and fell onto your butt, scooting back a bit for good measure. Joshua sat frozen, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. You on the other were apologizing profusely. 

"Joshua I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me, I-"

A warm hand took ahold of your forearm and yanked you back into Joshua's chest. This time, it was your turn to sit shock still as Joshua wrapped his arms around your waist. 

"Thank you," he whispered, his cool breath brushing past the shell of your ear. You felt a shiver run down your spine as you pulled away, looking every where but at Joshua. 

You listened intently as Joshua told you about the incredible music program the state school had to offer. You chanced a glance at him once, and it was probably one of the biggest mistakes you'd ever made. Joshua's eyes sparkled as if the galaxy was held in them. You steeled your resolve. You can't leave this town anymore, not if this is the only place Joshua wants to be. The scout from the state university would be at the championship game. You plan to impress her so much she'll sign that scholarship check then and there, even if it kills you.

It was the night of the state championship game, and for the first time since junior year, you dreaded going. You expected it all, the glares from the students, the whispers from your teammates, the mocking laughter from the football players, but it didn't hurt any less. Still, you led the cheers and did the stunts that were muscle memory by now. 

Your school won and you watched wistfully as your peers rushed the field. The football players lifted their teammates onto their shoulders while everyone hugged and cheered. That was you once before. Now, you walked towards your bag with your head hung, hoping to quickly put away all of your equipment and leave the field before drawing any attention. Unfortunately for you, you were still one of the most talented cheerleaders in the state, and you were still in the running for some major scholarships. 

"Y/N L/N!" You heard your name being called from behind. You turned to face the flock of news reporters, microphones thrusted in your direction. You were asked an endless amount of questions on the game, the upcoming cheer competitions and your thoughts on college. Like you were trained to by your coach, you answered them all professionally, without giving too much away. 

"You know Y/N," a male reporter began, "Word on the field is that you are Lakeside High's own Miss Americana." 

You tilted your head to the side. "Miss Americana?" You asked with a fake smile. 

The reporter laughed, "No need to act so coy Y/N! Miss Americana, the encapsulation of all things good. You're the perfect student: beautiful, smart, talented. What's it like, to be the very thing everyone wishes they could be?"

The microphones were pushed closer to you, everyone curious about your answer. You fisted your hands into the straps of your duffel to alleviate your anxiety, while you kept the pageant smile plastered on your face. 

"Um...well-"

You felt your body get jerked to the side as a heavy arm threw itself across your shoulder. "I should've know it was Y/N hogging all the reporters," Seungcheol joked. "I was waiting so patiently to be interviewed on my winning touchdown." He mock pouted at the cameras, effectively charming the reporters. It took everything in you not to roll your eyes and throw Seungcheol off of you. 

"We were just asking Y/N what it's like to be Miss Americana," the first reporter told Seungcheol. You froze, afraid of how he'd respond. 

Seungcheol pulled you closer to his side, flashing you his infamous dimpled smile. "She's perfect isn't she? They say humans are flawed, but you'd think she's an exception to the rule."

Seungcheol turned back to the reporters while you continued to look at him, bewildered. Why is he suddenly being so nice to you, as if he hasn't been spreading malicious rumors about you all week.

All of a sudden, you noticed his gaze shift towards someone at the back of the group. His smile turned into a smirk. The reporters may not have noticed the shift, but you did. Your heart began to race when you followed his line of sight and saw the scout from your state college. She was looking at you with a smile, and you started to feel giddy. 

She was here to offer you a scholarship, she had to be. If you committed to the university then you'd be close enough to see your family often, to see Joshua often. Finally, it felt like things were falling into place.

Seungcheol let out a theatric sigh, "Too bad our school's sweetheart is going to leave us soon."

Your eyes widened, and you accidentally let your facade slip. Murmurs of confusion rippled through the group in front of you. 

No, no, no. Please don't say it, please-

"Y/N's biggest dream is to leave this little town and go live in a big city on the coast. She's a free spirit," Seungcheol moved his arm from your shoulder to grab a hold of your hand with both of his. "While we'll all miss her, we know we have to let her go so she can thrive. I just hope she doesn't forget us out there in the big leagues."

His eyes flashed to yours, triumph gleaming in his eyes. While the reporters all gasped and started bombarding you with questions, you looked around desperately for the scout. It was too late though. She had already left to go talk to another senior on your team. 

All of those cameras taking photos and videos of you, but not a single one caught the cries you muffled inside as you lost your last chance to be with Joshua Hong.

You didn't have to wait until Friday to see Joshua this time because he came to find you at lunch the following Monday. 

"Hey Y/N!" he sat down in the seat across from you. The cafeteria was full of students, but you had the table all to yourself. You supposed that's what happens when you become public enemy #1. 

"Dani has been running her mouth all over school about how the scout from the state university offered her a full ride," Joshua rolled his eyes, something he seemed to have picked up from you. "Was anyone from UCLA there?" He sounded hopeful. 

You were a little thankful that he seemed to care so much about your future. Lord knows you've given up. It didn't matter where you ended up anymore, not if it meant you'd have to leave Joshua behind. 

You shrugged, "Not that I know of." You pushed around the salad on your plate with a fork. 

Joshua nodded solemnly, staring at your plate. 

"Shua?" He looked up at you, eyebrows raised in question. "Did you apply anywhere else, besides the state school?"

He blinked. "Why?"

You sighed, a bit disappointed. "No reason. Hey, I have to go, I forgot I have to print something for class." You quickly grabbed all of your things before turning towards Joshua. "I'll see you Friday?"

He looked like he was going to say something, but you had already turned and walked away. 

It was the Friday before prom. You sat under the maple tree, waiting for Joshua to join you. You watched as his group walked through the courtyard, when a girl stopped them to get Joshua's attention. While he split away from them to speak to her, the rest of Joshua's friends moved to their bench. When you made eye contact with Minhye, you gave her a cordial smile, which she took as an invitation to approach you. 

"Hi Y/N," she greeted you kindly.

"Hi Minhye, how are you?" You watched as she sat in front you, tucking her legs underneath her as she smoothed out her skirt. 

"I'm fine, thank you for asking!" You glanced over her shoulder as she spoke, distracted by the interaction between the girl on volleyball team and Joshua. "Looks like he's turning her down too," Minhye commented, when she noticed where your gaze was directed. 

You nodded, silently, hoping the relief wasn't too evident on your face. You played with your bracelet, feeling awkward as Minhye studied you. 

"Are you going to prom tomorrow?" She asked after a moment of silence. 

You shrugged, "I'm not sure yet. I don't really have anyone to go with." A part of you was afraid you'd be met with pity when you made eye contact with Minhye. Instead, you were pleasantly surprised when she simply nodded in understanding. 

"If you do decide to go, Hansol, Jihoon and Soonyoung will be there. They'll definitely keep you company if you'd like," she smiled reassuringly. It was just as you feared. You couldn't dislike Minhye no matter how hard you tried. She was refined, thoughtful, and clearly very talented. No wonder Joshua liked her. 

"You're not going?" you asked, genuinely curious. 

Minhye sighed in disappointment. "I can't, the Dean of Fine and Performing Arts from the state university is coming tomorrow to hold scholarship auditions. Mine is at 8 pm and Josh goes at 8:30, so he can't go either."

You're not sure why your heart clenched in pain. It wouldn't have mattered whether Joshua went or not, it wasn't like he was going to go with you. Still, whatever small flame of hope you had in you that Joshua might ask you to the dance was finally snuffed out. There was a sudden chill in the air around you. 

You plastered on a smile as you looked at Minhye. "Good luck for tomorrow then. You won't need it though. I've watched you perform. They'd be at a loss if they pass you up as a student."

You brushed away the curl that fell into your face as Minhye grinned at you. "Thanks!" A burst of laughter caught both of your attention as your turned towards the bench where Joshua had joined his friends. 

"You know Y/N," Minhye turned back you, speaking in hushed tones. "I used to think it was so cold sitting under this tree. I never understood why Josh insisted on sitting here every week, even if he was by himself." She stood up, brushing the dirt off her clothes. "I get it now," she dropped a wink in your direction. 

By now, Joshua had joined you both, setting his things down as he greeted you. "What do you get now?"

"Oh nothing," Minhye smiled cryptically. "It's kinda warm under the tree today, isn't it Josh?"

He hummed thoughtfully. "Yeah, I guess it is."

As you laid in bed that night, you thought back to the conversation you had with Joshua after Minhye left. 

"What was she talking to you about?" Joshua questioned, skeptically. 

"She was just asking me if I was going to go to prom," you answered, rummaging through your bag for a calculator. 

Joshua wordlessly handed you his own before asking, "Are you? Going, I mean."

You shook your head. "Nah, I might pass."

Joshua's eyes widened in shock. "Why not? You've been looking forward to this since your mom gave you her old dress for your 15th birthday!"

Your mouth dropped open as your heart fluttered in your chest. You couldn't believe he'd remembered that small detail you'd shared with him one day years ago in practice room B. 

You turned your head away, hoping your hair would hide your red cheeks from him. "Yeah but I don't have friends to go with anymore. Minhye said your other friends would keep me company but I don't want to submit them to the life of being friends with a social pariah"

Joshua began to speak but you interrupted. "I know what you're going to say. You're going to say that I shouldn't let what everyone else thinks about me stop me from doing what I want." He snapped his mouth shut, shoulders slumped as a sign that you were right. "But, it's exhausting Shua. To pretend it doesn't bother me. Prom is the only other big social event we have left, besides graduation. I'd rather just skip it and lay low."

He watched you for a moment as you scribbled equations in your notebook. Then, he slammed his binder shut, causing your jump and streak your pen across the paper. Joshua turned to completely face you before grabbing ahold of your shoulders. 

"Y/N, you've spent the entirety of this semester avoiding everyone but me because you wanted to avoid being the center of attention. Yet, you were all anyone ever talked about anyways. I know it's a cringe nickname that you hate but you're our school's Miss Americana for a reason. Seungcheol spread those nasty rumors because he couldn't have what he wanted, you. Dani has been telling anything with a pulse about her full ride because she thinks she took it away from you. People want what's yours because they envy you. Use it." 

You were so fascinated by Joshua that you couldn't look away. His eyes were wide, alight with a mixture of emotions you couldn't quite place. You'd only ever seen him so passionate like this with one other thing: music. He was looking at you the way he did when he played music. 

It was like the whole world melted away. You couldn't hear anything but Joshua, see anything but Joshua. You felt like you were falling in love with him all over again.

A knock at your door startled you out of your reverie. 

"Hi sweetheart," your mom poked her head into your room. "I just wanted to say good night!"

You scrambled out of bed. "Mom!" She came back into your room, alarmed by your agitation. 

"Remember your old prom dress?"

A smile started to slowly take over your mom's face. "The one you said you didn't need anymore because you weren't going to prom."

You nodded, blushing as you thought back to Joshua's speech. "Can you bring it back out?"

It was seven o'clock at night when you stood outside the convention center, goosebumps erupting on your skin from both the wind chill and nerves. 

They envy you. Use it.  

Joshua's voice echoed in your mind as you willed up the courage to step inside. You looked down at your phone, quickly sending a text to the boy.

I'm at prom. I hope you're right about this. And good luck with your audition. You'll kill it.

With one last deep breath, you made your way to the ballroom. The music was loud, the bass vibrating the ground beneath your feet. Still, it was deafening, the way people began to whisper, a ripple of silence making its way through the room as your classmates began to notice that you had shown up after all.  

You considered tucking your tail between your legs and running back home. You were only confident when you were with Joshua, you should've known this was a bad idea from the start. Suddenly, a hand grabbed your wrist. You jumped and turned, yanking your hand away. 

"Woah, it's just me!" Hansol held both his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you."

You placed a hand to your chest as you caught your breath. "No I'm sorry, I guess I'm a bit jumpy." You nodded hello to Jihoon and Soonyoung, who both gave you kind smiles. 

"C'mon you can sit with us," Soonyoung said as he led you to one of the tables lining the side of the room. "You're a little late for appetizers but Jihoon grabbed an extra plate for you just in case you decided to show up. Here, eat!"

A small paper plate with some french fries and a cookie was placed in front of the empty chair that you guessed was yours. Your heart swelled at the boys' kindness, but you were also a bit worried. Everyone was still staring, except now, they were looking at the boys too. 

"Don't worry," Jihoon leaned in and whispered. "Any friend of Josh's is a friend of ours." You looked at the three faces who were smiling sweetly at you as you sat down. You hoped your own smile conveyed the gratitude you were unable to put into words. You sat with your back towards the dance floor. Maybe this was also planned by the boys, to keep your face hidden from the others and their faces hidden from you. 

They boys conversed with each other as you sat and listened, adding your own comments when they included you. When the music changed, Soonyoung shot to his feet. "I love this song, let's dance!"

You giggled at the pure joy in his face. That was until he grabbed your hand instead of Hansol's or Jihoon's. "Let's go, please!" he begged, bouncing on the balls of his feet. You looked at the other boys for help but they just snickered, amused at the scene. 

"There's no way he'll let you go now Y/N, you have no choice but to dance with us," Hansol called as he walked away with Jihoon. You surrender to Soonyoung's pleading, allowing him to drag you to the dance floor. You feigned annoyance, but secretly, you were glad the boys pushed you to dance with them. You finally felt you were enjoying the night. 

About an hour later, it was time to announce Prom King and Queen. Everyone returned to their tables and you applauded kindly as the couples who were voted for Prom Court walked down the dance floor to the stage. When you saw Seungcheol and Dani walk by, you sighed. There was a time, when you were a child, that you imagined you'd be Prom Queen, like your mom. Then, there was a time, after you'd met Joshua, that you imagined you'd be Prom Queen, and he'd be Prom King. It was just a fantasy though, and fantasies are just that: an imagination about something that's impossible to make true. 

To no one's surprise, Seungcheol and Dani were voted King and Queen, and they basked in the attention as everyone cooed during their slow dance. When it was time for all the couples the join, a few girls approached your table, asking the boys if they'd like to dance. Your three companions turned to you, eyes big and hopeful. It was clear that while they didn't want to leave you alone, they wanted to dance with these girls. 

"Go ahead," you gave them your signature (fake) smile. "I'll be fine!"

Soonyoung didn't look so convinced. "Are you sure?"

"We'll stay here with you if you want, just say the word!" Hansol added.

"If you'd like, we can dance with you instead," Jihoon nodded in agreement.

You tried to ignore the glare the girls shot you after that last comment. "Seriously you guys, I'm fine, go!" You waved them away, the smile staying on your face until they were out of your sight. You watched wistfully as everyone but you danced under the glittering chandelier. After two slow songs played in a row, and a third one started, you huffed. You took this as a sign that it's time for you to go home. You had just risen from your seat when the people on the dance floor began to gasp and turn to stare at the door to the ballroom. You tried to peek over the crowd but you couldn't see anything. 

"What's going on?" you muttered to yourself, as you walked towards the crowd. The gasps began to turn into whispers of a name.

Is that Joshua? What's he doing here? I can't believe Joshua came.

Your heart began to pick up speed absurdly in hopes that you heard right, that Joshua was here. 

Your brain began to scold your heart to be reasonable, Joshua is at his audition, why would he be here?

The students in front of you began to step to the side, and when you were finally able to see what was going on, you were astonished. There, standing on the other side of the room was Joshua. Your Joshua. 

Your feet were rooted to the ground, unable to move as you stared in pure shock. Joshua was here. Alone. Walking towards you.

When he got close enough, when you caught the scent of roses wafting from his skin, you reached out and slapped his arm.

"Ow!" Joshua looked at you, betrayed. He rubbed at his bicep. "What was that for?" 

"What are you doing here?" you hissed, completely oblivious to the onlookers around you. "Don't you have an audition at 8:30?"

Joshua simply nodded. "I do."

You looked down at the watch on his wrist. "It's 8:20, why are you here and not there?"

You stared, dumbfounded as he shrugged, nonchalantly. "I realized that it's more important for me to be here. With you." He was looking at you with the same smile he gave you the day you first met. The one that made you fall in love with him. The one that meant don't worry, you have nothing to be worried about. It was carefree, brilliant, beautiful.

You were at a loss for words, completely mesmerized by the boy standing in front of you. Your mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. Joshua laughed endearingly, reaching out to tuck a curl behind your ear, before cupping your cheek.

"How long have you loved me?"

This snapped you out of your trance. You jerked back as a strangled noise escaped your throat, but Joshua reached out with his other hand and gripped your upper arm, holding you close to him.

"How long have you loved me Y/N?" he whispered, so softly you were sure no one else could hear but you, despite the pin drop silence that engulfed the whole room. "Because I've loved you since my first day here."

Your heart stopped beating. Your brain stopped thinking. Everything stopped. It was like the world froze, and only you and Joshua existed in it. 

"I should've told you from the start but you dreamt of leaving this town, I didn't want to hold you back. I was afraid that if I told you I loved you, then I would've also asked you to stay, and I couldn't let myself be the one thing that stood in the way of your happiness."

By now, Joshua's hands were holding yours, and he began to speak louder, as if he wanted everyone in the room to hear what he had to say. "So I pulled away from you. I thought that if I distanced myself from you, then the feelings would go away. Except they didn't. I still loved you, and it was a steady sort of love, one that didn't waver whether you were with me or if you were gone. I found comfort in that, knowing that I'd still love you, even if you left me behind some day."

You choked on a sob, remembering when you'd told yourself the same thing. That you'd always love Joshua, even if you left this town, with him in it. 

Joshua let out a breathy laugh, wiping your tears away with his thumb. "I didn't go through with my audition because I don't want to be here without you. You asked me once why someone would want to move to middle of nowhere America and leave all their friends behind. My answer is you. If I had known back then that I'd find someone like you in the middle of nowhere America," you couldn't help but laugh as you cried harder. "I'd leave LA all over again. In a heartbeat."

You reached up to hold Joshua's shoulders and pressed your forehead to his. "You have a flair for the dramatics, who would've guessed," you teased, and he laughed, holding your face in his hands so delicately, you felt precious. 

"I'm confessing to Y/N L/N, the town sweetheart, I couldn't be boring."

You smiled so wide, the way you do only when you're with Joshua. "I've loved you since I first met you, and I've been dying for you to kiss me ever since."

"Thank God," Joshua sighed in relief. "I'm tired of waiting."

When he leaned it to kiss you, it felt like you could finally breathe again. It wasn't explosive or dramatic. It was steady and warm, just like Joshua. His lips felt like silk against yours, his eyelashes tickling your skin as they brushed against your cheek. The sweet scent of roses engulfed you, and you felt your body relax into Joshua's chest. His grip tightened around your waist, causing your breath to hitch. Joshua pulled away slightly, gently bumping your nose with his as you opened your eyes to look at him.

You vaguely hear voices around you, but it doesn't register that you kissed Joshua in front of the entire senior class until Soonyoung whoops "Finally!"

You pull away and look around at all the faces staring back at you. Most of them were shocked, some of them were accepting, and a few were fond (Hansol, Jihoon and Minhye, who must've come with Joshua after her audition). Seungcheol and Dani looked at you with a mix of defeat and anger, and for the first time in a while, you didn't care. 

You look back at Joshua proudly, who smiled at you knowingly. "It's just you and me."

The music started up again, and while everyone around you started to dance, you stood there in Joshua's arms. People still whispered about you, but you didn't care. Right now, your whole world was just Joshua, and nothing else around you seemed to matter anymore.

"Babe, c'mon!" More knocks sounded on the door to your dorm room. "We're going to miss our flight!"

You opened the door to your loving boyfriend, who at the moment, was scowling at you. "I called you thirty minutes ago to tell you I was on my way. What happened?"

You rolled your eyes, "Shua you should be proud of me. I packed all my stuff in under thirty minutes." You brandished your arms wide, showing off your neatly packed luggage.

You felt a bit guilty for riling your boyfriend up on purpose, but you thought it was incredibly endearing how big his eyes and smile got when he got upset. "I can't belie-"

You cut him off with a quick kiss, pulling away with a big smile. It was physically visible, the way he melted when you looked at him like that. "It's just a one year reunion Shua." You say as you pass him your bags. "If you ask me, it's way too soon to 'get back in touch' with the people who made my life a living hell last year."

Joshua shot you an amused look before reaching out to tug on one of your curls. "Really? Because I think you're secretly dying to show off your new life in Los Angeles, and how you're so much better off."

You shot him look of fake annoyance. "I hate how well you can read me."

"No you don't!" he sing-songs back, walking down the hallway towards the elevator with your luggage. 

You turn to grab your keys off the wall hook, eyes catching on the photo above it. Preserved in a simple black frame is a page from your senior yearbook. Written under a candid picture of you and Joshua sitting under your maple tree are the words 

Most likely to run away together: Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince. 

[thedysphoriadiaries]

Entry 34 - 22 March 2023, 8:04pm

阿妹 ah, 你跟他一起吗?

That was what the lady manning the malay rice store asked me, when I ordered food with my brother. I had my mask up, and a hoodie on me, and to be fair, my brother did all the talking, so, I wouldn't be surprised if she saw me as a lady.

I'd like to think she called me 阿妹. I don't know if I should like it, after a lifetime of being somewhat ok with being a guy. Of being told that there was no other option, that what I was born in was what I had to roll with.

Given that I'm basically pre-everything, and in that interaction, there was pretty much nothing to signal my gender other than my hair and half my face, it's gotten me thinking about something.

Who have I expected to see in the mirror all this time?

Now that I come to think about it, I've always preferred looking at myself in the mirror when I had longer hair. It was more... me.

But guys can sport long hair too, and some of them I know in person do have longer hair than I do. Yet, I want my hair to look like the hair of one of the girls around me (she has poofy, wavy hair), and not like the hair of that one guy who happens to be in a local band.

Come to think about it, I find that "but guys can do this too" reasoning is beginning to lose its effectiveness. I know that there's something in me that wants to be a girl, and is happy doing so.

I talked to my brother last night, about the feelings that I was feeling. The stirrings and excitement that comes with designing a female character in a game. The inability to relate to the reasons why guys envy girls. Understanding it, but not feeling it the same way that other guys (like my brother) do. The dislike of my own masculinity. The inevitable envy that comes with being around girls (it's not that bad now, since I'm alone).

Even now, as I sit and type this out, I question if I could just do the things that girls do, but as a guy.

It wouldn't feel the same. It would feel like I was chasing some form of femininity. A mere imitation of what I want, and... it's not me to chase it. There's a difference between chasing something and having it in the palm of your own hand.

And later that night, as I sat cross-legged in bed, with my bolster lying on my lap, I... thought about how nice it would feel to feel my bolster under my breasts (i don't have them cuz i'm not on E and P lmAO).

Then again, I question if I really need to go forward with this. Sure, there are people who say that if you want to be something, you're something, but I kinda disagree with it. Wanting to be a musician doesn't make me a musician (shush), the same way that wanting to be a girl doesn't necessarily make me a girl.

Well, that is, until one decides to take steps to become the person they want to be. I did grow my hair out, and try to eliminate the traces of masculinity in my own voice (kinda not doing so well at it). I joined a community (which I'm not a part of now), and I've talked to others like me. Still, I don't know what I should do about this entire thing.

And, that is quite the heavy question to have on my mind. After all, I'm suspecting, or am sure that I don't experience the same levels of dysphoria that other people have. I could choose not to look at myself in the mirror. I could choose not to look at the girls around me. To some extent, I already do those things. I learnt how to shower without looking at my body. I learnt how to filter out, or straight up avoid interactions (even digital ones) in which I would meet women (and specifically see one).

There are some questions that don't have answers, and this could be one of them.

I could practice something called radical acceptance, and just accept that I won't be a girl. Ever.

But then again, I am the one who has all the power to assert my own identity. Whether I am allowed to express it is another thing entirely.

If anything, this video summarizes my thoughts about myself perfectly (except that I'm not a guy who wants to be a girl; I'm someone who wants to be a girl).

TLDR, it's basically about how this father was scared about how his son, who wanted to be a girl, would be ridiculed, and he let that fear consume him and prevent him from seeing that he still wanted his son to know that he is loved.

And, I suppose I can start with acknowledging that there is nothing wrong with wanting to be something.

...

I typed this entire paragraph out and pressed ctrl+z, and poof my progress was gOnE, so I had to rewrite the entire last part.

cool song time:

[separatist-apologist]

We Never Go Out Of Style

Could end in burning flames or paradise

Summary: When Gwyn breaks up with her boyfriend on the eve of Nesta's destination wedding, Nesta Archeron has only one objective: set Gwyn up with her high school crush.

Note: Based on this tweet from @heathermcwrites: "One of my bridesmaids just broke up with her bf who was supposed to come to my wedding & I was sad for her for about 3 seconds until I remembered that her crush will also be at the wedding (single) and I'm now more committed to this 2nd chance romance than to my own marriage."

"I should also note that this is a destination wedding so there are EVEN MORE opportunities for uh…shenanigans"

PROLOGUE- ten years earlier:

Gwyneth Bedara stepped beneath the overhead lights of the stadium, one hand raised over her eyes. The roar of the crowd was only dimmed by the unintelligible boom of the marching band sitting in the middle of the bleachers. Cheerleaders waved pom poms from the sidelines of the football field, drawing Gwyns attention to the boys in blue and gold uniforms, tensed as they waited for that whistle. 

Beside her, Nesta Archeron’s silvery blue eyes scanned the football players for the person she’d come to see—Cassian Windhaven. Star quarterback with a full ride to some D1 school that Nesta almost certainly wasn’t attending. Not that Gwyn would ever mention that, of course. She understood what it was like to have a crush. 

Her eyes slid over the crowd, looking for him. This game was important—it was homecoming and against a rival school. Senior year saw even the most apathetic of seniors show up for school spirit and events, and in the case of Azriel Valdez, he was hardly an exception. She found him lounging with Rhysand Darcel. They didn’t know her outside of Nesta, who had been dodging Cassian’s advances since the fifth grade.

This year was different, though Gwyn didn’t know how exactly. In the past, Nesta would have rather eaten dirt than come and watch Cassian play and she certainly wouldn’t have picked a seat close enough that both Rhys and Azriel could see. And they did, eyes drifting towards her with a smirk on their faces. 

“Scoot!” a masculine voice interrupted Gwyn’s thoughts. Lucien Vanserra had come to join, pushing between Gwyn and Emerie.

“Did you bring alcohol?” Emerie whispered, looking at the thermos in his hand. Lucien, their schools best soccer player, snorted a laugh.

“I wish. I can’t risk my spot up at Yale. This is water, you lush.”

Nesta wrinkled her nose, eyes sliding back to the field. For a moment, the four of them were quiet, trying to decide if they were going to pretend football was interesting and Nesta was there for the game and not the man currently streaking across the field, ball tucked beneath his arm.

“So,” Lucien said with a shit eating grin. “Cassian, huh?”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed. Leave it to a Vanserra to just come right out and say it. “How’s Elain?”

He scowled. Nesta wasn’t the only one with a crush. Gwyn couldn’t help but look back at Azriel, sitting to the left and six rows beneath her. He didn’t notice her at all, too busy staring at something on the field. She noticed him, though. She’d been noticing him since middle school when he’d transferred in and immediately made friends with Rhys and Cassian. Azriel was tall, all dark hair pushed off his face and warm brown skin. He’d been lanky back then but not anymore. He looked like a man at just eighteen, muscular and broad, his chiseled jaw always graced with a five o’clock shadow. Dressed in a black t-shirt and well fitted jeans, Gwyn couldn’t help but stare at his bulging bicep, already tattooed even though she’d heard he’d gotten in trouble with the school for it. 

He’d never noticed her and Gwyn didn’t blame him. Azriel was hot, he was popular, he was all the things Gwyn was not. While he played soccer with Lucien, Gwyn played chess and was in all the school musicals. The only reason he acknowledged her at all was Nesta, who was so stunning it was impossible not to, even if his best friend wasn’t stupidly infatuated with her. 

Still, in Gwyn’s fantasies—the ones she’d only ever dared to tell Nesta and Emerie—he saw her and he liked what he saw. Beneath the lanky frame and the freckles, he could see her instead of the outward dork everyone else saw. 

She realized too late he was looking at Elain Archeron. Fuck me, Gwyn thought miserably. Him and everyone else. He could get in line right behind Lucien, who was in a line behind her actual boyfriend, Graysen Nolan. And behind Azriel was the rest of the school, save for Cassian and maybe Rhys, who was too busy fucking anything and everything that moved to notice one solitary girl. 

Gwyn sighed, looking away before it soured her mood. At least he couldn’t have Elain. That made her feel a little better, but just barely. Gwyn threw herself into the conversation, forcing herself not to think of Azriel at all. He didn’t matter—he was just a stupid boy, always thinking with his stupid penis.  

The game ended in a win and as the crowd pushed outward, Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie moved down, holding hands until they were standing at the railing. Cassian was jogging forwards, helmet tucked beneath his arm. He was grinning at Nesta, who was watching him with an unreadable expression. Long, dark hair was plastered on his ruggedly handsome face and without word or warning, Cassian surged upwards, practically throwing himself over the railing so he could grab Nesta and press a kiss to her mouth. Both Gwyn and Emerie slapped a hand over their own to keep from giggling. Behind Cassian, Rhys and Azriel were frozen, eyes wide with surprise. 

“When did this happen?” Azriel asked, his deep voice making Gwyn shudder.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Emerie replied easily, unmoved by his good looks. Nesta pushed, her face flushed but Cassian was undeterred.

“You came. I knew there was something lucky about this game,” he breathed. Sweat rolled off his forehead, dripping against his uniform. Nesta had her fingertips pressed to her lips and Gwyn knew, in that moment, Cassian had her. Her and Emerie reached for Nesta, curling their hands around Nesta’s arm and pulling her back.

It was at that exact moment that Azriel’s eyes slid to Gwyn, pinning her in place for only a moment. His mouth quirked into a smile, lips forming the words, “Hey,” to which Gwyn immediately responded, “Hey,” back.

Only for Elain Archeron to bounce into view. He wasn’t looking at Gwyn at all. Just Elain, in her tiny blue and gold skirt and her tanned legs. Golden brown hair, pulled off her face with a gold scrunchy swayed almost hypnotically, drawing Azriel’s gaze. Gwyn wanted to melt into the floor.

Elain, utterly unaware of how he watched her, smacked Cassian in the chest. “What is wrong with you?”

“She wanted it,” was Cassian’s absurd response. 

“Gross,” Elain replied, eyes sweeping over the three of them. “All of you are gross.”

Azriel’s smile immediately faded and Gwyn decided, in that moment, she liked the cheerleader, if only for making Azriel feel as badly as she currently felt. 

“It’s fine,” Nesta breathed, ending things before Rhys could jump in with his loud, unnecessary opinion. “Really. I uh…I’ll talk to you later, Cass.”

Rhys and Azriel’s faces lit up and the use of the nickname.

“Cass?” Rhys all but choked. “Should we be writing a wedding speech?”

“Shut up,” Cassian retorted, elbowing his friend hard in the ribs. “I’ll catch you around, Nes.”

“Oh my God,” Emerie whispered. 

They pulled Nesta back, Elain bouncing on their heels. Everyone wanted to know what was going on, though they were smart enough to say nothing as they thundered over the metal bleachers and down the steps to the pavement. Behind them, Rhys and Azriel were giving Cassian a very hard, very loud time. Nesta’s cheeks burned, either from humiliation or embarrassment. 

The very first thing Nesta said, once they reached the parking lot, was, “Don’t tell dad.” Elain scoffed but Emerie cut her off.

“What’s going on with you and Cassian?”

Nesta mumbled something hiding her face in her long, golden brown hair. 

“What was that?” Gwyn demanded, a grin stealing over her face. She had absolutely heard everything Nesta said.

“I said, he took me on a date the other night,” Nesta managed, her whole face the color of Gwyn’s hair. 

“And you don’t tell us?!” Emerie demanded, tossing her long, chestnut colored braid off her shoulder. 

“It didn’t mean anything,” Nesta, the liar, said.

“It clearly meant something to Cassian,” Elain interrupted with a sly smile. “If he’s calling you good luck.”

Nesta wrenched open the door to her car, letting Emerie take shotgun while Gwyn awkwardly climbed in the back beside Elain. 

“It’s not a big deal–”

“Does Cassian know that?” Gwyn teased. Nesta glanced in the rearview mirror at her, eyes sharp.

“Does Az know?” Nesta retorted.

“Oh hey, come on,” Emerie interjected as Elain sat forward, looking at Gwyn.

“You like Az?” she asked curiously. Gwyn was staring daggers at Nesta. The last thing she needed was Nesta’s busybody sister telling everyone that she liked Azriel.

Emerie smacked Nesta in the arm. “Way to be a bitch.”

“Elain isn’t going to say anything,” Nesta protested while Elain nodded, hand over her heart.

“I swear. I’m just surprised…he doesn’t seem like your type.”

“What does that mean?” Gwyn replied a touch too defensive.

“He’s—”

“An ass,” Nesta interrupted firmly. “And you’re not.”

“Huge ass,” Elain agreed solemnly. “Multiple girls at once—”

“One night stands only,” Nesta added.

“How do you know this?” Emerie demanded, arms crossed over her chest. Nesta pulled onto the road that would take them back to her house where they would sleep for the night.

“Cassian told me—”

“Oh Cassian?” Gwyn demanded, grateful for the conversation to fall off her. “What else did Cassain say?”

The three gleefully piled on Nesta, letting Gwyn’s humiliation with beautiful Azriel fall by the wayside. As long as he didn’t know, Gwyn didn’t care.

After all. The heart wanted what the heart wanted.

PRESENT DAY- 10 years later

Azriel felt a hand on his shoe, gripping before he was ripped from beneath the car he was working on. He grumbled, staring up into the face of his best friend. Cassian grinned, practically dripping with sweat.

“C’mon,” Cassian complained as Azriel sat up. “You’re gonna miss your fucking flight.”

Azriel wiped an equally sweaty forehead on his grease stained arm. 

“One more quick job,” he said, as if that had ever been true. He owned a string of repair shops around the city and on top of managing his business, he still liked to work on cars. Azriel had never stopped liking that, though he spent more time than he preferred sitting in an office pouring over paperwork. There was something cathartic about fixing a problem.

“Leave it for someone else,” Cassian ordered. He was allowed to be bossy—Cassian was getting married. After ten long years of trying to lock Nesta Archeron down, Cassian had finally managed it. He’d had her their senior year of high school and a semester of college before she broke up with him, citing the long distance. Cassian had never quit, though. While Rhys and Azriel had chased anything that moved on two legs, Cassian had been fixated on his studies and his athletics, determined that when Nesta finished law school, he’d be the kind of man she wanted.

And fuck if it hadn’t paid off. Four years apart had made adults of them both. They dated four years, were engaged for two and now Nesta was getting her two week destination wedding on some beachy little island off Italy courtesy of her younger sister's husband. The whole thing was paid for by Vanserra money so long as they kept it relatively small. It was practically a high school reunion. One Azriel wanted to attend, anyway. He knew Nesta’s old high school friends would be there and obviously Cassian had never grown out of him and Rhys. 

More Vanserra’s, which Azriel could live without, and a few others he ought to have known but didn’t. 

Azriel was also the only person without a plus one, at least in the immediate wedding party. Nesta had all but begged him to bring someone. How did he explain there was no one? Some people were destined for marriage, like Cassian and others were destined for sloppy one nights that ended awkwardly. He fell into the latter camp. 

Azriel slid beneath the car before Cassian could stop him, tightening everything up before he emerged, still filthy on the oil splattered cement floor.

“This place will live two weeks without you,” Cassian informed him, like Cassian had the first inkling of what it took to run his shops. Still, Azriel had agreed and wanted to support Cassian and Nesta, who were practically like a brother and sister to him now. 

“I need to shower,” Azriel told him, offering no more acknowledgement than that. “And get my shit. What time does the flight leave?”

“Six hours, but you know Nes is already freaking out. Shit is already messed up–”

“What happened?” Azriel asked, climbing into the passenger seat of Cassian’s SUV. He coached football for the local community college and was always hauling his gear around. Cassian could have gone pro and Azriel wondered if Nesta knew he’d given that up for her. 

“Gwyn’s boyfriend broke up with her–”

“Who is Gwyn?” Azriel interrupted, trying to keep all Nesta’s friends straight in his head. Cassian glanced over, pulling out onto the street.

“You remember Gwyn. From highschool? She’s got the reddish brown hair, the blue eyes—”

“Oh fuck, the girl in all those musicals. I remember her,” he agreed, though he remembered her just barely. Cute as fuck and so quiet Azriel had never been able to figure out what to say to her. She was overshadowed by Nesta, always half a step behind just watching. Azriel could appreciate that, given how loud Rhys and Cassian had been. 

“Why’d he dump her?”

Cassian shrugged. “She dodged a fucking bullet if you ask me. That dude was pretentious as fuck, thought he was so goddamn smart. Imagine lecturing Lucien goddamn Vanserra on American soccer. Because he did last Christmas. He thought he knew everything.”

Azriel could imagine it, though he wouldn’t have. There had always been a weird rivalry between him and Vanserra in high school over Elain Archeron, as if she’d ever looked at either of them twice. Still, they’d tried, and Vanserra had won in college. Azriel didn’t begrudge him his wife or his nice life but that didn’t mean he liked him, either.

The feeling was mutual. 

“Nesta’s freaking out,” Cassian continued. “She had it all planned on even numbers with her and the girls.”

“Huh,” was all Azriel could think to say. It seemed like Nesta had been freaking out about everything since Cassian asked her to marry him. Azriel wasn’t sure what the big fuss was. How difficult was planning a wedding, in the scheme of things? It seemed like Nesta made it more complicated when, at its more barest essentials, was supposed to be about her and Cassian confirming they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. 

While Cassian unloaded his frustrations about the wedding, Azriel very quickly showered and grabbed his suitcase and passport. Time was ticking and the closer they got to their flights departure, the antsier Cassian became. Four hours. That was the window Nesta wanted them all to be at the airport. To do what, who knew? Azriel wanted to die by the time they got there, rolled out of the uber, and into the modern airport. Cassian had a bag he needed to check but Azriel only had his rolling suitcase and a backpack—more than enough for two weeks. He figured he could iron out his suit when he arrived. He sure as fuck wasn’t risking an airline losing his bag just so it showed up a little nicer. 

By the time they got through security, it was clear he and Cassian were the last ones to arrive. Nesta was pacing, arms crossed over her dark sweatshirt. She relaxed her body, though her eyes stayed tight and to avoid a fight, Azriel held up both hands.

“Blame me,” he told her as she hugged Cassian. “I had to take a shower.”

She exhaled. “No, it’s fine. We’re early.”

Cassian looked over Nesta’s head at Azriel, eyes wide as if to say obviously. 

“Is everyone here?” Cassian asked. Azriel drifted, dropping into an ugly gray chair close to the window. He set his bag just beneath his feet and fished out his phone from his pocket, checking his messages for the first time that day. The girl from last weekend was still texting, so obviously hopeful something was going to come out of it. Azriel didn’t know how much more clear he could be without just hurting her feelings. He’d said he didn’t want a relationship and he’d meant it. She, like too many others, was convinced she could change his mind, if the half naked picture staring him in the face was any indication. 

Azriel’s eyes drifted towards the terminal he was sitting in. Cassian was holding Nesta, her chin on his chest while she rapid fire spoke to him. Not far was Elain Vanserra, head on Lucien Vanserra’s shoulder staring down at her phone while he dozed. How long had they been here, Azriel wondered. 

He recognized Emerie from instagram—he’d been following her since she opened a clothing boutique not far from one of his auto bodies. She had her fingers laced with Rhys’s cousin Mor, knuckles to her lips while she spoke quietly. Feyre Archeron was on the other side of Mor making polite conversation with Rhys, who looked so utterly bored Azriel wondered what Feyre could possibly be saying. 

A few seats away from him, sitting diagonally, was Gwyn. He recognized her, though might not have known her name if Cassian hadn’t told him in the car. Coppery brown hair was pulled off her face in twin plaits. Tight leggings encased slim legs and an equally athletic top gave Azriel the general shape of her. Had she been this hot in high school? He genuinely could not remember. 

Head buds in her ears, Gwyn didn’t notice he was staring but Azriel did. Her teal eyes were glazed over, framed by dark lashes. Her full lips were shiny, her nose covered in the softest dusting of freckles. This was the newly single friend of Nestas? 

She blew out a breath, eyes snagging on his. He raised a hand to say hey, as if they’d ever been that sort of friend, embarrassed she’d caught him. Gwyn pulled her headphones out, surprising lighting over her features.

“Oh hey,” she said, her voice soft and pretty. Could voices even be pretty? Hers was. Azriel stretched out his legs, feeling strangely tight. 

“Hey,” he replied, suddenly unsure what he should even say. “You’re coming too?”

“Gangs all here,” she agreed cheerfully, tucking her own legs beneath her body. Gwyn tapped her fingers against her thighs and Azriel noted they weren’t painted. He didn’t know why, but he liked that. Every girl he spent time with made such a fuss over their nails, but Azriel worked in oil. Was covered in it. Maybe he liked the thought of someone who didn’t seem to mind if she wasn’t done up all the time. Someone he could put his grease stained hands on.

What the fuck was wrong with him? He didn’t know this woman.

“Wish we didn’t have to get here so early, though,” Gwyn added conspiratorially. “I’m more of a running through the airport kind of girl myself.”

Azriel snorted. “Nesta is particular.”

“You don’t have to tell me that,” she smiled and Azriel felt stupid in the light of it. “She deserves it, though, so I’ll be on time.”

Azriel nodded. “Cassian doesn’t. He’s still a bastard.”

She smiled again. “Best man?”

“Yup.”

Gwyn grinned. “Maid of honor. I guess we’ll be spending more time together.”

Hell yes.

“Lucky me, Gwyn,” he replied smoothly, privately delighted when she grinned ear to ear. 

“And here I was thinking you didn’t remember my name.”

“I saw Guys and Dolls,” he told her. That was true—Cassian had dragged both him and Rhys because Nesta had some small part and he had just started dating her. “You were Lola.”

Gwyn beamed, an absurd thing given that had been ten years ago.

“What do you do now?”

“Teach,” she replied easily. “College history. What about you?”

“Mechanic,” he replied, wondering if that made him look dumb. “I’ve got a bunch of shops.”

“Oh yeah! Emerie mentioned that, I totally forgot. How cool,” she said without an ounce of smug superiority. Azriel relaxed. Sometimes women liked to act like he was beneath them or they were doing him a favor just because he’d skipped out on college.

“Do you have a good seat?” she asked him. Azriel shook his head.

“I procrastinated. I’m in a middle seat.”

“Sit with me,” she offered. “It’ll make me feel like less of a loser and, as a bonus, you can have an aisle seat.”

Azriel pressed his lips together, eyebrows raised. “Awfully generous of you.”

“You can pay me back later by getting shit face drunk with me when we’re up in the air. We’ll need it given we’re across from Nesta and Cassian. They’re trying to join the mile high club.”

“Jesus Christ,” Azriel swore with a chuckle. “He doesn’t fit in one of those bathrooms.”

Gwyn nodded. “You’d be doing me a huge favor. No one will ask me about Jonathon.”

Jonathan. “Am I allowed to ask?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Maybe a little vodka will change your mind.”

She laughed. “I’ll take that wager.”

Competitive. He liked that. Azriel’s eyes swept over the terminal, catching on Nesta’s for just a moment. She was watching him, some unreadable expression on her face. Did she think he was up to something? Gwyn was nice and he was bored. He could make a friend, surely.

He shot Nesta a look back, one he hoped communicated he wasn’t up to anything nefarious, before turning back to Gwyn.

“If you get shitfaced, don’t ask me to carry your bags for you.”

“It’s gonna be you that’s shitfaced,” she shot back. “This is a nine hour flight. I’ve got nothing but time to drink you stupid.”

“Too late, Gwyn. I’m already stupid.”

She laughed, head thrown back, face filled with amusement. Fuck, but Azriel would have given anything to hear her laugh like that again. It was just a little pre-vacation magic, that was all. 

And Azriel desperately needed a little fun. 

GWYN:

True to her word, Nesta and Cassian were making out before everyone was even on board. Azriel was beside her, shoving his bag overhead since Nesta and Cassian’s things had to join their overhead bin. It was two spacious seats—big enough she could have curled her legs against Jonathon’s if she wanted to. 

She didn’t dare look at Azriel’s, stretched impossibly long into the seat in front of them. He was in basketball shorts and a plain white t-shirt. It ought to have looked sloppy at best but with a face like his, he made it look like runway. He ran a broad hand through his thick, dark hair before turning to look at her with exasperation.

“Told you,” she said, pleased to be right. 

“Trade me,” he replied, as if Gwyn would ever give up a window seat. If the plane was going to crash, Gwyn needed to be able to watch the entire time. She could be a control freak that way.

Shaking her head, Gwyn pushed closer to her open window, looking down at the people in neon yellow vests loading up the luggage. She caught sight of her buttery yellow bag moments before it vanished. Good. This was a non-stop flight and she didn’t want to lose her bag. 

She relaxed into her seat. 

“Nope.”

“Tell me about Jonathon.”

She almost choked. As if she was going to tell Azriel, a literal Greek God come to life, anything about Jonathon. Everyone was dying to know and Gwyn had told a little white lie to keep her friends off her back. He dumped me meant everyone offered sympathy and generally didn’t bring him up.

I dumped him because he wanted to get married sounded a lot worse. It made her sound like a bitch even to her own ears. It was just…Jonathon was so pretentious, thought he was better than everyone because he had a PhD in literature, of all fucking things. He couldn’t write to save his life, despite talking about being a writer all the time. And Gwyn was tired of listening to self-aggrandizing lectures, his endless philosophizing, his moralizing. 

Case and point—Jonathon would never have agreed to get drunk on a plane with her. And if he’d caught Cassian and Nesta making out? He would have complained endlessly about how common people were. He couldn’t just have fun.

Scratch that. He wouldn’t have fun. And as the wedding drew closer, Gwyn panicked. She wanted a laid back vacation and when the words marriage came out of Jonathon’s lips, she’d asked to break up. She’d have to face the music and tell Nesta and Emerie eventually. Just not now.

Not when Emerie was showing off her new relationship with Mor and Nesta was focused on her impending nuptials. Gwyn could spend two weeks with her bare ass in the sand getting drunk in the sun and no one could stop her.

“Don’t ask me about Jonathon,” Gwyn replied easily. Azriel smiled—smirked, really—and she wished he wouldn’t. She’d forgotten all about her high school crush on him until she’d seen him in the airport. Azriel was aging like fine wine. He was absurdly attractive, more masculine than he’d ever been at eighteen. He was all broad muscle and smooth, brown skin set against the most incredible bone structure. And when his hazel eyes fell on her, Gwyn wanted to melt into her chair. 

“C’mon,” he cajoled. “If you can’t tell a total stranger something this personal, who can you tell?”

She started to respond, but the captain’s announcements and the stewardess silenced them both. Even Cassian and Nesta pulled apart long enough to watch the safety procedures. Azriel didn’t say another word to her until they were up in the air and that same stewardess was offering drinks. “Vodka sprite,” Azriel said easily, nodding towards Gwyn. “And jack and coke.”

“Are you ordering for me?” she demanded, wondering what it said about her that he’d guessed right.

“We can swap if you want,” was his easy reply. Gwyn had to look beyond him at Cassian and Nesta, back to kissing again. She didn’t know which was worse. 

Gwyn took her soda and her little mini bottles, shooting one back just as quickly as she could get the plastic red cap off. Azriel watched, mouth agape.

“Am I that bad of company?” he asked her, his tone laced with amusement. 

“Jonathon was an asshole,” she said, dumping the other little bottle into her plastic cup. “He wanted to get married.”

“Oh God. Not married,” Azriel teased. “I can see why that would be horrifying.”

“He was arrogant,” she tried to explain, unsure why it mattered if Azriel knew at all. “He thought he was better than everyone else and he never would have dated me if he thought I was smarter and that bothered me.”

“You need to be smarter than your boyfriend?” Azriel questioned, pushing open his soda with long fingers. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

“No,” she said a shade too breathlessly. “But I don’t want someone dating me because they think I’m not as smart.”

“Ah, gotcha. So you dumped him?”

“It’s our secret, Az,” she informed him in her bossiest tone. “If Nesta finds out, she’ll try and set me up with one of her friends when we get back and they’re all lawyers.”

“Another unforgivable crime,” Azriel said with mock graveness. She watched, teeth biting her bottom lip, as he took a drink. She could have been eighteen again, if eighteen year old her had been able to string together six words to say to him. 

“I just want two weeks of uninterrupted fun,” Gwyn said, taking her own drink if only to calm her nerves. The rushing air of the plane was soothing, settling some of her nerves while the alcohol made her warm. 

“No strings attached fun? My specialty,” Azriel replied with an easy smile. God, she bet it was. “I’m single too, you know.”

“So is Feyre,” Gwyn was stupid to reply. Azriel scoffed.

“She’s been fucking Rhys for years.”

Gwyn gaped. “Does Nesta know?”

He shrugged. “I don’t partake in the gossip, I only know what Rhys tells me–”

“That’s the literal definition of gossiping,” she informed him. He shook his head, rolling his eyes.

“It’s engaging in a fact based discussion. I know more about naked Archerons than I ever wanted to.”

She didn’t bother asking if he’d ever gotten with Elain. She was very married, curled against Lucien’s shoulder just two rows back. It didn’t matter. 

“Well, if it helps, Nesta once sent us all a picture of Cassian’s penis so we could see it.”

“God, okay, that’s worse,” Azriel agreed with a strangled laugh. “Never do that to me.”

“How would I—”

He turned in his seat, holding his nearly empty cup. “You want no strings fun, right? And to keep your friends off your back? Hello, my name is Azriel. I’m your man these next two weeks.” God, she was going to puke. There was no way he was being serious. 

“That’s not what I meant,” she said before throwing back the rest of her drink. 

He shrugged those broad shoulders. “It doesn’t have to be like that. I’m not immune to Nesta’s antics, you know. Her lawyer friends are…”

“Stuck up?” Gwyn guessed. 

Azriel laughed. “Something like that. It could be pretend but if we’re being honest, I’d like it if it wasn’t.”

Oh God, oh God. She licked her lips. She was hallucinating. The plane was spiraling towards the earth and she’d blacked out due to lack of oxygen. He was—

“We could beat Nesta and Cassian to that bathroom,” he added, watching her carefully. Gauging, she realized. 

Gwyn swallowed. She couldn’t believe she was entertaining this. If he’d been anyone else she would have laughed in his face. “There should be rules.”

“Hit me with them,” he said agreeably, his focus wholly on her. 

“Just two weeks. Nothing else,” she breathed, wondering if the sex would live up to her now active imagination. Surely something had to give. He was compensating somewhere, she bet. Small dick, a quick fuck. She’d do this and he’d disappoint her and she’d be able to relax.

“Works for me.”

“We tell no one that this means nothing,” she added. 

“Who would I tell? My friends aren’t exactly lining up to talk to me.”

“If we get caught I’ll blame this on you.”

“Harsh but I’ll take it. C’mon. Come to the bathroom with me.”

“You know all the right things to say,” she replied dryly. 

But she was going to do it, damn her. 

AZRIEL:

Maybe Nesta was right to be suspicious of him. She was still sucking face with Cassian three hours into the flight. The lights were off, shades closed and the stewardesses had retreated. He and Gwyn had been talking and watching a movie, waiting for the right moment. He’d never done this before and his heart was pounding. If they got caught he was sure they’d be banned and how the fuck would he get home, then? By boat? 

He was willing to risk it. Stretching his legs, Azriel slid into the aisle and walked past rows of sleeping people for the bathroom. It wasn’t as small as he’d thought it would be but was hardly big enough to do anything but hold her up against the sink and fuck her stupid. Maybe, he’d be able to get on his knees and eat her out, but that seemed like it was pushing it. 

He kept the door unlocked and when it pulled open, Gwyn slid right in like she was utterly alone.

“Did anyone see you?” he asked breathlessly.

“Nope,” she replied, so deliciously close he could smell the soft, sweet smell of whatever shampoo she wore wafting off her.

“Good,” he whispered, reaching for her face. He knew they had to be somewhat quick and yet he needed to kiss her, to grope just a little. Otherwise she wouldn’t be wet and it wouldn’t be fun for her. Two weeks of easy pussy was the best deal Azriel ever made. 

Gwyn kissed him back, hands at her sids at that first touch. 

Hurry up, motherfucker, his cock screamed at him. Grumbling to himself, Azriel used that moment to reach beneath her cute ass and haul her up against the sink. Her legs wrapped around his waist, squeezing just enough to make his eyes roll in his head. He was semi-hard just at the thought of fucking on the plane but now he was nearly fully erect.

His tongue swept into her mouth as she slid her hands beneath his shirt, feeling the muscle just beneath. Women liked that which was good, because Azriel liked pleasing women. He swallowed the urge to be noisy in favor of palming her breast through her shirt and bra. 

No time, hurry up.

Gwyn seemed to be thinking the same, yanking his shorts off his hips. She broke the kiss to look, those big teal eyes widening at the sight of his thick, large cock. He couldn’t suppress a grin even as he said, “Hips up, baby.”

She did, letting him shimmy her out of her leggings and striped pink underwear. She was nearly bare save for a neatly trimmed strip of copper hair he immediately wanted to put his face in. There was no way he’d fit, not even if he knelt sideways.

“I’m gonna eat that pussy when we land,” he told her, kissing against her jaw while using his thumb to rub against her clit. She’d taken the base of his cock, stroking it in her soft, small hand.

He just barely fit and the sight was doing it for him. 

“All men say that,” she replied, challenge sparking in her eyes. 

“Trust me,” he whispered, digging out the condom he had in his wallet to roll it over his cock. She was slick enough and he hardly had the time to see her drenched. Six hours and they’d be at the resort Vanserra set up. He’d find her room and put that pretty body on his face for hours. 

“Fuck,” he groaned, pushing himself into her. She gasped, nails digging through the fabric of his shirt. “You’re fucking tight.”

She took a breath, licking the side of his neck. Gwyn began nipping little bites before soothing over his skin, the sensation driving him wild. He wanted to fuck this woman with the proper space. There was no time for regret, not when he was seated in her. One palm braced on the sink, Azriel thrust into her tight, wet pussy while his other hand when back to rubbing at her clit. He’d feel her come or he’d get banned from flying ever again.

“That’s it,” he praised when her skin began to flush the prettiest shade of pink. “You fuck my cock so well, baby.”

She curled a hand at the nape of his neck, threading her fingers through his hair to tug. Her breath and the wet slap of their skin was the only sound Azriel could hear as he prayed no one walked by. There would be no denying what was happening in here.

She was panting. “So needy,” he praised, his release pooling in the base of his shaft. “Are you going to come all over my cock, baby? Make a mess of me.”

“Oh, God,” she whispered, arching against him. She tightened and Azriel sped up, thrusting into her roughly, chasing the building pleasure until he was nearly delirious with it. Azriel pressed his mouth against hers, privately impressed he was keeping his rhythm despite all the things he was trying to do with his body. 

Gwyn bit his bottom lip hard, causing him to clench his ass to keep from coming. He was so fucking close, needed to push her over that ledge, too. Gwyn panted, kissing him frantically. He felt her come apart—her clit shuddered against his thumb while her pussy convulsed against him with wave after wave after wave, milking his own release from his aching cock. He jerked into her, pushing further until there was nowhere to go. 

If that's what she felt with a condom on, how would she feel without one? He didn’t think he wanted to know. Still, he kissed her again and again, until his pulsating heart stopped throbbing in his balls and he could pull out of her without wanting to die.

“Good?” he asked her, cupping her face.

“Good,” she agreed. She was quick to pull up her pants and adjust her shirt, look herself over in the mirror before walking right out as if he wasn’t standing right there with a half hard dick wrapped in a filled condom. He admired her confidence. 

Closing the door quickly, Azriel found a little trash can. He wrapped the condom up in a layer of toilet paper, yanked up his own pants, and washed his hands before emerging a respectable amount of time later. Anyone watching them carefully might realize what had happened.

And lucky for them, no one was. When he returned, wobbling against the rocking plane, Gwyn was curled back up, eyes on a new movie starting on the screen in front of her. Azriel grabbed one of the earbuds and jammed it into his own, plopping into his seat with a groan. He’d be asleep in ten minutes if he was lucky.

“Don’t forget,” he murmured, leaning his head close to hers. 

Gwyn smiled.

“I won’t.” 

[legit9thlunaticwarrior]

alright, the kid stole my heart. let’s do some taylor swift songfic magic

|remember to leave feedback and i love all you heathens|

‘Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince’ Hook (Tyler) x fem!reader

^they grew up together. did everything together, even had a joint debut. but one day, her feelings bubbled over^

- taylor got so much gud gud for inspo my dudes - donna projecting and daydreaming again, dw abt it - i hate the concept of adults being like ‘oh theyd make such a cute couple’ with kids but for the sake of this fic, im letting it slide - also for shits and giggles, he played high school football - Y/F/N - your friend’s name - powerhouse hobbs (will) and i call taz mr. s

Y/N POV:

You know I adore you I'm crazier for you Then I was at sixteen Lost in a film scene Waving homecoming queens Marching band playing I'm lost in the lights

From the moment we met, I felt my heart rate rise anytime he was around me. Even when we were little, other parents and teachers said we would grow up to be together. Tyler and I had always been glued to each other since age four. We always got put in the same classes all throughout our school years; and when we got to high school, I always wore his jersey number on my cheek as I cheered him on with the rest of the cheer squad during his football games. 

 American glory Faded before me Now I'm feeling hopeless Ripped up my prom dress Running through rose thorns I saw the scoreboard And ran for my life

When the senior prom rolled around, we went with who we were dating at that point. Truthfully, I wanted to go with him but I couldn’t risk our bond. What I didn’t know is that Peter would ditch me for another girl halfway through the occasion. Tyler found me in the hallway by the lockers bawling my eyes out, “Y/N? Buzzy, what happened?” He rushed to sit beside me and held me close. “Peter dumped me.” He kissed the top of my head, “I’ll fucking break his face.” Since we started wrestling training together, his confidence grew. “Why were you looking for me? What happened to Alexa?” He laughed, “Turns out she doesn’t swing that way. No hard feelings though, the want to end it was mutual. I came out here because Y/F/N said you ran out in a rush.” We stayed sitting by the lockers until Tyler got up and helped me to my feet,  “Y/N, since we are now both dateless, how would you like to accompany me to prom?” I blushed and gave the obvious answer: “Of course Tyler! I would love to!” We went back in and danced like nothing happened.

No cameras catch my pageant smile I counted days, I counted miles To see you there To see you there It's been a long time coming but

We finally had our All Elite Wrestling debuts. As much as I would have liked to tag with him like we did before, I was so proud to see him in his element. After winning my match against Britt, I got to watch his. He came out victorious as usual and when we met back in the Team Taz locker room, I jumped onto his back. “I’m so proud of you T!” I congratulated him then kissed his cheek before getting down. “You did it too Buzzy. You beat Britt Baker!” Then, Tyler’s dad came over to us, “Both of you were stellar. Y/N, you have some of the greatest ring awareness I’ve ever seen.” “Thank you Mr. S, I learned from the best.” He kissed my cheek and left. He was always like another father to me; so when he suggested I join Team Taz, I couldn’t say no.

It's you and me That's my whole world They whisper in the hallway, "she's a bad, bad girl" (okay!) The whole school is rolling fake dice You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes It's you and me There's nothing like this Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince (okay!) We're so sad, we paint the town blue Voted most likely to run away With you

As our careers at AEW progressed, I was established as an important part of Team Taz. Provide distractions, take over the women’s division; both of which I did well. I was the only one in the group that no one knew where I stood: Heel or Babyface? We used it to our advantage, until Sammy Guevara and Tay Conti decided to run their mouths. That I was probably just a hot piece of ass getting passed around in the group. After that shot, Tyler and I had enough and we got our first match together. 

My team is losing Battered and bruising I see the high fives Between the bad guys Leave with my head hung You are the only one Who seems to care

This was so important to the two of us but probably for me more. I felt this need deep down inside that I needed to prove myself. I belong in this company and with the team. The match was going great and Tyler and I were so close to the win, until Sammy yelled to me from ringside, “You’re just gonna get replaced once they see you’re worthless in this business-” Tay took the opportunity to go for the roll up and got the pin. The two ran up the ramp while Tyler came into the ring and knelt beside me as the rest of the group came out. I couldn’t hear the rest of the scolding as I got up and left the ring to go to the locker room and change. I was about to just leave after I got my stuff until Tyler came in, “Buzzy, I know one of them said something. Talk to me.” 

And I don't want you to (go) I don't really wanna (fight) 'Cause nobody's gonna (win) I think you should come home

If we weren’t attached at the hip already, after what happened in the ring, he was even more close to me. It had gotten to a point where I brought up me leaving Team Taz. “Y/N, no.” I knew he was serious because he never used my name, I was always Buzzy, “You deserve to be here. And I don’t want you to go.” I sighed. “I don’t really wanna fight, Tyler. ’Cause nobody’s gonna win.”  He had decided that the crowd tonight would convince me to stay. The team was in the ring and Mr. S brought up the situation. The crowd chanted for me not to leave, “I think you should come home. They want you with us. I, want you with us Buzzy.” He spoke into the mic; something that felt more special than it seemed. He handed the mic to his dad and pulled me closer so only I could hear what he said next, “I can’t do this without my high school sweetheart.” He put his hands on my face gently and kissed me. It felt like fireworks went off and we were floating above the whole arena. When he pulled away “I love you Buzzy. I always have. Stay?” I nodded. Will yelled into his mic, “She’s staying!” “Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince are official!” Ricky added. Tyler wrapped his arm around me and leaned down, “Does that mean you’re my girlfriend?” I kissed him again “Does that answer your question?”

We were cuddling in our hotel room when I finally asked him after all these years, “Tyler why do you call me Buzzy?” He smiled showing off those dimples that make my heart thump. “Once when we were at the park, a bumblebee had landed on your hand. You didn’t even flinch; you made it your friend. We had to be ten years old but that might’ve been the moment you stole my heart.” “Well now, It's you and me There’s nothing like this. I love you too T.”

~~~~~~~

lovely taglist babes (dm or comment to be added) @josiewrites @rubyred1980 @chrisdickinson @xkennyxomegax​

[pepperonidk]

seventeen as high school activities

pairing: none, just ot13 genre: high school!au wordcount: i’ll check tomorrow, i’m on mobile warnings: none!

a/n: these are very much american high school based, since that’s all i’ve ever known

seungcheol: captain of the varsity football team

this is kind of self explanatory, s coups has major jock himbo energy and he reminds me of the nice football players i knew in high school. he would always ask you for answers on last night’s statistics homework but 100% always repays you with a pastry and iced coffee every morning as gratitude. takes his classes pretty seriously and makes sure his teammates do too bc coach says if they fail a class they’re gonna get benched. probably also organizes team bonding activities on weekends. goes to IHOP after every game. (secretly thinks theatre kids are misunderstood… wants to sing at said IHOP)

jeonghan: student medic

ok i hope this wasn’t specific to my high school, but tell me you don’t see jeonghan as a student medic. :| any time someone (mingyu) gets injured he’s there to take care of them. the only person the football team trusts to treat them, and they say he has an angel’s touch. he always gets such a bad rap for being chaotic but we all know he’s such a caring person and i promise i only thought about this concept a normal amount. i definitely did not sob over how soft jeonghan is.

joshua: choir boy (exclusively show choir. not to be confused with glee club)

my high school had this thing where choir members would perform with a band and they would do pop songs and it was definitely the least cringey way to perform said pop songs. i think since joshua plays guitar he was an automatic shoo-in for the group. he adamantly fought against joining until they told him he could perform sunday morning by maroon 5. it is now a condition that he plays it at every concert. most of the freshmen start believing he wrote that song and they praise him for his songwriting abilities.

jun: colorguard

in this house we respect the flag. aka the sparkly glittery flag that jun tosses around the football field like a badass. he gets all of the dramatic solos in every marching band show because he’s the colorguard captain’s favorite member. insanely acrobatic and artful. rumor has it he made the head drum major cry once at a football game. every year the band director tries to recruit him to stay and learn an instrument but every year jun refuses and no one hears from him again for the rest of the school year until the next football season. there’s a rumor being spread that he doesn’t even go here. but he does.

soonyoung: colorguard captain

honestly, he joined by mistake. he thought colorguard was a sport, played like capture the flag. but once he realized it was basically dance but you can throw things and wear pretty costumes, he was hooked. he also recruited his friend jun to join and they both loved it. one time the band played eye of the tiger and soonyoung fought for his life to wear a tiger costume rather than the costumes they were supposed to wear. when the director said no, he did it anyway. he didn’t get in trouble. in fact the director decided to integrate it into the program.

wonwoo: football team… but also esports club

yes he’s in the football team during the fall semester but as soon as football season is done, his after school hours are spent with the esports team at the local gaming cafe. i hate to say it besties but he probably plays league of legends. /: but during football season, he serves as seungcheol’s second in command, mostly helping him to plan out smaller events like study nights for the team and even helps his teammates with their college applications. the resident football team tutor. he really is just a nerd in disguise and i have to say he is my ideal man.

jihoon: head drum major

this is so obvious y’all. as a Former Band Kid™️ myself (unfortunately), i can attest to this idea that jihoon would be THE best drum major. he’s somehow both insanely threatening and scary to freshmen but also the kindest and most helpful person in the band. he started out doing percussion but he has a very solid understanding of music theory in general and likes to help people out with the music. one time a freshman joked a little too loudly that he was too short to be drum major and jihoon made him run 20 laps with the metronome on. no one ever said anything again. wears aviator sunglasses to every practice and carries extra chalk in a little pouch for people to mark spots.

minghao: head of the yearbook committee

if minghao is the head of the yearbook committee you can bet your ASS that every page will be thoroughly inspected for spelling errors, grammar errors, and aesthetic errors. not a single page goes unchecked by him, and if it doesn’t fit the theme of that year’s yearbook, you’re starting over. the yearbook is so popular every year that he gets dozens of applications to join the staff but he only ever selects 1-2 people a year. his yearbook staff is for the elite. it’s a finely tuned process that he has earned the right to brag about creating. no deadlines are missed. not here. he’s so intense about it that he’s also somehow become insanely popular for it. every year he gets so many requests to sign yearbooks that he just bought a stamp with his signature on it.

mingyu: ex-football team, current nerd (affectionate)

mingyu is a jock-turned-nerd. he was co-captain of the football team until his last year when he suddenly decided to quit football and take as many AP classes as possible to boost his gpa. the football team still considers him an honorary member… since he never left the group chat and no one had the heart to kick him out. but they don’t mind since he brings fresh cooked meals that he makes in class to the football teams practices. he delivers the food and sits on the bleachers and does homework while watching them practice. assists wonwoo in tutoring their teammates. he specializes in math. likes to host charcuterie parties at his house.

seokmin: theatre boy, and writer for the newspaper

hehe he’s a theatre kid and i’m obsessed with the idea of it. idk why theatre kids get such a bad rap, they’re so talented?? anyway i digress. seokmin is a front runner for the male lead in every production. the sharpay evans of his high school. the choir teacher has been recruiting him for years but he doesn’t want to be in choir. he will however sing backup for joshua. he also writes a review for the school paper where he reviews local pizza chains every week. he does it anonymously however, and goes by the name pizzaboi but mostly everyone knows it’s him.

seungkwan: choir boy, student medic

he was recruited into both of these activities by joshua and jeonghan respectively, but he’s glad they did. at first the two had placed a bet on which of their organizations he would join, and when he found out about it, he joined both and made them split the profit with him. they both knew then… he was perfect. he’s being raised to lead both organizations and knowing seungkwan, he can handle the challenge. at every choir concert he picks a different beyoncé song and people started calling him boo-yoncé. he says it’s not getting to his head, but it definitely is. joshua calls him thomas to humble him.

vernon: photographer for the yearbook

if you see vernon near you with a camera, you know you’re in for a blast. turns every picture into something artsy. minghao says it’s camp. he could be there to photograph the mock trial team for the mock trial post but on the final cut of the yearbook you’ll see a skeleton photoshopped into a picture of one of the mock trial members asleep on the bus, and everyone will wonder why they had never gotten the metaphor. truth does sleep on justice. vernon doesn’t know how to tell everyone that he’s just seeing how far he can go before someone says his photographs are just random things he turned into minghao. he tried to tell minghao but he didn’t believe him. everyone thinks he’s a poetic genius. one teacher tried to submit his work for a Pulitzer prize. the reply said “this is an onion holding up a trash can… just because it’s black and white doesn’t make it art”

chan: youngest member of varsity football

he made it onto varsity his freshman year because he was so talented at the sport. by sophomore year he was the starting quarterback. truly believes he’s going to make history one day (he probably will), but the older members on the team tease him about it all the time. they call him the baby dinosaur because he’s the youngest, but he’s fierce on the field. the school hasn’t lost a single game since he’s been on the team. (except that one time he got benched for failing a physics test). seungcheol gave him hell for that and he never failed another test. he’s spent the most time in tutoring with wonwoo and mingyu.

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (March 17/2021) - Ranboo’s Story

Everyone is building on the Dream SMP today. Phil works on his projects in the Arctic, Foolish continues construction on the massive mansion, Niki works on her underground city.

Ranboo takes some time to do something else: tell his entire story as it stands so far, in preparation for what’s to come.

---

VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Hbomb94

Foolish

Tubbo

Philza

Ranboo

Hannah

Niki

---

- Ponk meets Niki at the Community House. She notices his red eyes.

- Niki leads Ponk to her haven city for a tour. Ponk thinks it’s a pyramid scheme. Maybe a cult.

- Ponk asks if there’s a jail in this city.What happens if someone does something bad? Niki explains that they just get thrown out. She’s friends with some powerful people.

Ponk: “Look. With friends come conflict, Niki. Just remember that. Wilbur was Tommy’s friend, look what happened! ...So I’d be careful who you trust. But I may be coming back here soon, maybe to join you.”

- Ponk says his goodbyes and leaves the city. Definitely a cult. 

- Tubbo visits Michael and decides to plan out what rooms he wants for the mansion. He speaks with Foolish to discuss the layout.

- Tubbo and Foolish work on the mansion

- Hbomb logs in and chats with Niki as she works on the underground city.

- Phil works on the Syndicate room.

- Ranboo shows Phil the infested stone he collected

- Quackity whispers to Phil “Look Gorgious” and leaves

- Phil keeps working. Foolish calls him over to Snowchester.

- Foolish tells Phil the mansion is for Michael and Phil points out Michael is tiny.

- Foolish shows him the list of requests

- Phil gives Foolish “fool’s gold” (honey)

- Phil visits Foolish and puts on his canonical glasses (shaders)

- They go back to the Prime Path and put on creeper heads to become Sam.

- They briefly visit L’manhole and Phil tells Foolish he used to live there.

- They go scouting around Eret’s castle and then head back to the Arctic.

- Before Foolish can come into Phil and Techno’s territory, Phil asks Foolish how he feels about government. Foolish says he’s neither pro nor anti. He’s never been a part of a government, since all that ended before he joined the server.

- Foolish does his shift dance. Phil throws him some real gold.

- Foolish leaves and Phil continues working

- Phil does acid (shaders) in L’manburg

- He explores the bottom of the crater. Phil feels no regret about what happened.

People can’t be replaced, but things can. As someone who’s been around for a long time, who’s seen people pass over hundreds of years, people are so much more important than possessions as a result of that.

- He’s lived for so long he’s forgotten for how long, but at least hundreds of years.

- Phil’s known Techno since Techno was young.

- Foolish returns to the mansion. He speaks with Tubbo about the layout again.

- Foolish commits arson on James

- Niki accidentally dug into the Kinoko Kingdom library while working on her city. It will either be the spark of a beautiful friendship, or a war.

- Her Syndicate name is Nemesis

- After more work in the Nether, Phil goes to Niki’s underground city for a visit.

- Niki gives him a tour, and Phil drops off the quartz

---

Ranboo’s Lore Recap: The Story So Far

---

Ranboo logs in at Spawn. He went outside, punched some trees, got killed by Dream a couple times (non-canonically), got a tour from Niki.

The next day, he got a tour from the President of L’manburg, who asked if he was going to run for President. Ranboo decided to live in L’manburg. He shaped Ranboo’s beliefs at the beginning, that L’manburg was good. They went to the Nether and found Michael, and put him in a boat.

Then, they were approached by Tommy, who told them about his plan: to grief George’s house. As they walked over, Niki and Puffy (on their date) were there. Ranboo and Tommy asked for Niki’s armor and went over to George’s house to do it. They ran off after burning it down by accident.

Niki and Puffy knew it was them and asked, but Ranboo realized…he didn’t remember. 

Dream started building a wall around L’manburg, and they didn’t know why. He showed them George’s house. It got blamed on Tommy. 

During the trial, Tommy stood up for Ranboo and so Ranboo didn’t take the blame, as he had bad memory.

They decided to meet with Dream and created the Meeting Hall, and for the meeting, Ranboo became the minutes man of L’manburg.

There was a pig guy watching them during the meeting.

The meeting didn’t go well; Tommy used Spirit as leverage to get Dream to take down the walls, but then Dream stopped and told them he didn’t care about Spirit, only the discs.

There was another meeting set up. Ranboo realized writing stuff down to remember it was a good idea, so he created the first “Do Not Read” book. 

He watched from the ground as the cabinet met with Dream on the wall. Ranboo saw Tommy being taken away for some reason — he’d been exiled. Ranboo felt guilty.

Back in L’manburg, things were going great! Ranboo had a house now, pets…but the guilt remained. Ranboo visited Tommy in exile a couple times, and things seemed off, so Ranboo wrote letters to him to try and help.

One day, while writing in his book, starting an ice cream shop with Fundy…he was approached by this fellow named Quackity. Quackity told him about this wanted pig guy, Technoblade, the reason everything was gone — Techno was a traitor, and Quackity had plans to get Techno and bring him to justice. 

The first Butcher Army meeting was held. Ranboo was a bit confused, but decided to help, because betraying someone’s pretty bad. So they all went off to fight Technoblade. Quackity got a horse named Carl, and Techno surrendered, and though Ranboo thought there’d be a fair trial, there was just an execution. Techno miraculously survived, ran off, and Quackity was killed.

While this was happening, Phil — who had saved him from lava one time when he was trapped — was apparently helping Techno, the traitor. So L’manburg put him on house arrest, and he wasn’t happy about that. Ghostbur called Ranboo an “Aaron Burr” and went with Ranboo on a trip to then snow…to Techno’s place.

Ranboo still had Techno’s armor, Techno tried to kill him, then Ranboo gave all his armor back. Someone else was there was well — Tommy.

Ranboo wrote all of this down in his Memory Book and returned to L’manburg, told them that he had no idea where Techno or Tommy were…at which point Ranboo realized…he’d just betrayed the entire Butcher Army.

The next few days, Ranboo kept seeing Techno and Tommy around with a lot of dogs. He continued to write things down, being kind of on both sides. Ranboo decided he couldn’t choose and instead would help everyone. 

Things were going fine. L’manburg was planning a Festival to kill Dream, as Dream would finally respect the laws of L’manburg and attend with no armor. Ranboo made a trident game.

At some point, Ranboo created a fake memory book that got burnt by Skeppy around Christmas during Skeppy’s sister’s visit.

Before the Festival, Ranboo realized he’d lost his Memory Book. He found it in a chest…but that wasn’t where he’d put it. How did it get there?

Ranboo created a panic room out of obsidian, a place to reckon with his morals, a place to think. The water created white noise that helped him think. It was there that he decided to stop choosing sides, and start choosing people.

The day of the Festival, Ranboo secretly met with Techno and Tommy in Purpled’s Skull Base. Dream arrived and started building the wall again.

Dream led them all over to the Community House, and they all saw that it was completely destroyed. It was apparently Techno and Tommy, who shortly arrived. Tommy and Tubbo fought, Dream asked for Techno’s help to blow up L’manburg the next day. Then, Dream told them that Ranboo was a traitor. He gave Tubbo a little book — the first Memory Book.

Ranboo thought he had the Memory Book on him. How could it have been switched? He opened up the one he had, but…all that was left was a smile. And that smile symbolized his betrayal. This was the second Memory Book, the replacement.

At the announcement of Doomsday, everyone somewhat banded together. Ranboo gave a speech, that if they kept trying to save L’manburg, it would just keep causing problems. People were looking at Ranboo, the eye contact made him aggravated, he lashed out at his friends.

He went back to the Panic Room, started talking to himself, thinking about what he would do. Would he help or not? It was at that point that he began to hear something — something that was Ranboo…a voice. A voice that sounded like Dream. It told Ranboo the last thing he wanted to hear: that by trying to help everyone, he’d betrayed everyone. Ranboo didn’t believe him, thought he’d only given the armor to Techno. The voice left, and Ranboo decided the best thing he could do was help. Help the people who helped him: L’manburg.

  He was still missing something: the first Memory Book.

It was time for Doomsday. The dogs, the Withers, the explosions all started, and L’manburg went. The people who’d been for L’manburg suddenly switched. But out of all of this, Ranboo heard something. He heard Techno ask, “What’s this ‘Do Not Read’ book?”

Ranboo ran to Techno, who gave it to him and told him to run. Techno showed him mercy.

Ranboo talked with Fundy after, he’d hurt Fundy. Ranboo talked with Quackity, who seemed to forgive him, because he’d read Ranboo’s Memory Book. He’d been the one to have the book, and he read it.

Ranboo visited the Panic Room, not knowing what to do…

Someone came and asked if he was okay: Phil. Phil offered him a home with himself and Techno, and they got along.

He thought he was safe, and everything was good, and that’s when he heard a disc: Mellohi, from someplace very far away. It was from the Panic Room, so he went back. He took out the disc, and an old friend came back: the voice. This time, the Dream voice told him that he was more of a traitor than he thought. It told him that he’d been helping Dream this entire time, he just didn’t remember. It told him he blew up the Community House. But the voice wasn’t Dream, Ranboo figured it was just a voice trying to fill the gaps between his memories. It told Ranboo to mine a block, behind which were two pieces of TNT.

Ranboo kept chilling with Techno and Phil, build himself a place to live. It was at this time that Tommy and Tubbo were planning on trying to get their discs back.

For a while, Ranboo lived in solitude. For the first time in a while, he was happy. He decided he was done living in fear of the Dream voice, and went to confront it, to tell it that there’s no way he helped Dream. The Dream voice told him he had one of the discs. Ranboo thought there was no way, so he went back to his house and searched, and dug up a chest with the Cat disc inside.

Ranboo realized that something was going on. He realized he’d been sleepwalking, of sorts. 

Something happened: Tommy and Tubbo were going to fight Dream. Everyone thought they were probably going to die, and…what happened after that?

Dream was put in prison, Ranboo started to be able to pick up blocks, and Ranboo decided to call this state: Enderwalking.

Everything seemed fine, besides the giant Egg. The prison was open for visitation, and Ranboo had a good idea: what if he visited Dream? Everything went normally, except Dream told him exactly what he didn’t want to hear: that apparently, he and Dream had been talking in his Enderwalk, and Ranboo was one of Dream’s best friends. Dream handed Ranboo his own Memory Book. The entire chest was full of Memory Books. The prison started to crumble, Dream disappeared and then…Ranboo guessed the entire visit had just been the Dream voice but…worse. He decided to keep his head down for the time.

Ranboo needed to visit the prison again, but for real this time, to actually get closure. He went up to Sam, made his way to the lobby, and told Sam it was his first time visiting — which he thought it was. Sam thought he was joking around. Sam told him that he’d visited before…the Enderwalk. Sam showed Ranboo the books, and they were written in Enderman.

Sam told Ranboo he had a book on him — Ranboo now had a third Memory Book, but there was nothing in the books about any visit.

There must have been a fourth book.

Ranboo, to this day, still does not know where that fourth book is. This fourth book…it wasn’t a Memory Book. It was a book of the Enderwalk.

So for the time being, Ranboo tried to work against the Enderwalk, but nothing worked. So…he was just kind of living. His beacon disappeared, his tools kept getting to low durability randomly. He didn’t know why. He just decided to stop getting involved in things and just keep living.

Ranboo visited Snowchester, he did cool things with Techno, he was happy. 

Then, he got married for tax reasons and decided to build a hotel to rival Tommy’s with Tubbo.

Then, one day, after saving Michael, after everything, they received news: Tommy had died. And Sam had just let it happen.

Another day, in his house, Ranboo decided he should just relax. He saw Niki outside and wondered what she was doing there. Techno offered him a place in an anarchist organization called the Syndicate. Ranboo decided to join, he told them that Tommy died.

Then Tommy was alive. Somehow he was alive.

Ranboo was brought to a room with two shrines and a hallway with a place for everyone's treasured items. He started to remember, started to hear things. Dream had a revive book. Tommy and Tubbo didn't die because everyone went there and saved them, but Ranboo didn't remember this.

Ranboo realized that Dream had to be stopped before he brought back the villains, and...then he'll finally be happy. He has Michael to protect now.

He was hanging around with Tubbo when they were approached by Tommy, who had the same idea. Ranboo agreed. They began to build a watchtower, Ranboo spoke with Ghostbur, who didn't seem like he wanted to go.

And now? Ranboo is trying to figure out a way to kill Dream. But there's also a larger issue to figure out.

He figures that Dream gave him a set of instructions while he visited the prison in the Enderwalk, and Ranboo needs to find a way to stop the Enderwalk.

It hasn't happened in a while, right? Maybe he already has.

So now, Ranboo is figuring out the Enderwalk and protecting Michael at all costs, even if he might have to lose a little bit of life…

And that is the story so far.

[This story was told as c!Ranboo — not really, but if Ranboo could collect his entire story and tell it. So some things have been left out.

For example, Sapnap giving Ranboo the message…]

---

Upcoming events remain the same.

[jaesqueso]

The Bachelorette: NCT edition - Ep. 7

The season of love is finally here! An interactive series where you’ll get to choose who goes home each week and ultimately who Y/N chooses in the end!

pairing: nct(ot23) x fem!reader

summary: For the first time a week goes smoothly without much drama but could this make the bachelorette’s decision even harder?

episode guide

word count: 4,902

warnings: mentions of alcohol (all responsible!)

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

Last week on the Bachelorette:

The big mystery remains in the air with no one willing to step forward and make a confession,

Nevertheless some bonds were strengthened while others are stopped to save a broken heart.

Unfortunately at the end of the rose ceremony a heart did get broken leaving a not so pleasant goodbye that startled everybody.

5 bachelors remain on this love quest but after tonight one of them will be going home.

Who will she choose? Who will she reject?

Find out on the Bachelorette!

-

“Hi everybody!” Chris Harrison walks into the guest house. “Excited for another week?”

They all cheer for new opportunities to amaze you and get closer to that last rose and your love.

“Great because things are about to change!”

The boys look around at each other, what does he mean change?

“So far each date, wether individual or in a group, gave you the opportunity to win a rose ahead of the ceremony and secure your spot here for another week to compete for Y/N’s love, Well from now on there are no more date roses.”

“What does that mean for us?” Taeyong asks the question that’s on everybody’s heads.

“That means give it your all on the dates and the cocktail party because all roses will now only be handed out on the ceremony.”

Mixed feelings run around the room.

“But since there are less and less of you there are also more opportunities for alone time with our beautiful bachelorette as there will be no more group dates. This week you’ll have 1 one-on-one date and 2 two-on-ones. But don’t worry, since no roses will be hand out before hand that also means no one will be sent home on the dates too.”

Breaths of relief come out of everybody’s mouths.

“Alright, enjoy your dates and I will see you at the rose ceremony!”

As Chris leaves, the siren his heard and all eyes focus on the TV.

I hope you’re all having as much fun in this journey as I am. And I think it’s time we celebrate.

The bachelors look intrigued.

Jeno and Jaemin, hope you’re excited to join me tomorrow!

“Yes!” The two boys high five happy to be paired together on a date with you, over the weeks they not only bond with you but also ended up growing closer to each other.

“Wait, you’re going to celebrate without us?” Yuta groans.

“I bet you’ll get to celebrate too in a few days.” Jaemin comforts him.

“And don’t forget one of us will still be going on an individual date this week.” Jaehyun looks between Yuta and Taeyong,

“That’s right!” Taeyong excitedly says.

-

The following day Jaemin and Jeno get ready and enter their ride that’s already waiting outside to meet you. They are taken to a near by city where a parade is about to start and that’s where you’re waiting for them in a pair of light washed jeans and a cute flowy top.

“Hi guys!” You greet them with a big smile. “I found us a great spot to watch the parade, shall we go?”

“Yes!” They say at the same time following you to a nice place by the fence where you had an amazing view.

They stood by your side as you watched the marching band, the decorated vehicles and the big balloons being pulled by the villagers. You explained the guys what the parade was about along with a little story of the city and they actually seemed more interested in what you had to say than the parade itself.

You start to feel shy having all their attention on you, their piercing gaze, beautiful smiles and light touches on your arms. These two have definitely touched your heart and you can’t even imagine how you’ll make a decision if it ever comes down to the two of them.

Once the parade is over the three of you walk around the streets exploring the city. Everywhere you look is decorated because of the festivities and you’re having a great time.

You then decide to stop by a grocery store to get some food to go and watch the concert in the park. After finding a nice place with a good stage view you all sit down on the grass.

The sun starts setting as the band begins playing a nice smooth tune that sets a very romantic ambience all around. You look at the two boys sitting next to you and you couldn’t be happier with the choice you made today, even without saying a word their presence just makes you feel so comfortable, you can imagine your life with either one of them at this point.

-

In the guest house Taeyong, Yuta and Jaehyun talk about the changes in the game.

“How do you feel about no more roses in advance?” Yuta asks.

“Honestly I don’t know how to feel.” Taeyong starts. “This could be good or bad.”

“It definitely makes me more nervous,” Yuta comments, “those date roses were very reassuring and you could relax a bit ahead of the ceremony.”

“Absolutely!” Taeyong continues. “I feel like I’m a little bit of an underdog here, we only started to really bond recently so having to wait until the end of the week really makes me anxious.”

“I think you’re making a big deal out of nothing.” Jaehyun steps in the conversation. “We just gotta keep working hard on the date and the cocktail party just like we did until now. If we’re still here, there’s still a chance.”

“I guess you’re right…” Taeyong says before he’s interrupted by the siren.

“Let’s see who’s next.” Jaehyun gets up as they walk to the living room.

It’s good to go out and celebrate but it’s also nice to have a more chill and relaxed time.

They wonder if this will be another two-on-one date or the individual one.

Sometimes I just like to get on my car and drive around. Yuta, I’d love for you to join me on that ride tomorrow.

The mentioned boy cheers on his seat.

“Well, that means it will be us fighting for her attention after.” Jaehyun taps Taeyong’s back.

“Bring it on.” Taeyong tries to sound excited but deep down he’s scared about his future here.

-

As the band finishes their last song the crowd claps including the three of you and with the last beat of the drums a loud pop is heard starting a wonderful firework show. Your eyes sparkle at the splashes of color in the sky and you feel a hand gently overlapping yours. You look to your left and see Jaemin still looking up at the sky as if his touch wasn’t making his heart beat faster just like yours.

“Wow, that was amazing!” Jeno says as the last explosion disappears in the air.

“It really was.” Jaemin agrees.

“I’m glad you two enjoyed it, I’m so happy I got to share this moment with you.” You smile brightly as you look at them,

You let your back fall into the grass and they lay down too.

“You should be up there.” Jeno comments pointing at the night sky that now shows all the beautiful stars.

“But then I’d outshine them all.” You tease.

“Ok, you’re right.” Jeno chuckles.

“I think you’re good right here, next to me.” Jaemin lightly squeezes your hand making you turn your face to him as he does the same.

“Hey hey, I’m here too ok?” Jeno playfully says as he lifts up his torso separating your hands making you all laugh at his jealousy.

You lay there for a while talking and observing the stars until you decide it’s time to go back. On the ride home you almost don’t want this day to end but you try to calm down your heart thinking about the other bachelors back at the guest house.

“Can I ask you a question?” Jeno says as you exit the car.

“Of course.” You’re impressed with how talkative he is today, he’s usually quiet around other the other guys but you believe it helps that he gets along so well with Jaemin. Whatever the reason is you’re happy he’s loosening up.

“If you had a rose to hand out today who would you give it to?” Jeno asks.

You chuckle as Jaemin hits the other boy in the arm.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” You wink. “Thank you for today guys, goodnight.”

“Thank you Y/N, goodnight.” They both say as you walk to the mansion.

“She would totally chose me.” Jeno says as he and Jaemin go back to the guest house.

“Right, keep dreaming!” Jaemin ruffles Jeno’s hair as they both laugh.

-

The next day a car horn is heard and all the boys go to the front of the guest house where they see you inside a convertible.

“You ready Yuta?” You call out.

“Oh I was born ready!” He almost runs to the vehicle taking the passenger seat.

“Bye guys!” You wave at the others as you step on the gas.

You drive pass the town, headed to the coast, feeling the warm air run through your hair. You tell Yuta how much you love the freedom of just driving around without a destination, observing the life around you without a plan. The sea breeze relaxes you as the low rays of sunshine embrace your skin.

You two sing along to the random songs that come on the radio, laughing at the misspelled lyrics and lines out of tune. Maybe your lonely car rides could be fulfilled with some good company like this.

You stop the car on the side of the road next to some picnic tables facing the sea. You both get out of the vehicle and you get a bag out of the trunk walking to one of the tables.

“Hungry?” You ask him.

“A lit bit yes.” He smiles taking a seat as you take out some bento boxes out of the bag making his eyes sparkle at the delicious food. “Wow! Did you prepare all this?”

“Yes I did.” You proudly state. “Let’s dig in!”

You start eating watching the sun slowly go down.

“This was really good Y/N, thank you.” Yuta complements the meal.

“You know,” you start saying, “it’s been a while since we went on a date just the two of us so I thought I’d make something familiar, a little birdie told me you like this type of food.”

“Oh yeah?” He grins. “That little bird seems to know me well, you should keep him around.”

You two laugh recalling a conversation you once had where you talked about food where he told you this.

“But I’m really glad you chose me for this date.” He continues. “I was starting to feel us drift apart and that’s the last thing I want.”

“I don’t want that either.” You reassure him. “I really like your company, Yuta, and I’m enjoying getting to know you.”

“Good to know.” He releases a relieved breath making you giggle.

“But the date is not over, I have one more thing planned for us.” You wiggle your eyebrows. “Shall we go?”

“Let’s go!”

He helps you pack everything and return to the car, driving off to your next destination.

-

Back in the guest house the dates are the focal point of the conversation.

“How did it go yesterday?” Jaehyun asks the two boys.

“It was really awesome.” Jeno cannot hide the excitement that still runs through his body.

“It really was, Y/N has done a great job planning these dates.” Jaemin agrees. “You know Jeno, if it’s us two fighting for that last rose I don’t mind sharing.” He winks.

“Well I do!” Jeno protests making the others laugh.

“But hey hey!” Taeyong interrupts with a frown. “What do you mean you two fighting for the last rose? Should I just give up?”

“Oh c’mon we can’t all be in the final pretty boy.” Jaemin ruffles his hair.

“Are you two excited for tomorrow?” Jeno asks the two who are still waiting.

“Very much.” Jaehyun replies.

“And nervous!” Taeyong adds.

“Don’t be, it will all be fine.” Jaemin cheers him up before the siren is heard and the gather around the TV.

Taeyong and Jaehyun don’t think I forgot about you, there’s a special place I’d like to take you.

The boys brighten up.

Hope you like dark places with neon lights. See you tomorrow!

“You guys going to a strip club?” Jaemin widens his eyes.

“Of course we are.” Jaehyun laughs.

“What could it be though?” Jeno wonders.

“I guess we’ll have to wait for tomorrow to know!” Taeyong says still feeling intrigued by your message.

-

You turn to a drive in movie theatre as the night takes over. You get some popcorn and a couple of drinks before park right in the middle of the space having a great view of the screen.

“Should we get into the backseat?” You suggest.

“The backseat? Right here in front of everybody?” He smirks wiggling his eyebrows.

“To sit more comfortable you pervert!” You chuckle, playfully hitting his arm.

You two follow your suggestion right before the film starts. It’s a simple sci-fi movie that you recall him mentioning liking the genre.

Halfway through, the now empty bag of popcorn is put on the side as you snuggle closer to your date. Yuta wraps his arm around your shoulder as your heads rest against each other.

Once the movie is over you two stay in his embrace while all the other vehicles leave the place, wanting to savour this moment a little bit longer. You then get back into the front seats to drive back to the guest house.

You decide to take the long route so you can talk a bit more a discuss the movie that honestly you didn’t pay that much attention to as you almost fell asleep against the warmth of Yuta’s body against yours.

“Thank you for today, I had a really great time.” He says as you drop him off.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” You smile. “Goodnight Yuta.”

“Goodnight Y/N.”

He watches you drive off before entering the house with a huge smile on his face.

-

The following day Taeyong and Jaehyun excitedly leave the house to go meet you. During the ride they discuss what could possibly await them on this date. All doubts come to an end when the car stops in front of a museum where you wait for them in a beautiful short white dress.

“Do I hear wedding bells already?” Taeyong asks as they walk to you.

“Not yet!” You chuckle. “This museum holds temporary exhibitions and once I heard they were having a neon themed one I just knew I had to come. Are you excited?”

“Yes!” They both say.

“Well let’s go then!” You lead them inside.

As you enter the building you get into a dark hallway that leads into a purple themed room. It looks like something out of a dream, the lights playing with the mirrors on the walls making it look like there’s infinite space.

The next room is blue. Wavy lights decorate the space making it look like you’re under water.

“This looks like the aquarium we visited last week!” Taeyong excitedly says.

“It really does! Minus the fish.” You two chuckle leaving Jaehyun feeling a little bit left out. He tries to play it off by pretending to be distracted by the room setup that you don’t even notice the sadness on his face.

You then enter a room that looks like a fantasy garden. Neon green lights fill in the space with fake plants and trees. It almost feels like you’re in a magical forest where a mystical creature will pop out any moment.

The next area is yellow. The brightness almost blinds you and Jaehyun takes the opportunity to hold your hand to guide you inside. You’re startled by his action as you were not expecting it but let him lead you around. When Taeyong notices it he decides to hold your other hand making you giggle at the small trace of jealousy.

The orange room that follows the yellow one is very fruit having neon signs shaped like all sorts of exotic fruits. Your mouth gets watery at the sight.

As you walk into the following space it seems like you entered the red light district. There are suggestive images on the walls and even a pole in the middle. The guys seem to be too distracted by the spicy surroundings almost forgetting you’re there.

“C’mon lets get into the next one before you start getting ideas!” You pull them and they laugh realising they were staring.

Entering a a pink area the environment feels more tropical with flamingo light structures everywhere. Taeyong seems to really like that room and you recall a previous conversation where he told you this is his favourite color.

The last room of the exhibit is a combination of all colors making you feel like you entered a scene from Alice’s wonderland.

“Wow, that was really cool!” Taeyong sounds like a kid who just went on his first rollercoaster ride as you get out of the museum.

“I know right?” You agree. “But I gotta say, that orange room made me hungry, should we go somewhere to eat?”

“Yes, I’m starving!” Jaehyun supports your suggestion.

You all head off to a near by restaurant that seems to carry the neon light theme.

“Now I see why you wore white today, you’re shining brighter than all the lights in the room.” Taeyong complements you making you blush a little. Luckily they can’t see that over the lighting in the room.

You order some drinks that funny enough reflect the neon colors all around and come in glasses that look like lab material. You make a toast to having a good time together as the food arrives.

The conversation is cheerful but you can’t help feel like Jaehyun is holding back a little. Could he feel intimidated by the other guy who seems to be having the time of his life?

Taeyong really has changed is attitude and you’re glad he did. He gave you the chance to get to know him better and get closer to him, bonding over all the things you have in common and even the ones you don’t carefully listening and learning from each other.

Jaehyun seemed to have this fight in him before but now he seems to be too relaxed. Could it be that because you gave him a quick kiss on your last date he got comfortable and started taking his position in the competition for granted?

As you wrap up the meal the three of you go for a walk admiring the city lights before you head back.

You say goodbye to the boys  when you leave the car and enter the mansion taking a deep breath. This week all dates went pretty well making it harder for you to decide on someone to send home.

-

You join the boys in the cocktail party that are excitedly talking about all their experiences this week. They welcome you in, encouraging you to give your perspective on all the activities, which you gladly do before you start talking to them individually.

As there are less and less people in the house it’s easier to catch up with all of them before making the ultimate decisions of the night.

The first one to call you outside is Taeyong. You could still feel the rush from the date exuding out of him as he excitedly thanks you for taking him to the museum. You understood is a very cultured guy that enjoys these type of activities which is something that attracts you in him. Despite all the happiness he also discloses how worried he is thinking he might have taken too long to try and build a connection with you but he’s glad you were willing to take a chance on him which you assure him you don’t regret doing at all.

The next bachelor to talk to you is Jaemin. As always, your heart skips a beat when he takes your hand and leads you to sit outside. As always, he wants to know how you’re feeling and if there’s something going on inside your head. As always, you let it all out with him, this week went really well but that actually makes it harder for you to make a decision. As always, he comforts you and makes you feel like everything in the world will turn out alright as long as you’re by his side. And as always you feel like your heart is going to explode with this inexplainable connection you have with this guy since day one.

After a while you see Jeno walk outside and Jaemin calls him out leaving you two to talk. Just like Taeyong, Jeno still looks pretty excited from the date. You’ve been growing closer and closer to him and you’re not sure if this is a good things because everything is getting so messy inside your head. Nevertheless you enjoy every single second by his side and you appreciate all the efforts you see from him, trying to open up more to you and even around the others too. He does seem to be here for the right reasons and you definitely appreciate all the effort.

Next in line is Jaehyun. Now this is a hard to read guy. Sometimes he seems so in sync with you, other times so off. Some moments you spent together in the past drew you close to him and made you imagine a possible future but other times it feels like he’s not really here, or maybe he just got too comfortable. You start to regret going back and giving him that kiss. Maybe if you didn’t he would still make an effort to earn it. Tonight he talks to you like you’re the only person on the planet but in the date with Taeyong he didn’t feel like the same person. As you get closer to the finish line and choosing the man you want to share your life with, could this be a setback?

Finally you spend some time with Yuta. You’re glad you chose him for the only individual date you had this week because you haven’t had that much alone time with him almost since the beginning of this journey. Of course you talk to him in the other cocktail parties and in the group dates, but it’s different. When he mentioned he felt like you two were losing your connection you felt bad because you realised you felt the same way and you don’t want that. He’s a very nice guy and you’d like to keep him around. Even if he’s not the one you end up with you’d still like to keep him as a friend because he’s an incredible person to have in anyone’s life. You’re glad you were able to reconnect with him this week and realise that some of that initial sparkle between the two of you is still there.

After talking to all of them you feel as confused as ever. All of them have strong points on their favour and you’ll really have to evaluate what’s more important to you. It breaks your heart having to send people home week after week but you came here to find love. One true love. You just didn’t expect the production to do such a nice job casting and presenting you such amazing guys the make you more confused than you ever thought you’d be in this journey.

Before Chris comes to take you upstairs, you take some time to talk to all the guys in a group again. It feels good to be here drama free. The environment seems lighter and you all joke and laugh having a genuine good time. You like seeing them all get along despite being in a competition against each other. The good mood helps them focus on what they’re really doing here and that’s proving they’re the one for you, not bickering with each other and forgetting you’re the one they should impress, not each other.

Chris finally enters the room and you know it’s time to reflect on the outcome of tonight. You thought that by now you’d have your mind made up but you’re as confused as ever.

-

“One more week has passed, how are you feeling?” Chris asks as you two sit down in the decisions room.

“Mixed feelings inside me Chris.” You honestly say. “I feel like I’m really bonding with all of them so it’s really hard to think of someone to let go of.”

“Very understandable. How did you find it not giving out roses ahead of today?”

“It was weird but it was also good because I genuinely wanted to give a rose to everybody after the dates!” You two laugh.

“Well we couldn’t have that!”

“It’s really harder than it looks, I’m not only breaking their hearts but I’m also hurting myself a little bit by sending someone home.”

“Do you have any idea of how you’ll make the decision tonight?”

“I think at this stage I have to think about every single detail to be able to single some one out.”

“It is a hard and important decision as every week. I will leave you to it and be back in awhile so you can share the verdict with the nervous boys downstairs.”

“Thank you Chris.”

As he leaves the room you once again stare at the pictures on the wall trying to make sure you don’t regret whatever choices you make tonight. You feel like you can see a future with any of these 5 men but that’s not how it works, you came here to find the one and for that you’ll have to send them home one by one until you get to him.

-

You and Chris walk down the stairs joining the 5 boys that anxiously await to hear your decisions.

“Good evening gentleman. 5 of you stand before us but there are only 4 roses to be handed out tonight so that means one of you will be grabbing his things and going back home.” Chris then turns to you. “Y/N, whenever you’re ready.”

You thank him as he leaves the room and grab the first rose facing the guys.

“Before I start let me say I really like every single one of you and I feel like we’re building very strong connections. Unfortunately I can’t keep you all here. I want to find love and I’m modern and open minded but not that much.”

You all laugh at your comment and then you take a deep breath before starting calling them out.

“Jaemin.”

His eyes sparkle hearing his name.

“Do you accept this rose?”

“Absolutely.” You two smile as you pin the rose to his jacket. “Thank you, Y/N.”

He walks back as you pick up another one.

“Taeyong.”

The boy widens his already big eyes.

“Do you accept this rose?”

“One thousand times yes!” You feel him shake under your touch. “Thank you so much.”

You grab the next rose.

“Jeno.”

He sighs in relief.

“Do you accept this rose?”

“You scared me there for a second! Of course I do.” You giggle as you pin the rose. “Thank you.”

You bite your lip as you take the last rose on the bowl.

“Yuta.”

A smile opens up on his face as he steps forward.

“Do you accept this rose?”

“Definitely.” You pin it to his jacket. “Thank you so much.”

Chris walks back in.

“Jaehyun, that means that unfortunately you and Y/N are not meant to be. Thank you for being with us. You can now say your goodbyes.”

The other bachelors gather around hugging him. You patiently wait until he finally comes your way.

“I’m so sorry…” You mutter.

“It’s ok, Y/N.” Jaehyun wraps his arms around you, pulling your shaky body in for a hug. “I’d have to go eventually. Your prince charming is here but I knew I’m not him.”

“Thank you for everything, Jaehyun.” You say when he lets go, wiping a tear that fell on his cheek.

“I didn’t think it would be this hard to go.” He chuckles. “But it’s time, thank you, I had a great time.”

You watch him walk out with sadness in your eyes. The other guys gather around you understanding how hard these decisions are. As you get closer to the finish line it’s practically impossible not to get emotional when someone leaves. You only hope Jaehyun is right and your prince charming is really amongst these 4 men.

-

In the next episode:

4 guys remain on the quest for love and it gets harder not only for the bachelorette but also for the bachelors:

“You should be careful, you’re getting a little too cocky.”

“I feel like I’m deluding myself.”

“What are you talking about?”

And someone else will go back home.

“I knew it was only a matter of time.”

“I really don’t want to go.”

Stay tuned for next weeks episode premiering 01/08.

☽ ・・・・・ ☾

Episode 8

a/n: jaeeeeeeee T_T I know this chapter is way smaller than the other ones and I’m posting this later than usual but I was out of the country this week with zero time to write so apologies if this feels rushed… I promise to do better in the future! (for real this time) also want to wish a happy birthday to the person who commented on this episode’s voting that this will be their birthday 🥳 do give me some feedback please! ❤

taglist: @skrtbabe @yutahoes @yokshi-unbeliebubble @nakamotonudes @n0hyuck @negincho @love-and-other-possibilities @readers-posts @sylviacxt​ @tyongf-sunflower99​ @princessjunnie​

If you’d like to be included in the taglist for the series do let me know ❤︎

[pilk0id]

heres a love story for you:

context: i am a junior, “c” is a sophomore, and “t” is a freshman, and we are all in marching band together - i’m in color guard as you know, “c” is in front ensemble, and “t” plays bass clarinet

in october “t” starts falling for me and i start catching feelings too because fuck i thought he was cute in the moment

after a game we flirt a little and we both leave school happy

next day is a competition day and we spend virtually the whole day together

directors sent us to the mall nearby so they wouldnt have to deal with us

we have lunch together and eventually do some window shopping as couples do

meanwhile: “c” looks like hes having a good time since he’s in our group of about 8-10 people (all in front ensemble except me and “t”) and we’re pretty good friends at this point

but on the inside hes actually really upset and pissed off that “t” was spending so much time with me (he really wanted to ask me out but was nervous :<)

out of literally fucking nowhere “t” decides that the age gap wouldnt work and he “breaks up” with me

new record for shortest relationship coming in at six hours long woo woo

we continue to hang out in a friendly manner but im still really hurt by it and i did not leave the band hall happy

thru the rest of marching szn we stayed pretty good friends but me and “c” kept getting closer and closer while at the same time i couldnt think about “t” without thinking about how he hurt me

a little while later in november i lose my lunch friends because they moved spots and they didnt tell me so i look for friends to sit with

lo and behold i see “c” with his astros cap and backpack with patches from all his camping trips

he’s more than happy to make some room for me and i start becoming friends with his friends and i join their discord server

a few days later “c” asks if i’d want to go see a movie with “t” and him, i’m like hell yeah but “T” BACKS OUT leaving me and “c”

we see the movie and it was great and we both had so much fun

but the main highlight: WE HELD HANDS DURING THE MOVIE

so naturally we start falling completely in love with each other and eventually we gathered enough confidence to smooch :>

now its december and we are both convinced that we’re soulmates, we’ve gone on plenty of dates already and we’re going to get ice cream later this week after exams lol

(oh yeah me and “t” are no longer talking to each other because he has a fucking harem of girls his own age and doesnt have time to spend with “c” and i and whenever i see him i want to cry and throw up because he SUCKS)

tl;dr: i met my soulmate and today’s our one month anniversary so i thought i would brag about him for a min :’)

[kangaroo-sniper-imagine]

Mercs who didn’t pay attention to their family trees

-I’m only doing a few mercs, cuz otherwise this would be huge-

Scout and Spy

When Miss Pauling introduced their newest recruit, The Thief, everyone was at least interested with the new blood. They were useful on the field; fast, silent, deadly, quickly able to steal the info case and dashing back to safety in record time. They were closed off at first, like many are in a new environment, but quickly opened up as soon as they were settled in.

The only person who didn’t quite connect with them was Spy (shocker). There was something about the new recruit that stuck him odd, something familiar about them that he couldn’t just put his finger on. The Frenchman’s son felt similarly.

“It’s like I already know ‘em; which is weird ‘cuz I’m dead certain we’ve never met before.”

It wasn’t until several weeks later, as the ten of you all were joined in the rec room, just enjoying each other’s company after a successful match. Jacque sat in the corner with Mick {not to derail but I totally think that they’re secret best friends who roast each other on the field}, both sipping at their drinks and idly talking as Jeremey sat with them, having a loud conversation with Jane from across the room.

Then they heard it. A deep, throaty chortle that was extremely unattractive, coming from across the room, coming from you

Both Jacque and Jeremy froze, the sound too familiar for it to be comfortable, eyes snapping to you, where you were wildly laughing with Travish. The Scotsman was sloshed and laughed along with your, his thundering laughter almost drowning out your own. Almost.

The sniper took a slow sip of his beer as he as well looked upon the commotion. He hummed in thought, and turned to the frozen spy. “Izzit jus’ me,” he drawled, gesturing with is beer can to you, “or do their laugh sound a lot like yours?”

Scout slowly turned to his father, rage in his eyes, but all Spy could do was watch you laugh that awful laugh. His brain slowly connected the evidence, memories of 20+ years ago invaded his mind, a dalliance with a woman who looks shockingly like you, the nose that you share with him and Jeremy, your strange obsession with your appearance, and most damning of all; the shitty laugh that you’ve seem to inherit from Jacque.

With a deep breath, the Frenchman stood up, determined to get out of the room and hide in his abode so he could scream in peace, but the sudden influx of the realization, rather, caused him to faint.

He awoke, what he assumed, several hours later, in a familiar camper bed. In his peripheral, Jacque could see Mick smoking a cigarette and reading a newspaper with one hand, a mug of coffee in the other. Without even looking up to confirm that the Frenchman was awake, the sniper spoke.

“Your kids are right pissed at you, mate.”

Jacque cursed.

Heavy and Soldier

Pauling was ecstatic to introduce more help, probably under the impression that this person to pick up the slack the other leaves so that her evenings won’t be filled with killing and covering up murders and thefts. Some young thing with a thick, almost indiscernible accent who spoke rarely and quietly. You were called the Electrician, for your… odd choice of weaponry.

Your gun was one of your own design, one you were very proud of, that rather than bullets shot out electrical charges, either stunning your opponent to help assist another teammate in a kill or give off a charge so intense it kills. You spent most of your free time in your assigned work shop improving your gun’s design and creating new weapons.

More than once, the team would hear a loud scream and the sound of a loud thud, only to come and find your door blown wide open and you stuck in the adjacent wall, hair shocked to stiffness and a new white streak added to your hair. Needless to say, you kept the team on their toes with your eccentricities. For some reason, your antics made Mikhail exceptionally worried. It was a weird knee jerk reaction he had, something that hadn’t flared up since he was younger, watching over his sisters.

About a month after your arrival, Jane caught you in his raccoon infantry pen, cooing over the animals that flocked to you. It was the first time he saw you smile since you’ve gotten there, and the first time he’s seen you out of your combat gear, now you wore a too large tee shirt and denim shorts, toes in the Arizona sand, scratching the chins of the furry animals. Deciding to try his luck, Jane approached you with a bellowing welcome, startling you, but you greeted him back regardless.

Jane noticed how much you liked watching the raccoons play with each other, but noticed you looked sad too.

“What’s the long face for, private?”

Your face pinched. When you spoke your words were slow, not used to English. “They have… family. I do not.” With a heavy sigh, you tried to elaborate. Jane didn’t mind waiting for you to collect your thoughts or your thick accent. Years of hanging out with Travish and Ludwig extremely sloshed had taught Jane patience in regards to others when they’re trying to speak an unfamiliar language.

“Mother was from… Russia? But father was from Norway, and mother went to there with him. When mother and father… died,” Jane’s heart twinged at the way your face fell, “I do not know how to find mother’s family in Russia, and father had no family in Norway. So I stay in Norway.” A beat of silence passed as you scratched the head of a curious baby raccoon that strayed closed to you. “I stay alone.”

Jane busted out crying, pulling you into a bear hug and vowing to be your surrogate family for as long as you want. He made it his mission to figure out who your family is. The first thing he did was write down the name of your parents, fully planning on hunting down your relatives after some good old fashioned American bonding.

Just as he was about to reunite with you after grabbing a baseball form his room, the American ran into Mikhail, who seemed pissed off

“You touch Sasha?” He accused, one large finger jabbing into the soldier’s chest. Jane couldn’t find it in himself to get mad at the accusation, he was a man on a mission to cheer up a sad kid and no angry Red was gonna stop him.

“No time,Sputnik! There’s a sad private who needs a moral boost and a good old game of catch!”

Rage quickly turned to confusion, then mild understanding. “Electrician is sad?”

Soldier gave a speedrun version of your sad backstory, even going as far to show the names of your parents to the Heavy. The Russian surveyed the sheet and he sighed. “That is not how name of mother is spelled.” He informed.

Jane scoffed. “And how would you know?”

Mikhail threw the American an unimpressed look. “Because family name is mother’s name before marriage.”

There was a second of realization.

“... is it a common last name?”

“... nyet.”

“... you might want to call your mother to confirm something.”

“... Heavy just might.”

—-

The next morning, Mikhail knocked on Jane’s door so early in the morning, the vet wasn’t even awake yet already doing his morning exercises.

The American looked up blearily to the Russian, one hand scratching his buzz cut head.

Mikhail looked grim. “Heavy call mother. Mother says that Electrician’s mother is cousin to her.”

Soldier mulled over the information. “So… your mama’s cousin is Private Zappy’s mama, so that makes us-

“Makes ME second cousin.” Mikhail insisted.

With an air of smugness, Jane flashed his left hand, displaying a wedding band. “Then I’m their second cousin in-law.”

Mikhail grumbled in annoyance and rolled his eyes, complaining in Russian. “Right. Sister Zhanna’s big mistake.”

With a sense of new found energy, Soldier stuck his chin up high and began marching towards your room, seemingly not aware that he was in only a pair of his tighty whiteys.

Mikhail sighed again but followed Jane regardless to tell you the news of your newfound family.

Medic (italics is German cuz lets be honest, who wants to translate all that)

After months of complaining to Pauling, asking for more on field medical help, upper management finally relented and hired a new mercenary, some bright young thing going by The Nurse.

You were studious, and compared to Ludwig you were very tamed. You saw this opportunity as a job to perform and not a way to finally experiment legally on people without getting arrested the way Ludwig does. You took your work seriously, dutifully dressing every wound, handing out pain medication, assisting Ludwig in his surgeries. You certainly helped lessen his work load during battle, helping with minor injuries so that the doctor could focus on his Ubercharge and on more serious injuries.

You two were professional to each other; despite showing you weren’t exactly sadistic you never chastised Ludwig for his somewhat cruel experiments, and you were always respectful to him and everyone else around you, which is something that impressed him (considering how noting the rest of the team is).

One day while experimenting on Heavy, you solemnly standing next to the doctor with your face covered like the good little health professional you were, the Medic fuzzed in German, adding, “I need a bone saw.”

Without him translating, you turned to your side and snatched the instrument off the tray, passing it to the doctor.

After a moment of thought, Ludwig spoke again. “You speak German?”

“Ja, I am from Germany after all.”

The russain’s rib finally took the blade and now was slicing easily. “What a coincidence. Which part?”

“Munich, but I left while I was very young when my family moved.” After another brief pause, you add, “I actually wanted to become a nurse because of Munich.

Ludwig didn’t mention that he, as well, came from the same city, rather, he decided to prod you and learn more. It was so rare to meet someone he could have a conversation in his mother tongue with.

“What in Munich made you want to become a nurse?” Reaching into Heavy’s chest with a scalpel, Ludwig began to sever the arteries attached to the heart.

“The University. My family lived nearby, and seeing the students come and go made me want to join them… actually a relative went there. My family was very proud of him and I wanted to go with him, but, ah, I was only a child.” Without being asked, you held out a silver pan that Ludwig deposited the heart.

The doctor started the timer, watching the mutilated chest cavity, waiting for the oregano to regrow due to his most recent experimental ‘medicine’. “Hmm, which relative?”

“Oh, my father’s brother’s wife’s…. something.” You replied idly, fetching a notebook and pencil to record the time. “Nephew or cousin’s nephew or something. It is a distant relation. Lost his license though.”

“Really? How?”

“He removed someone’s skeleton if you can believe it.”

Ludwig’s fist clenched so hard that the stopwatch broke. Dammit, now he has to start the experiment all over again.

[chaes-tea]

if seventeen was in a high school band [headcanon]

not sure why i was thinking back to my school’s marching band but then i thought of this so i was like “why not???”

this is has only been lightly edited because for some reason tumblr decided to yeet one of the hyperlinks i put in and mix up one of the bulletpoints

[headcanon]

if seventeen was in a high school band

seungcheol: 

would totally play trumpet and would totally be drum major

would also join jun in playing jazz music

lets loose around the bois but knows when to behave

idk he just reminds me of my classmates who were drum majors back in high school

jeonghan:

would play flute or piccolo 

if he plays piccolo he would definitely blow someone’s eardrums off so it’s probably better to put him on flute

would go over to joshua’s section a lot even though he isn’t close to it

would most likely take naps in the practice rooms

joshua:

alto sax is the first thing that comes to mind when i think of a band instrument that he would play

idk dude it seems so fitting

it’s either alto sax or trombone because i feel like he would be the type to take up trombone as a joke because he does some hilarious things sometimes

but then he ends up being really good at trombone and gets promoted to section leader LOL

covers anime openings

jun:

TENOR SAX

hear me out

IDK DUDE FOR SOME REASON EVERY TIME I PICTURE JUN PLAYING TENOR SAX MY MIND DEFAULTS TO HIM WITH HIS HAIR FROM THE CLAP MV AND HE’S JUST WEARING A WHITE T-SHIRT AND BLACK SLACKS AND HE’S WEARING THE NECK STRAP FOR THE SAX AND THE SIDE PROFILE

ok i’m done but yeah tenor sax also because i feel like alto sax is too small for him so to me the size comparison is ehhhhhh

also if he was greasy he would totally say “ya like jazz?” AND STARTS PLAYING JAZZ MUSIC

oh but he would totally be a part of jazz band too 

soonyoung:

bass drum is probably the safest option

if it’s a beginning band, it’s the easiest to follow because most beginner’s repertoire for bass drum isn’t hard

the hard part is just staying on tempo

also not sure if you would trust him with smaller instruments

like i feel like he would lose a flute or a piccolo

wonwoo:

i can only picture him playing bells/glockenspiel and playing pomp and circumstance because he wants to LEAVE ALREADY

honestly me cuz when i was playing bells i started playing graduation music in january because i was ready to get out of there

would rlly just play whatever the band director gives him

would get bored and cover video game music while waiting for class to start or something

jihoon:

since he plays drums, he would most likely play all the percussion instruments 

probably would stick with snare drum if he had the option

it’s either he plays drums or he plays clarinet because he also knows how to play that

he’s also good at snapping his fingers and he can keep in time, which is why i think he fits drums more

his dream is to play music composed for movies and video games :D (using this recording session as an example because i love it and this is just me inserting one of my past dreams that i never put enough effort in. i also think about how cool it must be to be around others who are just as passionate about music as you are T_T)

also covers anime openings with joshua

seokmin:

he would totally play trombone just so he could recreate the when mama isn’t home (the oven kid) meme with soonyoung

also sometimes you just need to be LoUD AND BOISTEROUS and so i feel that trombone just works well with that personality of his

would like to do trombone covers of any music he listens to

mingyu:

triangle tall man smol instrument jk bass clarinet because clarinet seems too petite for him but i also feel like he should play clarinet 

so my brain compromised and picked bass clarinet 

and also my brain refused to picture him with a tuba or a bassoon

minghao:

i feel like he would play bells/glockenspiel

he likes elegant things (*coughs* drinking wine) so i feel like something that can make a clear, pristine sound is fitting for him

would like to play the more classical pieces as opposed to the popular pieces

seungkwan:

clarinet or soprano sax

i feel like he wouldn’t really like holding a big instrument and he would want to play an instrument where you hold it similar to the way you would hold a recorder

gets help from jihoon because jihoon is a legend and knows how to play multiple instruments

hansol:

washboard i’m not sure why i picture him playing marimba but i picture him playing marimba

the sound isn’t as pristine as bells but its toned down a little so in some cases it’s more pleasing to listen to because it doesn’t ring as much??? 

and i feel like he likes that soooooooo

chan:

trumpet because he looks up to seungcheol and wants to be drum major some day 🥺

also i can totally see him in marching band and marching while playing the trumpet in a band uniform

i feel like he would also volunteer for french horn if the section is lacking members because there are so many trumpets already

[flowersandskeletons526]

“Broken Noses and Bad Ideas” - Glitradora Fanfic Part 7

It has been so much fun getting back into this! Enjoy!

----

Catra bared her teeth at the lanky blonde. Double Trouble grinned and threw their arms around her. “Oh Kitten, I missed you! We left on such bad terms!”

Muttering curse words, Catra shoved them away. “Yeah, and whose fault was that?”

“Well, usually I’m never one to admit fault, but we can go halfsies on this one.”

“Halfsies?! Are you fucking - you know what, forget it. What are you doing here, DT?”

“I wanted to visit. Am I not allowed to see you anymore?” 

Catra bit her tongue and tasted blood. “Come outside and we’ll talk.”

She stormed out of the house with Double Trouble in tow. She leaned against the van, arms crossed, tapping her foot in the dirt, while they stood before her with a wicked grin. 

“Well?” she snapped. “What do you want?” 

“I told you - I wanted to visit. We haven’t seen each other since-”

“Don’t.”

Double Trouble snickered. “Not one for reminders today, are we?” 

“I told you to stay away from me!” 

“Oh, come on.” They grabbed her chin and leaned close. “Did you really mean that?”

Catra slapped their hand away. “Yes, I did. I meant it when I told you to stay away from me, I meant it when I said I hate you, and I meant it when I said I never want to see you again!” 

“Ouch. That stings, Kitten.” 

Catra lurched towards them. “Stop calling me that!”

Covering their mouth with their hand, Double Trouble laughed and walked in a slow circle around her, watching her suck her anger back through gritted teeth. “Me-ow! So agitated! I mean no harm, you know.”

“What. Do. You. Want.” 

“I heard you and your little band were playing around here and decided I wanted to visit.” Standing behind Catra, they drummed their fingers along her shoulders. She clenched her teeth and watched them from the corner of her eye. She knew this game. “Well, more than that.”

Of course.

“I have a bit of a proposition. I take it you’re still working for everyone’s favorite edgelord?”

“What makes you think that?”

“Yes, then. I was hoping you and I could go back to our previous arrangement.” 

Catra bristled. “If you think I would ever-”

“Not that arrangement. Our original one. The one where I find the people your boss sends you after and you give me a generous stipend for my efforts. Take some of the stress away so you can focus on your personal ventures.” 

“Personal ventures. Like you.” 

They grinned and wrapped their arms around her shoulders. “I didn’t say it.” 

Catra laughed coldly. “You don’t have a job, do you?”

With a gasp of indignance, Double Trouble jumped back. “I am in between roles, thank you very much! There’s not much in the way of the Etherian theater scene.”

“How long have you been here?”

“A few months now. I found a lovely hotel I’ve been staying at between auditions.”

“You can afford a hotel?”

“They don’t check the cars in the parking lot.”

“There it is.” 

“Which is why you should bring me back onto your team. What do you say?” They dragged their long, sharp nails down Catra’s arm. “Just a few trips down memory lane?”

Catra hesitated. The worst distraction in her life behind Adora was back, right when she needed her focus the most. She had to deal with Hordak, she had to keep up with her work, she had the band to manage. And now with this old case coming back to haunt her, her and Glimmer…

Glimmer. She had to keep all of this away from Glimmer. She only had to keep this up long enough for the heat to blow over, for the cops to move on to another cold case, for Hordak to send her along to another city and away from the mess she fell into. Away from Glimmer. Maybe she could convince Sparkles to come with her. 

No. No, she couldn’t even entertain that thought. There was no way that could even happen, not with Adora hanging around.

Fuck, of course she had to be here! Of course she had to end up being Sparkles’ best friend, too. Why did this shit always happen to Catra? 

She bit her tongue. Dealing with that case was her main objective at this point. It couldn’t hurt to have someone dealing with the other aspects of her work, could it?

“Fine,” she finally said. “You find my targets for me, like you used to, and that’s all.”

“Oh, wonderful! I knew you’d come around, darling!” 

“And you’re sleeping in the driveway in your car.”

Double Trouble forced a smile. “Always a catch with you. I’ll go get my things and be back tonight.”

They started for their car. Just as they grabbed the door handle, Catra called to them. 

“And just so we’re clear, Trouble, this is business.” She narrowed her eyes as they turned back to her. “What happened between us? Never again. Ever.”

They winked. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Kitten.”

“And don’t call me that!” 

Double Trouble took off with a roar of the engine and a cloud of dust. Catra coughed and wiped the dirt out of her eyes. She watched their car until it disappeared down the road. Biting her tongue hard, she spun on her heel and marched back inside. 

She swung the door open, and Scorpia stumbled back from her place pressed against it. The taller woman laughed awkwardly and rubbed the back of her neck. “Oh, hey Catra! I wasn’t listening.”

“They’re going to be staying in the driveway for a while. Just while they’re in between roles or whatever.” 

“O-Okay. Um, why are we letting - oh, alright.”

Scorpia stepped aside as Catra swept past her. “Don’t worry about it,” she dismissed.

“Noted.” Scorpia hovered near Catra’s shoulder as she sat at the table. “Didn’t, um… Maybe this is a sensitive subject but, uh, didn’t you two have a, well, a thing?”

“Scorpia,” Catra snapped, “what part of ‘don’t worry about it’ wasn’t clear to you?”

“Yep. You got it. Hear you loud and clear.” She paused. “But just so we’re on the same page-”

“Scorpia.”

“Okay, shutting up now.” 

“Thank you.” 

Catra’s phone rang. She bristled at the name on the screen. 

“Catra.”

“Out!” 

Scorpia bolted for her and Lonnie’s room without further comment. 

Catra answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Catra,” Hordak growled. “I have another job for you.”

“Already? How extensive is your business in Etheria?”

“That is none of your concern. Your job is to go after who I send you after. Am I understood?”

“Yes sir.” 

“I will send you the details. Take care of it.”

“You had to call me for this?”

“Watch your tongue,” he barked. “We have more business to discuss. The case we discussed - what more have you found out?” 

Did she give him Glimmer’s name? She had to. He would kill her if she didn’t and he found out!

If he found out.

“Nothing. I haven’t heard anything about it.”

“Excellent. I expect regular updates.”

“Of course.”

The line went dead. A text message with addresses and names popped up on screen the next moment. Catra dropped the phone onto the table and took a deep breath. Pushing her fatal lie from her mind, she grabbed the car keys and left, hunting down another poor bastard who crossed the wrong man. 

How long until her name was on that list?

----

Glimmer called just as Catra stumbled back to the van, covered in blood that was not her own. She sighed and let it ring as she fished a stained rag out of the glove box. She wiped away as much of the blood as she could, taking special care to get it off her face before tossing the cloth somewhere in the back seat. 

The ride home was quick. She was greeted with loud squabbling coming from the kitchen, something to do with Kyle as usual. Only Scorpia greeted her, and she waved her off, retreating to her room. She plopped down on the bed with a heavy sigh. 

She picked up the phone and dialed Glimmer’s number. She needed to have some fun tonight.

The punk princess answered after two quick rings. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, Sparkles.” 

“Catra! I was starting to think you weren’t going to call me.” 

“Ah, work stuff. Got pulled away for a little bit. What, did you really miss me that much?”

“You wish.” 

Catra laughed. “Damn, alright then. So does that mean you wouldn’t be interested in joining me at the club tonight? I’m in the mood for dancing.”

“Don’t you have a performance?”

“Not tonight. So Princess, are you in or out?”

“I’m in. What time?” 

“Meet me outside the Seaworthy Tavern at nine tonight.” 

“The Seaworthy? Isn’t that place a little seedy?”

“Oh, the magic princess is bougie now. I found you laying in a pool of blood the second time we met and you’re worried about a place being a little seedy?”

“Okay, I get the point. I’ll be there.” 

“Good. See you then, Princess.” 

Catra tossed her phone aside. She smelled at her shirt and recoiled. Fuck, she needed a shower. Running her hands through her shirt, she headed for the bathroom. 

Double Trouble was standing outside her bedroom door when she opened it. “What’s this I hear about clubbing tonight?”

“Ah! Fuck! How long were you standing there!”

“That’s besides the point. I’ve been waiting to have some fun in this town. Can I come? Oh, pretty please?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever, I don’t care. Just leave me alone.” She shoved them aside and continued. Their eyes bored into her back as she left. 

----

Glimmer waited for Catra outside the club. Scorpia and the rest of the band tagged along and parted from her with a wave. Double Trouble headed straight inside with them, not noticing Catra slip away to join the pink and purple leather clad girl standing on the edge of the building. Catra wore tight black leather pants and a red corset with a long leather jacket over it. Her wild hair was pushed back from her face. She stood in front of Glimmer, who was focused on her phone, without speaking. She looked up after a moment and immediately went red in the face, violet eyes wide. 

Catra snickered. “How do I look?”

A string of nonsensical noises left Glimmer’s mouth before any real words formed. “You look, um, well, you - wow.”

“That good?”

“Yeah.”

“Right back at you, Sparkles.” 

Glimmer blushed again and tucked her hair behind her ear. She nodded towards the door. “Want to head in?”

“Sure.” Catra offered an arm that Glimmer accepted, holding onto her as they strolled inside. 

The club was lit with blue and green lights that rippled like water on the walls. The dance floor was packed with people and more crowded around the bar, tossing back shots and chugging cheap beers. Cigarette smoke hung in the air. Glimmer squeezed Catra’s arm and headed for the bar. 

“What are you drinking?” she asked. 

“Vodka cranberry,” Catra said with a nod to the bartender, a tall, built woman with a bandana and a messy white undercut. A fish hook tattoo was inked on her neck. 

“Whiskey on the rocks for me,” Glimmer added. 

The bartender nodded and made their drinks. She passed Catra hers and then slid the other to Glimmer with a coy smirk. “Yours is on me,” she purred. 

Catra growled, nearly cracking her glass in her grip. She swooped in before Glimmer could respond, wrapping an arm around her neck and flashing her fangs with a sneer. She leaned into Glimmer.

“Thanks for the offer, but you can just put it on my tab,” she drawled. 

The bartender scowled at her. She stuck out her tongue and steered Glimmer away. Glimmer laughed as they found an empty spot along the wall. She leaned her shoulder against the wall and sipped her drink. 

“That was a lot,” she remarked, raising an eyebrow. 

Catra grunted. “Didn’t like her face.”

“Are you usually possessive like that?”

“Why? Turn off?” 

Glimmer shrugged. “We’ll find out.”

“Is that a proposition, Princess?”

“Dance with me first and you’ll see.”

Catra grinned and abandoned her drink. She let Glimmer pull her onto the floor, their hands landing on each other as they moved to the music. Catra watched Glimmer, completely enraptured by the way she glowed and sparkled in the dim light, staring at her eyes as they lit up. The bass from the speakers boomed in her chest and amplified her own pulse pounding in her head. She sucked in a sharp breath as Glimmer wrapped her arms around her neck, their bodies pressed together. 

Glimmer sighed, her breath hot on Catra’s ear, and pressed a soft kiss to her neck. Catra tried to hide her shiver. 

“Thank you for showing up in my life,” she murmured, her voice cutting through the music. “You’re the only thing keeping my head on straight lately.” 

“That’s a bad thing to rely on me for.”

“I don’t care.” Glimmer tangled her fingers in Catra’s hair and tilted her head back to look at her. “There’s something about you that I can’t name.”

“My charm? My wit? My dashing good looks?”

“Not that.”

“Ouch, Sparkles.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. It’s something else. Your edge, maybe, or the fact that you can go whatever you want. I wish I had freedom like that.” 

“Mm. I’ve got more responsibilities than you’d think.”

“What responsibilities do you have tonight?”

“Nothing but what you tell me.”

Glimmer giggled, her lips brushing Catra’s. “I like the sound of that.”

Catra pressed her lips together. They spent a brief eternity on the dance floor, squeezed together in the crowd, their hands and lips on each other’s skin. Even with so little liquor in her system, Catra was drunk off the feeling of Glimmer against her. At one point, they pulled apart and pressed their foreheads together, simply swaying as a slower song played. 

“I wish we had more chances to see each other,” Glimmer said. “Besides going to your shows.”

“You know Adora would kill me if this got back to her,” Catra pointed out. 

“I know.” 

“Is the thrill of sneaking around losing its edge?” 

“Life is more entertaining with you.”

“The feeling’s mutual, Sparkles.” She kissed Glimmer’s cheek. “I’m going to go get us another drink. Same thing?”

“Make it a double this time.”

“Got it.” 

Glimmer stepped off the floor and went to stand with Scorpia and Lonnie by the wall while Catra went to the bar. She exchanged a quick glare with the bartender. As she watched the woman make their drinks, she sensed someone standing behind her. 

Double Trouble leaned on her with their arm draped over her shoulder. “Now tell me, Kitten,” they said, “who on earth is that tooth-achingly cute ball of glitter you’ve been dancing with all night?” 

“A girl I know,” Catra said dismissively.

“Oh darling, that is not how you act with ‘a girl you know.’ That’s why you were so angry about me showing up! You didn’t want me butting in on your little romance!”

“I didn’t want you showing up because I hate you.” 

“You and half the theater business. So, give me the details! What’s her name, how did you meet, is she good in bed?” 

“Shut the fuck up. You said you would leave me alone tonight.”

“I lied. Buuuuuuut maybe I will if you give me a little information.” 

“That’s all you care about, isn’t it?”

“Information runs the world, darling. I thought you would have learned that by now.” 

Catra snarled and turned away. “Her name is Glimmer. That’s all you’re getting.” 

“For now.”

“Period.”

Catra grabbed the drinks and stormed off to find Glimmer. The moment she found her, she pulled her into a searing kiss and pushed the drink into her hand. 

“Finish that quick and let’s get out of here,” she growled. 

Glimmer grinned. “Let’s skip it and go straight back to my place.”

“Sounds good to me.” 

Catra couldn’t get back to Glimmer’s apartment fast enough. Glimmer pulled her into a harsh, bruising kiss the moment the door closed. Catra barely locked it before Glimmer pulled them towards the bedroom. Their clothes ended up discarded on the floor. 

Catra stopped them just as they fell onto the bed. “Are you sure you want to do this? I know last time you said-”

“I’m fine. I want this.” 

“Okay.” 

Glimmer grinned and pulled the covers over them. 

----

They laid awake in the middle of the night, curled up with each other in the low candlelight. Glimmer’s head rested on Catra’s chest. Her hair was messy and swept back from her face. Catra carded her fingers through it as Glimmer traced the various scars covering her body.

“What’s this one from?” she asked. 

“Adora and I went rock climbing when we were little and she fell so I went jumping after her.” 

“Wow.”

“Yeah. Let’s talk about a different one.”

“Okay.” Glimmer reached up and traced a long scar stretching from the back of Catra’s neck down her shoulder. “What about this one?”

“I got into a fight and the guy pulled a knife on me.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m completely serious. I ended up winning, too.”

Glimmer propped herself up and leaned over Catra. “How do you get into so much trouble being in a cover band?”

“Hey, we have original songs, too.” Catra’s mouth continued before she could stop it. “And I have more business than the band.”

“Like what?”

Fuck.

“Just… dealing with people. Fights. Issues people have with us and stuff like that. The music industry is surprisingly cutthroat, you know.” 

“Hm. Weird.” 

“Mm.” Catra yawned and stretched. 

“Tired?” 

“A little.” 

Glimmer snuggled up to her and closed her eyes. “You can stay the night, you know.”

Catra smiled and laid back. “Whatever you want, Princess.”

She woke up with Glimmer still cuddled under her arm. Late morning light streamed in through the curtains, casting a halo around the sleeping girl. Rubbing her eyes, Catra stretched her arms above her head. Glimmer stirred as Catra untangled herself. Catra smiled.

“Morning.” 

“Good morning.” Glimmer rolled over and draped herself over Catra’s stomach. “How did you sleep?”

“Good enough. You?”

“Good. What are your plans for today?”

“I’ve got to get back to the house eventually for rehearsal. Scorpia starts getting anxious if I’m gone too long.” Catra brushed Glimmer’s hair out of her eyes. “What about you?”

“I have stuff to get done around the store. It’s the one day I’m closed so I have to get paperwork and cleaning and stocking done.”

“Wow, sounds boring.”

“Is it,” Glimmer whined. 

Catra chuckled and brushed the side of Glimmer’s neck, tracing the purple marks on her throat. “You should probably cover these before you go anywhere.”

“Ugh, who cares? I would rather stay in bed all day.”

“You know, you could always-”

“Glimmer!”

Catra jumped at the sound of Adora’s voice. Glimmer flinched. “Son of a bitch, Adora, what are you doing here?” she hissed. 

“Does she usually just show up unannounced?” Catra growled. 

“Yeah, she does. Coming, Adora!” 

Glimmer hurriedly changed into new clothes, picking a shirt that covered her neck. While she hid their clothes strewn around the apartment, Catra had enough time to pull on pants and crawl beneath the bed. 

Glimmer crouched and frowned at her. “What the hell are you doing?” she whispered. 

“What part of ‘Adora will kill me’ do you not understand?!” 

Glimmer rolled her eyes. Catra made sure she was hidden as Glimmer answered the door, but she maintained a clear line of sight into the living room. She caught a glimpse of Adora’s stupid peppy face over Glimmer’s shoulder. 

“Hey, I haven’t heard from you, I wanted to check on you,” the blonde said. 

“I’m fine, I’ve just been working,” Glimmer dismissed. 

“Are you cold? Why are you wearing a turtleneck?”

Catra bit back a laugh. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I just woke up feeling cold.”

“Are you sick? Here, let me feel your forehead.”

“Adora, Adora, stop. Get off, I’m fine!”

“Okay! Look, we were - wait, is that liquor? Were you drinking again?”

“Adora, you are this close to getting kicked out if you don’t leave me alone.”

Catra raised an eyebrow. Interesting… 

Adora raised her hands. “Alright, I’ll stop. Anyway, Bow and I both have nothing to do today so we were gonna go check out the ice cream shop we used to go to and maybe walk around town. Do you want to come?”

“Adora, I’ve got so much paperwork to do and-”

“Please, Glimmer? I can help you finish when we get back and it’ll get done in five minutes!” 

“Ugh, fine. Wait for me downstairs, okay?”

“Okay!” 

Adora disappeared downstairs. Catra crawled out from under the bed as Glimmer stepped back into the bedroom. Catra raised an eyebrow. Glimmer cringed and jerked her thumb towards the door. 

“I have to go deal with that,” she said. 

“Yeah. Have fun with that.”

“Look, I had a lot of fun last night. I’ll call you, okay? You can stay as long as you want and eat something before you leave if you want.”

“Thanks, Sparkles. I’ll be out of here once Adora is.”

“I didn’t know she was going to show up.”

“I know.” Catra grabbed Glimmer’s collar and pulled her into a harsh kiss. Glimmer smiled against her lips. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you.” 

Catra collected the rest of her clothes once Glimmer was gone. Slipping on her shirt, she looked around the empty apartment. 

She grinned. Perfect. Now she could find some information.

[yandere-society]

maybe a one shot with Taehyung getting jealous to the point of hurting another BTS member? Preferably x reader.

Devil’s Fair Share 

By: @roses-ruby

Word Count: 14,423

Warnings: Cursing, Smut, Yandere, Unprotected sex, Oral (F receiving), Spanking, Possessiveness, Possessive talk, Violence

A/N: Guess who it is:D aha! I’m back at it again with this fuckery. I hope this is what you wanted anon, It’s my first time posting on this account so I hope I didn’t mess anything up! This is longer than I expected but well :) what can you expect from me. Edited but…I’m dumb so there might be mistakes. Okay, luvs. Enjoy!

Taehyung hated you for many reasons.

He hated that you were a busybody, always trying to get into everyone’s business with a help everyone mentality painted across your forehead. He hated how much time you took to tell a single story. Going on and on about God knows what. And he absolutely despised how much you hung out with them – or rather him on an average basis.

Which is why he was practically sneering at you from his table, as he watched you chatting in line while waiting to pay your bill.

Just because he was staring at you, didn’t mean he didn’t notice some of Jungkook’s sneaky fingers making their way for his fries.

“Cut it out, Jeon.” He scowled when the tip of the younger’s index touched a particularly long fry which was sticking out of the basket.

Jungkook retracted his hand like he was burned and let out a sigh, “There’s like a thousand in there! And you didn’t even eat them. Why’re you so mean?”

It’s not that he didn’t want to consume them, it’s just that he lost his appetite after seeing your face appear from behind him when he entered the Deli on the bottom floor of their BigHit. He didn’t even want the sack of frozen stale fried potatoes, deciding to quietly munch on his small sandwich throughout lunch instead. But whatever the case – they were still his fries. Taehyung ignored the pouting of the man child sitting next to him to zero in on you who was laughing at something he said while slightly touching his arm. Yuck, what an ugly laugh.

“Just leave it, when has he ever shared anything of his?” Yoongi soft voice scolded the younger who was ogling the basket with his lips caught between his bunny teeth, “Besides you ate two large Hawaiian burgers, how could you still be hungry?”

Jungkook squinted his eyes at the rapper, telling him to be quiet as he once again snuck his hand over the table. However, he doesn’t get very far before Taehyung smacks his hand away with more force than needed.

“Didn’t I tell you to cut it out?” He raises his voice, turning his head to face the oversized hooded menace. Everyone’s head turns their way, as Jungkook shifts – slightly taken aback at the fury in Taehyung’s eyes. Soon his own anger flares up and he glares at the older, “Fine, keep your stupid fries and choke, Hyung.”

Standing up, he marches away from the table and heads into the parking lot to blow off some steam. Yoongi groans, reluctantly getting up to follow and comfort the youngest while rolling his eyes. When Taehyung’s face lands back on you, he catches you – the whole place rather – gaping at him with a mix of confusion and concern. Namjoon was raising a brow at him, a sort ‘the hell did you do’ indication on his face. He mutters under his breath, no longer comfortable in the suddenly threatening atmosphere. Which leads him to straighten up and wander off behind the other two.

Leaving the basket of fries rotting on the table.

_

See, this is why Taehyung hated you. Because he didn’t understand why you had to make a beeline straight for Namjoon’s room when they reached the sanctity of their dorms. You were shy, Hoseok had told him, you didn’t know the others well. Unlike Namjoon, who you had grown up with. Taehyung would just growl at the redhead in return, firmly telling him that he wasn’t interested in knowing anything about you.

What gave Hoseok the right to think he knows you so well, anyway?

If he reflects about it, Taehyung’s not sure when it first was that he began detesting you. You appeared collectively in their life a few years ago, a nervous young girl who had just moved into the city after her enrollment in Seoul University. Namjoon introduced you to the group with a dimpled smile, as you hid shyly behind his length and peered off his shoulder. As far as he recalls, you are a fan of the band – even had Jimin’s photocard placed inside your phone case. Usually, all the members are protective of who they invite into their home, refusing to let anyone they found problematic into their small circle. It stemmed from company policy as well as a couple of dirty leaks in their entourage of managers and stylists – exchanging information with sasaengs for a few quick bucks.

Needless to say, they were wary of the public in general. Too much time and effort had gone into their dreams of becoming singers for them to let something as small as visiting a bar ruin it. They promised one another to stay far away from anything scandalous. Which ranged from clubs to casual hook-ups. He knows most of the guys have broken the latter rule though, including himself. But they never let any fling become too close, never let any promiscuous desire tarnish their image.

However, Namjoon swore up and down on your character. “She won’t bother you guys! She’ll just hang out with me sometimes.”

And back then, he could stand you. Thought of your innocent doe eyes and somber behavior as adorable even! Yet as time passed on, your caution to avoid everyone who wasn’t Namjoon and commitment on keeping the rest of the members at a surface-level basis infuriated him. Did you think of yourself that high and mighty, that no one but Namjoon was worthy of your time? Fuck off.

“Shit!” 

He shouts in his deep baritone as he’s once again defeated by Jin in the lousy racing game they chose to pass the time by. The window-wiping laughter of the elder makes him slump further into the couch wanting to be swallowed whole.

“That’s the third win!” Jin cheers, chugging on his beer in victory. Taehyung just laughs at the childish antics of the elder, his face turning red the more shit-faced he became. Through his own puffy eyes, he watches the TV screen replay Jin’s victory and groans when his stomach growls, having been more than a few hours since he last ate. With all his previous adrenaline absent, he decides to get up, stretching his sleeping tendons and scratching the itch on his ass.

“I’m gonna get something to eat. You want something?” He asks Jin, who is swinging both his leg and controller of the end of the couch while acting dead.

“There’s still the extra Jajangmyeon Jungkook ordered in the fridge.” Jin replies nonchalantly, resting his sore body on the cushions. Practice was especially hard today.

Taehyung nods, more to himself and saunters his way over to the kitchen across the hall. This dorm of theirs was rather spacious compared to the one they started out with.

He remembers it quite well, the shared mess of a bedroom and cramped bathroom. The mildly yellow walls and unembellished closets. It was in those times where the members were the closest, a silent joint empathy amongst all of them. Him and Namjoon shared an unbreakable bond. Taehyung was a country boy, fresh off the farm when he first joined the dorm. He cringes as he thinks about how awkward he was, the village-like simplicity of his fashion and the heavy accent he endowed for the first few months. Everyone had trouble understanding him, thinking he was the strangest thing after ET. Everyone except Namjoon.

Maybe it was because the boy boasted such a high I.Q. or maybe kindness was just second nature to the much taller man, all Taehyung knew was that he was eternally grateful to him. 

Where areas some of the other members would write off his behavior as a passive eccentric trait, Namjoon carefully listened to him. He would try to see his point of view and never made Taehyung feel like he was weird for his thoughts and efforts. Taehyung in return respected Namjoon and his vision – which is why he was fine with distributing a room with him and only him. 

Even if he was a bit clumsy sometimes.

Nonetheless, the days where they were inseparable roommates have long gone, now each member held their own room and their own hefty possessions. Sometimes he misses the simpler days, but he mostly liked this scenario as well. He was never a man who enjoyed sharing.

When Taehyung steps into the kitchen, he heads straight for the fridge. Immediately he spots the Jajangmyeon Jin mentioned and takes out the large bowl covered with a thin film of plastic wrap. Taking off the plastic, he slides his way to the microwave and stuffs the dish in there to warm up. He begins whistling the tune of the newest song they were recording, taking out a pair of black chopsticks from their cutlery drawer. Soon the microwave beeps, and he takes the Jajangmyeon out, smelling the heated pieces of pork ready to be devoured. His mouth waters as he began to sift the noodles and sauce together.

As he’s stretching the noodles apart, the sound of soft steps on the foyer make their way to his ear. He turns his head, to find your slightly startled figure staring at him in surprise.

“Hi.” He says with his eyebrows raised

“Hey.” You reply awkwardly, shifting on your feet and playing with your sweater paws

“Are you hungry?”

“Um, no I just wanted some water-” You stop that sentence when a ‘way too loud for the otherwise silent kitchen’ rumble rips its way from your stomach.

Taehyung lets out a snort, chuckling afterward as your cheeks dust themselves red and you wrap your arms around your abdominal in scrutiny. He looks at the steaming bowl in front of him, his right hand in midair of stretching the noodles, then looks back at you.

“This bowl is too large for just me. Wanna share?”

“O-Oh no!” You put up your arms in front of you, “I don’t want to both-“

“Get over here.”

“Yes, okay.” Dropping your hands, you meekly make your way over to Taehyung who gets a second pair of chopsticks from the drawer and hands it to you with a wink.

You watch as he immediately digs into the noodles with a big bite as you hesitate to touch the dish at all. He glances at you in confusion when he notices you’re not eating, and you accidentally let out a laugh. His cheeks were stuffed squishy with Jajangmyeon and there were stains of black bean sauce all over his mouth.

He looked like a tiny baby bear.

“Y-you ha-have,” You stutter between giggles and point at his face. But when he continues to cluelessly munch on his food you gently move your thumb to the corner of his lips, wiping off some of the sauce.

He doesn’t move an inch, just feeling the sensation of your finger and immediacy giving him goosebumps. Once you’re done wiping, you retract your hand to stare at your thumb. It hits you then of what you just did, and you look back up at him in shock.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to um…didn’t…” 

You lose you train of thought as Taehyung grabs your hand, bringing your thumb to his lips. He gently puckers them over your thumb and sucks off the sauce as you let out a small gasp. His eyes never leave yours and the heat from his soft mouth shoots right up your spine. For a while you just stare at each other, Taehyung’s sharp pupils examining your features. Your pink mouth is slightly parted, and your glazed eyes resemble a doll. He thought he heard you let out an almost inaudible whine as he kisses your thumb. It stirs something inside him that he himself doesn’t understand.

“___?”

You both jump far back when a deep voice calls out your name. With wide eyes and fast heartbeats, you stare at one another in a tremor. What were you doing just now? Namjoon soon appears into the kitchen with his hands in his short’s pocket and stops a few feet from you. He raises a brow as he looks between you and Taehyung and the obvious uncomfortable atmosphere dressing the place.

“You were taking a long time so…I came to check if you were okay?” He tells you, pausing a bit to catch Taehyung’s eyes, “We have to finish your assignment, so we should head back…”

“Y-yeah,” You suddenly remember how you were originally working on your trig quiz with your best friend and wandered off to quickly grab something to eat from the kitchen. “I’m fine.”

Turning back around, you smile at Taehyung before you notice something in his presence is off. You move your hand to set down the chopsticks on the countertop, accidentally brushing your fingers next to the bowl. Taehyung snatches the bowl out of your reach, and you become alarmed at the abrupt movement and his harsh glare.

“Don’t touch it.” He snarls in a low but clear voice. You observe him in shock as he steps his way around you and Namjoon and leaves the kitchen with heavy stomps.

Namjoon sighs as he watches him leave, “Don’t mind him. That jerk hates sharing anything.”

He looks back at you, who’s just gazing at where Taehyung once stood with an unreadable expression.

“___?” He calls again in a concerned tone, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“Huh, what?”

“You good?” Namjoon seems worried, studying your face with furrowed brows.

Namjoon’s been your friend for the longest time. You both met at the time when you stood 2 feet from the ground and still secretly wet the bed. Namjoon was a year older than you and had the gentlest soul. Other boys couldn’t compare, they had cooties. When you live in the same neighborhood and your parents are great friends, it’s not hard to see one another every day. So you did – and you both became very close, very quickly. If there was a test coming up, you’d rush to his house even in the middle of the night. When your mother was nagging at you for something stupid, you’d ask him to come over and bring his bike to ride around town. And when those cootie-filled boys broke your heart in middle school, his arms were the first ones you’d run into.

It was because of those days that you felt like you had taken a lot from him, and you desperately needed to return the favor. After he moved to Seoul, he called you often. Talking about things far from your general knowledge such as dance practices and the flow of rhythm and poetry. You would just sit back and let him rant, a content smile on your face at how much he was growing. But soon his words became alarming, especially after they debuted. At first, he would talk about how excited he was and ask what everyone thought about him or his group. That quickly changed into him complaining about the hate comments, about the relentless hours they worked, about rude staff or seniors they encountered. He told you how much he missed his parents, the quarry on the east end of town him and his friends hung out at, and how lonely he became at night when everyone but him was asleep. Your heart ached at his words and you knew it was time to repay your debt.

You were as shocked as everyone else when you actually got into Seoul University. Not Namjoon though, he was over the moon at your arrival. Your visits to the dorm began shortly and you transformed into a major stress-reliever for Namjoon. It was a recuperated feeling, he was also your ball of vitality after a long day. So were the other members of BTS you had become fond of through stories Namjoon told you or Bangtan Bombs you spent hours watching. They were awkward around you, and you were awkward with them. Some members were closer to you than others.

Taehyung was one of them…in the beginning at least. He was fun and charming, and he always knew how to make you laugh. It’s not like you used up eras talking to him. They were all fully grown adult men with a demanding job and barely any moments for themselves. Not wanting to bother their already busy schedule, you mostly hung around Namjoon. But from the few times you did run into him in the dorm, he was kind and easy-going. You were embarrassed to admit it, but you had the fattest crush on him even though Jimin was your bias. Everything about him was attractive – from his piercing facial features to his boxy smile and fluffy hair. That all changed one day though, as he rarely directed a smile at you. Instead he started to scowl whenever you stepped foot into the dorm.

You thought maybe you were interrupting the time between the seven members too much and he needed you to back off a bit. So you spoke to Namjoon about it who vigorously denied your allegations. Even though you felt bad about the whole situation, you knew how much your friend needed you to be his rock. The more popular they became, the more he felt like he was losing himself. Being a celebrity is harder than it seems – you try to dissociate your reality from the perception of others and it still becomes a tangled mess in the form of a persona. And so, you stayed with Namjoon, even through Taehyung’s frowns and glares. It hurt for a while because of your feelings towards the blonde, but soon you just concentrated on being a good friend.

When he spoke to you today, you were surprised. You didn’t find any disdain in his orbs or hidden layers underneath his words. A part of you thought he was finally fine with you again, just for him to do what he usually does when Namjoon appeared.

You notice the worried features set upon your older friend and smile up at him though your eyes don’t,

“I’m good. Let’s go.”

_

“Baby, can we pleaaassse order another shot?”

The girl demands into his ear, snuggling herself up further on his velvet clad shoulder. He internally rolled his eyeballs feeling suffocated by her skin ship, playing with the lime wedge on the edge of his untouched gin and tonic. The club’s music was pounding in his brain and he had spent the majority of yesterday vomiting out his nerves for their recent comeback. Their senior manager told him to take the day off and clear his head. Specifically warning him to not go to the club in Hongdae again, so obviously that’s where he went.

It’s not that he’s stupid, he knows why his company forbade such behavior. But it didn’t matter who it was, he didn’t like to be told what to do. Many celebrities visited and hooked-up with random rich kids here anyway, so security was pretty tight. No one who even resembled a reporter would be allowed to wander an inch of this place. Everyone dressed in Gucci shirts, and LV shoes so it wasn’t hard to weed out the peasants. A few undercover Dispatch employees have probably slipped in here though, but his company had already made a very generous donation to them so he knew even they wouldn’t bother him.

Taehyung frowns, he was always so damn stubborn and held probably the biggest ego in BTS. What did he even want to do at a club? There was nothing interesting for him here, especially not the half-drunk girl he’s been texting with for a few weeks. She seemed mysterious and chic on Instagram, but Taehyung should’ve known better than to trust that lying devil of a site. Now he was practically stuck with her thin arms wrapped around his waist.

As soon as he met her, she suggested a threesome between her, him and Jimin. It made him angry, but he played it cool for the sake of getting laid. Taehyung was never a man who shared. Especially if that something was his. His father instilled this part of his identity into him; a real man never takes for granted what’s rightfully his property. And with that value set as an important part of his core is how he lived his everyday life. From food, to clothes and even lovers…what was his, was his.

As she leaned into him, he takes a peek at her cleavage. Her red spaghetti-strapped dress was extremely low cut and the silicon in her breasts felt like the real deal.

Well maybe this wasn’t so bad.

He leans back into the cushions of his booth, eyeing the hordes of people dancing. There were a couple of faces he recognized, some good memories some bad. The girl begins to suck on his ear, and he sighs. In a second, he was just about to get up – bring this girl back to the dorm and fuck her brains out when he spots something that immediately catches his attention.

You.

This was the last place he expected you to be.

He hadn’t seen you for a while after the incident in the kitchen. You made it your mission to avoid bumping into him and for some reason that upset him. Taehyung keeps thinking about your small interaction over and over again.Just laying in his bed and wishing to hold onto your delicate hand once again. There was something pulling him to you and it really confused him. Wasn’t he supposed to hate you?

It was as if all the world’s noises and distractions had faded into nothing as he zeroed in on you. 

You were sitting at the bar slowly sipping a light pink concoction in a short and wide glass. His gaze lingers on your figure, perfectly embraced by the dark green body con dress you were wearing. A velour cotton he analyzed; he was the expert in fashion in BTS after all. It seemed to reach down just below your ass, but he could’ve been wrong since it was riding up the more you shifted in your stool. The sleeves covered your arms and the neckline was wide, exposing your collarbones and ending just a centimeter above your chest area. Just then a thought of undressing you crossed his mind, leaving him shivering in his seat. He licks his lips as his heart starts beating faster from your lazy movements.

“Tae?” A sudden voice interrupts his thoughts “When are going to go somewhere a little more…”

Moving up on him she breaths into his face, observing him with cat eyes, “Quiet?”

There’s no expression on him as he answers her, “Never.”

She looks taken aback, moving off of his body and furrowing her eyebrows in question.

“What?” 

She seemed offended

“Jimin just texted me. He says you look boring. Bye.” Is the last thing he says before picking up his drink and standing. He doesn’t look back to see her reaction as he focuses on walking towards you.

You were finishing the last of your light alcoholic drink before you suddenly smell Tom Ford from a warm presence next to you. Turning your face, you see Taehyung leaning into the bar table with his left arm and smiling at you. He was wearing a navy-blue velvet jacket with gold embellishments lining the edges of his arm. His black button up shirt was tucked into his tight leather pants and his neck exhibited a thin choker with a golden fox charm in the center. It matched with the blonde hair that fell over his sharp eyes.

Why was he here? Well…it makes more sense for him to be at this club than you. But Namjoon had told you of Taehyung’s strange behavior recently. It worried you, was he in the correct state of mind in this moment? He didn’t seem drunk to you as you survey his posture closely. The second he showed you his boxy smile, was when suddenly everything became brighter in the dark club.

“Hi.” He says in that familiar profound tenor

“Hey.” You reply back a little too quietly

“What brings you here?” He asks with a smirk, freezing your movements when he tucks a stray hair behind you ear.

“I c-came with a celebrity friend of mine…She kinda disappeared into the crowd.”

“Oh?” He says, bringing up his drink to his lips and taking a sip, “Do I know them?”

“The actress…Yujin. Namjoon introduced me to her a while back.”

At the mention of Namjoon he glances up from his glass. The eyes that were once focused on studying your features now held a heavy threatening aura, his lips pulled into a straight line. 

When you notice the change in the atmosphere, you try your best to change the subject.

“W-what are you drinking by the way?”

When he registers your words, his pupils lighten again like he was some fairytale creature. His mouth forms back into a lighthearted smirk and he raises his drink up to your lips this time.

“Wanna find out?”

You back away from the cool touch of his tall glass just for him to bring it closer to your mouth again. His posture is playful and his smile boxy. Where was this Taehyung when you were at the dorms? With a purse of your lips, you open them somewhat to allow the glass into your mouth.

Carefully you angle your head up, allowing Taehyung to slightly pour the alcohol into your mouth. Your tongue retracts at first by the intrusion of the bitter liquid, but it soon flattens smoothly and let’s the drink slide down your throat. When you are finished with the first gulp, Taehyung’s hand settles onto the back of your head, his elongated fingers tangled in your strands. He uses that to push your head back further and let you drink more of his gin and tonic, controlling your movements with his warm limbs. Your lids flutter at his dominance, you felt yourself getting wet.

“Good girl,” He says in a deep velvety voice, making you clench your thighs, “Just like that.”

The action no longer seems innocent as he observes you like a hawk, his proximity heating your torso. You gawk hard into his bottomless eyes and found an unrecognizable desire dancing around his irises. Your core was on fire causing your cheeks to inflame. The liquid continued to slide down your throat, making you feel dizzy at the cool flavor. It felt like everything in the club had come to a halt in favor of watching Taehyung shove his drink down your throat.

As you down the whole drink, he removes the glass from your lips and sets it down while his other hand stays in his hair. It feels like you’ve run a marathon, your chest moving up and down and your eyes teary with lust. You struggle to speak – your brain was fuzzy as the alcohol settled in your system.

“Shh.” He hushed you, your mouth automatically shutting at his command. It made him smile and he cupped your jaw, moving his thumb along your lips. You tremble in his hands, your panties soaked with your juices.

“Wanna come home with me?”

_

Taehyung’s keys jingle as he slides it into the lock. 

With a click he pushes the door open and enters into the pitch-black room with you following close behind. He flicks on the light switch and indifferently starts removing his derby’s. You on the other hand stare in shock and awe at the larger than life luxury apartment he brought you to. Your eyes wander all over the place – at the expensive adornments and odd-looking décor to the huge windows that gave you a clear view of the Han river.

“Wow.” You whisper

You hear Taehyung snort behind you, “You like it?”

“It’s quite something.” You utter as he comes into your view and places his shoes by his house slippers and proceeds to walk barefoot into the foyer casually. Snapping out of your reverie, you bring up your leg to pull off your heels one at a time, awkwardly setting them down next to the other two pairs.

When you’re done with that you enter the floorboard and look around to see where the blonde-haired man went.

“Taehyung?” You call out

“In here.” He shouts back from a room with the door slightly ajar and a small sunset light shining into the bright living room.

You walk across most of his apartment to reach the door, standing stagnant in front of it hesitantly. With a gulp you slide the door open and stepped inside.

Taehyung turns his face when he sees you. He’s taken off his coat and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his silk shirt.  Smiling, he ruffles his hair while walking towards you who stood in the doorway.

“Hi.” He says cheekily, backing you into a corner

Causing you break out into a giggle, “Hello.”

His hand comes into contact with yours, his fingertips touching yours lightly before traveling up your arm. The warmth causes goosebumps in his trail and he places his fingers underneath your jaw, tilting your head up. His eyes roam around your face before settling into yours intensely, and you swear he looks unreal – like he just stepped out of a Ghibli animation.

“I always thought you so beautiful.” He mutters, his breath fanning your face

“Tae…” Is what you barely manage to say before his lips are on yours

The kiss is so slow, so sweet – you feel like you’re imagining it. When his tongue comes in contact with your lower lip you open your mouth to allow him entry. His large hand caresses your cheek, as his tongue dances with yours softly. Tilting his head to the side, he deepens the kiss pushing you up against the wall. In a second the kiss becomes faster, harder with him licking the insides of your mouth in a frenzy.

He himself didn’t know how long he’s wanted to kiss you. All he does know is that you taste delicious. A mix of bitter and sweet, like Rose spritzer and Gin. It was addictive and now that he’s had a taste, he can’t get enough.

“Mm- Tae-,” You try to muffle through a kiss, putting a hand up to his chest

He doesn’t seem to hear you as he pushes his tall, sturdy body onto you – his hot chest colliding with yours and his arms on either side of your head with his hands planted on the wall.

“T-Tae,” You say a bit louder this time, using a little more force to get him off you

He comes off in a breath, hands still on that wall and his eyes wide and pupils blown. His chest was moving up and down and his lips were wet with spit.

“You alright?”

“I…I just can’t do this.” You say with sadness in your voice. “I like you too much to be just another hook-up…so I can’t.”

Taehyung narrows his eyes and you flush, looking away. What was going to happen now? He didn’t seem to like you…was he going to tell you to leave?

“What gave you that idea?”

You look back up in surprise and meet his hardened stare

“I..I just thought-“

“I’ve never brought anyone here.” Taehyung interjects, “Did you know that?”

“What?” You say in disbelief “Really?”

Sighing, he drops his head giving you a clear view of his blonde locks, “Yes, really.”

“I know that you’ve probably heard from the members that I don’t share anything of mine…but…”

He looks back up at you, “That’s never been a problem with you.”

As you register what he was stating, you become apprehensive. If he was saying he likes you too…then why did he treat you like that before? All the scowls and harsh stares, what were those for?

“I thought you hated me.”

“I’m sorry. I-I thought I did too.” He grimaces, “But instead, I think I was just…that…”

It seems like he doesn’t want to finish his sentence, but you weren’t going to settle on a vague answer.

“You were what?” You drill him with a new-found confidence

“I was jealous!” He shouts, startling you a bit.

“You and…Namjoon,” He grits out your best friends name with his teeth clenched, “are together all the damn time! You don’t acknowledge me when he’s close by and you go straight into his room without even looking at me! I don’t know…how can I not be jealous when I want you to be mine?”

“…would you be mine?”

Your jaw drops open at his confession, all the new information starting to irritate your brain. The only reason you avoid him is because of how he acts…and he’s saying he acts this way because you avoid him? What a strange cycle. As your gaze lingers at the fury in his orbs, you can’t help but break into a laugh, which shocks him.

“Oh my god, you are so cute,” You say in between hearty giggles and watch him twist his face in embarrassment.

“It’s really not that funny,” He pouts “Hey, stop laughing!”

You hear him grumble underneath his breath as his facial expressions continue to amuse. Honestly, you didn’t know how to reply to his accusation. I mean, you and Namjoon? That would never happen in a million years. It was cliché, but he was literally like an older brother to you. So, this declaration sort of disgusted you. There was just no way you could ever discern Namjoon in that way, and you were sure it was the same for him.

Although, there was one time a few years ago where you both were extra lonely and helped the other masturbate. Obviously, nothing came out of it, and you don’t think Taehyung needs to know that. Not with the way his face lights on fire at the mention of you with Namjoon.

So, with nothing to say to him – you hook a finger up his choker and pull his face close to yours.

“I’m ready to be yours.” You whisper before kissing the frown away.

He reciprocates immediately, his hand being placed on your hips and drawing you into him. The kiss is electric, lasting for a few seconds before he moves his mouth into your neck. His hands trace over your dress, from your curves down to your ass before he grabs it gently.

“I really like this dress,” He mutters into the skin of your neck “Green is my favorite color.”

“I can’t afford s-something like this- ah. It’s- mm- Yujin’s.” You sigh

“Hmm,” He looks back up at your face making you blush, “Looks like I’ll have to buy you a whole new wardrobe then.”

Trailing his hand up your back, he finds the peak of the dress’ zipper. He pinches the zip, dragging it down your torso until it ended just above your bottom. Then he takes a step back, placing both of his palms on the edge of your shoulder. Without breaking eye contact, he slips the dress down your arms until it falls to the ground, pooling around your ankles.

Your breath is steady as you stare at him, watching in slight nervousness as he takes you all in.

That was the thing about Taehyung. You were always so worried about he thought, especially about you. Even though you visited the dorms often, he was always the member the most out of reach. He was like an expensive bottle of cognac, like the brightest star on top of the tree. Compared to the members, he was the most celebrity-like. Whenever Namjoon mentioned him ‘talking’ to someone, you always imagined some sexy, gorgeous model-like person. Someone similar to him.

And so you felt quite insecure about yourself as he leers at your almost naked form with an unreadable appearance. It makes you tuck a hair behind your ear as you wrap an arm around your abdominal.

Your breath gets caught in your throat as he closes in on you, placing your hands back on his clothed chest. He grips your waist, a bit harder this time as his fingers dig into the delicate skin. Taehyung picks you up abruptly and throws you into the large bed in the center of the room, knocking the wind out of you. You barely have time to think before he’s on top you, biting down your jaw and into your neck.

“All of this,” He growls in a deeply furious resonance, “is mine.”

Bending his index finger underneath your bra strap, he gives it a pull, just to let it go in the next second. It lands on your skin with a snap. You flinch, your face twisting in pain as he grins, and arch your back off the bed. Was he always this playful with his lovers? There’s not much time for you to dwell on that as his fingers trace up your exposed back. Working quickly, he unhooks your bra, practically ripping it from your chest as your lids shoot open. He discards the fabric to the side, not caring where it landed with his attention focused solely on you. Your nipples bounce faintly in the cools air while he licks his lips, bending down and taking a bud in his mouth.

As your jaw drops open, you entangle your fingers into blonde locks, pulling slightly as he swirls his tongue around the nipple before sucking your areola. The action has your spine tingling. Your other hand grabs onto his shirt, the silky fabric of the cloth letting you easily slide the edge of your nails throughout the expanse of his back, making him shiver on top of you. He moves his mouth onto the other nipple, using his thumb and index finger to pinch the wet, swollen bud.

“Mmm- Ahhhh…Tae.”

The room was getting blurry, the smoke of yearning in your lungs kept your sentient heavy. Taehyung removes himself with a pop and uses his large, supple hands to mold your breasts. His emission was low and stable as he was in buried in concentration at every curve of your figure – every inch being his to sculpt. You were entranced by his dedication, so delicate and agile. He didn’t look like he was in any rush and you were caught off guard. Expecting him to be uncaring and have you in the way he wanted.

But what you didn’t understand is that Taehyung could play both sides equally well. The man is a master at manipulation – always knows how to get what he wants.

“So perfect.” He mumbles.

There was not an ounce of alcohol in his veins, yet as he continued to stare at you, he felt himself getting lost. Taking the tips of his fingers, he glides them down the middle of your chest, loving the way you sighed at his contact. Your body was a work of art, a Gustav Klimt in the midst of so many Wassily Kandinskys. He stops his digits on top of your clothed core, his breath hitching in his throat when he feels how wet you are.

In embarrassment you recoil, closing your legs together. In return he easily props them open with tender vigor shooting his eyes up to meet yours.

“Don’t ever act that way with me.” He warns, placing two fingers above your cunt over your panties, leisurely dragging them up and down, “Not with me, do you understand?”

All that leaves your mouth are whines of his names, the motion of his long digits making you want to close your thighs again for some friction. But you knew better than that now.

“Do you understand?” He says again in the same lazy tone and you almost cry out of frustration. It was torture how slow he was moving yet just as he wants you to, you don’t move an inch.

Forcing yourself to clear your tangled thoughts, you spill out a pathetic plead, “Ye-Ye- ahhh. Yes! Yes! I understand. Pleasssse.”

The way your voice sounded was frightening to you. You’ve been sexually intimate a handful of times, but this was a whole new world. Never in your life did you ever think you were capable of sounding like such a whore. Nonetheless, when Taehyung smiles at you. Oh, when he smiles like you’ve done such a good job.

You would happily become a whore.

He retracts his hand from your center, gazing down at the large wet patch on your underwear. Slowly, he crouches down, sticking out the tip of his tongue in the direction of your crotch. You anticipate, holding your breath as your pussy clenches around nothing. Thinking about Tae tasting you down there had you leaking like a waterfall.

He finally makes contact with your core and you cry out as you feel his muscle move around your folds, the fabric stimulating the bundle of nerves. It was heaven and hell, half of you wanting him to remove the cloth the other half not giving a fuck. Just wanting to cum.

“Tae, Tae, Tae, Tae.” He had you slurring at the bare minimum. If a sober – less excited you was watching you, she’d close her eyes in humiliation. Which is exactly what you do, but instead for a completely different reason as Tae flattens his tongue on you.

He groans at your taste. “So- mmf- sweet. So good.”

Your fingers pull on his hair, as he moves his nose and mouth around your folds, sucking your slit through the fabric.

“Oooh,” You sob “N-no more teasss- inng.”

Exhaling into your crotch, he sits up with a gratified look on his face, orbs glossy and chest heaving like he was high. In the next second, he was hooking his finger in the waistband of your underwear, dragging it down your legs in a slow yet steady motion. Fuck, you wanted to scream at how long he took at doing everything, but you opt to just squirm around in its place. Annoyance covers your lids as he just laughs, throwing his head back with your underwear reaching just below your knees.

After this was over you were going to kill him.

Finally, to your great pleasure, he removes the garment off your body, staring deep into your soul. Making sure you were paying attention, he bites his lip – winking at you with his ethereal features. God made sure to pay special courtesy to Taehyung when shaping him, you were sure of it. How refined the lines of his eyes were, the high structure of his gorgeous cheekbones and arch of his luscious lips. You just knew he took extra care in making this human beyond divine.

When he has you hypnotized under him like he wanted, he brings your panties up to his face, deeply inhaling your scent.

You gasp at the action. Noting taking your eyes off of him as he groans into your underwear and grabs his bulge.

At this point your pussy was spasming around nothing. And the worst part was that he hadn’t even touched you properly.

“Shhh,” He pats your inner thigh as you shake in the bed, rubbing it up and down. “It’s okay.”

“Taehyung, FUCK…please just fuck me Taehyung ple- AHH”

Your voice wandered off as he abruptly shoved his tongue into you once again, this time going inside of you. Taehyung holds down your quivering thighs as he sucks your juices in. His nails dig into the sensitive skin, leaving angry red marks in their wake. Growling at your essence, he moves his tongue to lick along your clit using two fingers to push into your pussy, making you cry out. He expertly scissors your insides, moving his digits apart before curling them and licking harder each time you clamped around them. On the other hand, you were a mess. Your eyeballs rolled into the back of your head and you were sputtering nonsense as Taehyung continued to taste you.

“Yes, Oh my God, yes Tae!”

When you were about to cum, he removes himself, emitting the loudest whine from your throat. Hot tears spill down your cheeks and he wipes them away with his hand.

Putting your leg over his shoulder, he coos, kissing your ankles down to your calves. That’s when he finally unbuckled his pants, dragging them down to his mid-thighs. He takes out his dick, the head red and angry with a bead of precum leaking from the slit. With a grunt, he spits into his hand, stroking himself while eyeing your pretty cunt. With a weak conscious, you observe how his fingers glide through his shaft. Sliding over every vein and artery that has you drooling in delight.

“Tell me who you belong to.” He says in a chillingly sunken voice, pupils no longer well-lit.

“Ummh Taeeee.” You weren’t able to comprehend anything except the fact you wanted to be the one touching his dick.

“Say it.” He says again in the same tone, “Say it or you’re never getting this cock.”

Your eyes widen as you hear him. Before today, you ‘ve never been the one to be into such dirty talk. Possessive talk in it’s owned creeped you out. But the last thing you gave a shit about at the moment were your morals, practically throbbing for him to be inside you. So, with your womanhood screaming at you to answer him, you do.

“YES! Taehyung, I belong to you, only you. Please, please, please just fuck me.”

With a dark smirk and a peck on your lips, he lines the head of his dick with your entrance. Entering you calmly. His mouth hangs open as he inches inside you, observing every ounce of your face. The pleasure, the grimace, the lust. All of this belonged to him.

What you felt first was the contrast of your naked – vulnerable torso, to his fully clothed exterior. Unbeknownst to you, he was making a clear statement by keeping his clothes on. Even though the tight pants attached onto his thigh were uncomfortable, it’s still worth it if you know who’s in charge around here. It didn’t seem like you cared about the power dynamic though as Taehyung filled you to the brim. Definitely not as much as he did.

Moaning, you grab onto his arms, your sweaty palms helping his shirt stick onto you and holding your breath as he settles inside. He gives you a minute to adjust, peppering light kisses on your forehead and cheeks. Some part of him believed that he was just dreaming – maybe this one another one of those hallucinations he had about you since you first entered his life. That was another reason he hated you.

Because at night, when he was completely alone after another day of you being over, he would jerk himself off to thoughts about fucking your tight cunt in front of everyone. Letting all the members know, especially the tallest, that you were his as he thrusted into you from behind on the dorm’s dinner table. What he wouldn’t do to see the look on their faces. You were way tighter than he could ever imagine.

And well, at least one part of his wish came true. As you mumble his name and your muscles relax around him, he gradually takes his dick out, his brows furrowing in ecstasy. Then he slams into you again balls deep, making you scream. He repeats that action, over and over until the bed his practically flying in rhythm with his thrusts.

“Ahh Fuuu- Tae, I’m gonna-” You moan out loud, feeling lightheaded from him moving above you and the mattress moving beneath you.

“Not yet,” He commands, “Hold it for me.”

You sob as he continues to push into you at a rapid pace, his thick girth hollowing out your insides. Every time he would hit your cervix, you let out a small scream wrapping your legs firmer around him. There was no way you were going to last, but you had to. So, you clench your abdominal muscles uncomfortably and just cry your heart out. But it wasn’t working, you could still feel that knot inside your gut. With nothing to focus on you look up at his face, feeling surprised to have his hardened stare on you.

“Tae…” You whine, trailing your eyes down his jaw up to his neck. His choker was trembling around at the force of the movements, the fox charm dangling up and down.

Suddenly it leaves your sight, his tan skin, the choker, his misty orbs and his dick. You barely have time to think as you were turned around in one swift motion, eyes now facing the headboard. Taehyung’s muscular arms hold you up by the waist as he shoves into you once again.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck,” He repeats with every thrust while you have our jaw hanging open and spit dripping down your chin.

“Tell me who you belong to,” He snarls almost inhumanely, “Say- fuck- who’s bitch you are! Whose whore are you? Who mmh- owns your pretty pussy, huh? Say IT!”

“Oh my God, oh my God, I belong to you, Ahh- I’m yours, your whore…ughhh it’s yours.”

“You’re mine.” He growls before hitting your ass so hard it has you lurching forward and cumming.

Your face lands into the mattress, your cries muffled by the sheets as your body convulses. White spots paint your vision as you feel yourself blackout for a second, air being knocked out of you.

“FUCK!” He roars, still thrusting into you a few more times before he settles all the way inside your tight walls and shoots his cum deep within you.

Taehyung falls down next you, staring at the white ceiling of his apartment. It takes him a while to get himself together, his chest heaving and mind hazy. With a curse, he removes his leather pants off his legs completely and throws them to the side, sighing in relief.

Then he glances at you, who’s heavily breathing in the same position. Face planted on the bed with your ass in the air. He moves his arms around you, gently shifting you over until your back collided with his chest. Running a hand through your hair, he pats your stomach that’s aching from how hard he was gripping it. Kissing over the bite marks at the conjecture between your neck and your shoulder. You whine lowly in thanks at the comfort he was providing your sore muscles.

“You alright?” He asks softly, sounding like a human once again

“I’m great.” You say with a smile as a bit of your energy comes back. Turning on the bed until your face to face with him, you give him a peck on his lips. “That was…”

“Something.” He finishes for you

You laugh, “Yes, something.”

He just stares at you with a grin. An unreadable emotion in his eyes.

“What is it?” You whisper

“Nothing…just your laugh is the most beautiful thing on earth.”

“Oh my God.” You blush as he gives you a boxy smile. So, this is Kim Taehyung of BTS, huh?

“Only laugh for me,” He suddenly says, “You’re mine, after all.”

A strange, uncomfortable feeling washes over you. The words you thought were just bedroom talk making an appearance in the moment after made you mildly lose your smile. It was really weird how he kept making an emphasis on that while fucking you anyway, until you lost yourself and agreed. But those kind of things happen with sex right? It’s normal. However, how are you supposed to deal with them after sex?

Maybe you were making a big deal out of nothing. His face was spirited, so he was just joking around. He’s not serious, you tell yourself…hoping you were correct.

“Sure.” You reply casually, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him to stop him from saying another odd thing. It was going to ruin the mood plus the start of whatever this new thing was between you both.

It works, as he quickly holds onto you securely and licks into your mouth. You focus on how good it feels to caress his tongue with yours, ignoring the part of him repeatedly uttering ‘mine’ into your mouth.

You gasp as you feel his erection on your thigh, moving back to see the smirk on his face as he grabs your sore ass with his palm.

It was going to be a long night.

_

You woke in a sunny room to hear the shower running.

It took you a minute to figure out where you were since you did have a bit to drink last night. That’s why there was a small headache forming behind your eyes. A strumming passing through you the more conscious you become.

You smile.

That’s right, this was Kim Taehyung’s bedroom. The man you just fucked last night. The guy you’ve had a crush on for 4 years now. What a champ you are! With an inhale you sit up, hissing instantly at your sore hips. Boy, did you two fuck last night.

What were you both now? Friends? Lovers? You could never be sure with that Gucci loving kid, but you weren’t too concerned seeing as how you had the rest of the morning to talk about it.

You whine as you rub your bottom, cringing as you think about how awkwardly you’d be strutting for the rest of the day. As you check the time on his digital clock, you thank god today was your day off or else your company would’ve had your head. No class today either, how perfect. 

Leisurely exhaling, you decide to get up and maybe join Taehyung in his shower. A smirk rests on your lips. He’d like that, right?

Before you can think any further about getting frisky with the blonde man, you notice your green dress still on the floor.

You gasp.

Yujin!

Looking around the floor you spot your handbag by the corner of the doorway. How did it get there and when did you drop it? In a flash, you rush to pick it up, walking back towards the bed butt-naked as you dig through it. You fish out your phone as you get by the bed. Facing the large window by the nightstand.

Pursing your lips, you open the screen recoiling at how many missed calls there were. Yujin tried calling you two to three times and texted you once. Then you’re guessing she reached out to Namjoon who was blowing up your phone the entire night! With his last call being at 5:17 in the morning.

You wince. Great. Last night you had put your phone on silent because recently a spam call had been terrorizing you. Though, after you stepped out of your front door, you should have made sure to turn the sound back on – for safety reasons, but you completely forgot.

What if you got stuck inside a house with a creep? The thought alone makes you shudder.

Whatever, it’s not that bad. You’ll just let Namjoon know you’re ok. There weren’t any reasons for you to tell him where you were – or who you were with so you’ll just leave that part out. For now.

Unlocking your phone, you click your messages app to send Namjoon a quick ‘I’m good. Had a fun night😉’ You’re concentrated on typing, hearing the little ticks every time you click the screen, which is why you don’t notice the bathroom door opening and steam charging out of it, warming up the room. Taehyung, with a towel hanging around his waist, softly steps close to your figure facing away from him – before he tackles you into a back hug.

It was a sight he could get used to. Your beautiful naked form, lounging around his house covered with his marks. He groaned into your skin. Fuck breakfast, he was ready for the fifth round.

“Oh!” You let out in surprise.

“Good morning.” He says, peppering kissing into your neck and tracing over his lovebites with the tip of his tongue. You shift your head to the side to allow him a better angle.

“Good morning.” You reply back in giggles as you continue typing.

For a moment he just stands there, rocking you back and forth with his large arms wrapped around your waist. When he detects that you’re not paying him any attention, he pouts. Putting his chin on your shoulder to see what was keeping you from him.

“What’re you doing?” He whines in your ear in annoyance

“Oh, Namjoon texted me a few times last night but my phone was on silent,” You should’ve noticed how dark his eyes got, how quickly his smile left him for something else – something more sinister. But you were too distracted typing out a reply to your freaked-out friend. 

“I’m just letting him know I’m-”

Suddenly he removes his arms off you and your phone gets snatched away from and you watch it be thrown across the room. Crashing into the wall and making an awful cracking sound. In shock you stare at the place it was thrown at, processing what just happened.

“I’m really sick and tired of Namjoon’s name coming out of your mouth.” Taehyung sneers, getting into your personal space.

There was still nothing registering in your mind as you heard the anger in Taehyung’s voice. You turn around with your brain in a muddled mess. It felt like the alcohol was finally hitting you.

Taehyung stood there in pure, unadulterated rage. He’s been this way with you many times…but this time it’s different. There was something off about the way he towered over you. It rattled your bones, your defense mechanisms kicking in, making you shift your feet towards the exit.

“Wha-”

“You wish it was him, don’t you? You wish he was the one fucking you in the bed for hours! You wanted him to mark you up – make you his pretty little cumslut! You wanted to scream his name as you came for the fourth time! DIDN’T YOU?!”

Spitting into your face, he grabs your cheeks with his oversized hand and let’s his nails dig into your soft skin in a fury. There’s nothing but madness swirling inside his pupils. You set your hands on his wrist, trying to pull him off. It was fruitless as he didn’t budge, just continued to fan your face with hot, weighty breaths. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes as your heartbeat accelerated. In that moment all you could think about was getting away from the blonde.

With the last exert of your strength, you somehow you manage to push him away from you. As soon as you do, your palm makes contact with the taller man’s cheek. The sound echoes throughout the room, making you back away from him even further. Slowly his skin becomes rosy, an ugly handprint forming across his cheek as he raises his head back up to look at you. You emit a gasp, the tears from before pouring out your sockets.

There was absolutely nothing in his eyes – in his face. No pain, no anger…there was absolutely no emotion. You were frightened by his sudden cold exterior. It was as if he was a hollow shell. An empty soul. He seemed…insane.

“You’re crazy.” You mumble, but you knew he heard it.

For a second it feels like there was something that flashed across his eyes. Something akin to pain, but you didn’t care. You needed to get the hell out of here, so you looked away from him and searched the bedroom. Grabbing your purse, you pick up your dress from the floor and ran to where he threw your phone. Picking it up, you open it to see that’s still working with just a small fracture on the bottom edge of the screen. You’ve never been more thankful for having a phone case. With that you quickly run out of the room, not caring about your undergarments.

In the hallway, you haphazardly throw on your dress while sniffling. The apartment no longer entranced you, instead you felt suffocated and frightened. He…wouldn’t run after you would he. God, please no. Grabbing your phone, you hesitate whether to call Namjoon…but somehow decide against it. The one thought in your mind was to get away from this place – get away from him. You flinch as you think you hear Taehyung call out your name and rush towards and out the door, not waiting for what he had to say. 

Not looking back.

_

Taehyung was a mess.

It had been a few weeks since your abrupt departure and he couldn’t get you out of his head. 

Actually, he hasn’t gotten you out of his head since he first saw you, but this time it was worse. Whenever he closed his eyes, he could see your teary face and the absolute disgust for him swimming in your irises. It hurt him so much. He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep. All he could think about was the day he finally held you in his arms just for you to run off.

Because of his terrible health habits, he had been looking extremely tired for the past few days. His face was molded into permanent indifference, a pathetically downcast expression on his lips. He knew the fans had noticed, a couple of them made fanclub posts about it. But he honestly couldn’t find it within him to give a fuck. His manager and the members had all been worried for him – asked him if something’s wrong multiple times but he continued to brush them off. For some reason he found it difficult to communicate with anyone that wasn’t you at the moment.

And you definitely weren’t around. So where does that leave him?

Taehyung wondered if you’ve been doing well, compared to him. Since you wouldn’t want to see him, he hasn’t tried to go visit you. Even though he was dying to see you – basically killing himself – he just couldn’t do that to you. Instead he texted you a bunch of times, tried to call you in numerous ways and even asked Namjoon of your whereabouts daily. All he wanted to tell you was that he was willing to change for you, only if that’d get you to come back to him. There was a lot he would do if it meant you would look at him again. Yet nothing came of it, not even Namjoon could get ahold of you.

He resorted to desperate measures to remove you from his mind. Tried to hook-up with other girls, tried to drink the loneliness away, tried hanging out with A-list celebrities – people way more important than a mere college student could ever be. None of that came close to filling the void left in his heart, no drink or famous person could touch his soul. The other girls didn’t compare to you, hell – he couldn’t even get it up with them! Soon there’d be an article in some C-grade gossip column about how Kim Taehyung of BTS was sexually impotent, he just knew it.  

All of his methods didn’t do anything but get him into trouble from his company.

With nothing to take out his frustration on, Taehyung began to utilize what secular part of you you left behind. Your panties. Every night, drunk and alone in his bedroom – he would stuff your delicates into his mouth, stroke himself in harsh paces and imagine fucking the daylights out of you while crying out into his dark apartment. Other times he would wrap the fabric around his shaft, gently stroking his dick until he came by thinking about making sweet love to you. Your soft hair, the glow of your plump lips, your wet folds. He really missed you. It made him a mess.

This is all your fault! See, this is exactly why he hated you. Because you found a way to entrap him into your little game and now he was obsessed with you. You! Who didn’t even care! That one night meant everything to him and you had just disappeared like it was nothing. A simple bump in the road. Taehyung was mentally exhausted.

That’s why as he was performing their newest song – some EDM track that had a difficult dance attached to it, he was making so many mistakes that he wasn’t able to count them anymore. Because of him, the course of the movements had fallen apart and none of the members seemed to be doing as well as they practiced. He just didn’t have the ability to concentrate; the bright stage lights and the overwhelming atmosphere couldn’t bring him back to reality. Instead made him dizzy the more he moved around. The members were trying hard to make up for most of his errors, especially Jungkook who was performing some of his parts for him. Even in front of millions of fangirls all he could think about was you.

Namjoon was glaring at him through the whole performance. The older man only smiling once it was his solo part in front of the camera. He ignored most of it, but it still made him a tad furious. After all, Namjoon was the reason he was in this predicament.

As soon as the performance ends, Taehyung rushes off the stage while the others chat with their fans for a bit. Everyone behind him makes a fuss, angry and sad chants from both the crowd and his members annoy him. Backstage he continues pushing past the staff and the managers coming scold him. All he wanted to do was get a drink of water.

When he gets in the waiting room, he sighs in relief to find it empty. The senior stylists must’ve head up stage to retouch the member’s makeup in case of another retake. He walks to the table filled with refreshments, grabbing the nearest water bottle and twisting the cap open carelessly.

The cap falls to the ground but he just proceeds to drink the cool liquid and drown out his tension. As he’s halfway through, he hears another presence’s shoes stepped into the room.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

It’s Namjoon.

Well, maybe Taehyung should’ve expected this. He was the leader and all. Namjoon had no choice but to make sure the members performed without trouble. Or he’d be the one to get it.

“What do you mean?” Taehyung replies nonchalantly. Going back to drinking his water as Namjoon steps up close to him, the man’s musk filling up the room.

“You know exactly what I mean.”

“Listen, if you’re talking about the performance- I’ve just been having a hard time lately an-”

“That’s not what I mean,” Namjoon growls making Taehyung glance at him for the first time since he came in. “I’m not stupid Tae, you’re acting up around the same time ___ refuses to answer any of my calls. Something she’s never done before.”

He looks towards the floor for a second before looking back up at the blonde with wide, angry eyes.

“Did…Did you do something to her?”

Taehyung tries to keep his cool. It was hard to do that with your name coming out of the elder’s mouth. Even though he tries to be level-headed, he can’t help the mocking sneer that breaks past his lips.

“I slept with her.” Taehyung says, subtly trying to mark his territory

In an instant, Namjoon is upon him. Grabbing his collar and pushing him against the wall, where his head collided hard with the off-white cement. Making him wince.

“YOU BASTARD. I swear to God if you’re just taking advantage of her-”

“STOP TALKING LIKE THAT. LIKE YOU OWN HER.” Taehyung spits back, “She belongs to me, she’s mine.”

For a second, he thinks he’s won as Namjoon loosens his grip on his collar and stares into his orbs in bewilderment. A small smirk presents itself on his face at his victory, before the irritation in Namjoon’s face comes back, as he grits his teeth.

“You think you’re special just because you made her cum?” Namjoon says in a low, steady tone of voice

Taehyung’s smile falls

“You’re late but…welcome to the club.” Namjoon lets out his own cocky smile directed at the younger, watching the way his eyes widen almost dramatically.

Namjoon lets go of his collar, scoffing before walking away from the man. He knew he was being a bit childish and you’d probably kill him if you ever found out about this but he was too pumped up to care at the moment.

As he gets to the end of the room, he stops and places his hand on the wall by the entryway.

“By the way,” He peeks over his shoulder “Get it together out there. We’re doing another take in 5.”

With that he leaves the room. 

Taehyung stands there, staring at the spot where Namjoon once stood with inexplicable emotions. 

Even though Namjoon has supposedly won this conversation, what he failed to acknowledge was the absolute fury in Taehyung’s eyes.

Pure rage flowed through his veins as Namjoon’s words replayed over and over in his head. Did he just imply that he…slept with you? That he got to taste your sweet cunt? That he ran his fingers over the expanse of your silky skin? He got to fill you to the brim – got to mark you up with his pretty littles stars?

That he touched what belonged to Taehyung?

He roars in agony, throwing his water and flipping over a table of refreshments. Everything clatters and bangs until he’s left observing the mess littering the floor. His breathing is uneven as his pupils become unfocused. The whole room was suddenly spinning and he stumbles in place for a bit as he feels like the walls are closing in on him. Grabbing his forehead, he blocks his vision with his clothed arms.

He touched something of his, he sullied his property and Taehyung couldn’t stand it. In the middle of his havoc, it hits him like a ton of bricks. What kind of a man had he become in the present years? Is this the values his father instilled in him? Is this how he’ll waste his blood, sweat and tears? In the large waiting room, it felt as if the temperature dropped below freezing as Taehyung straightened himself out - holding onto his dignity with a new-found cause. 

He wasn’t going to let the elder get away with this. He couldn’t. His face was vacant, his throat dry and his orbs deadpan. A horrid idea formulating behind his cold facade.

No…he has to pay. Namjoon’s going to regret ever breathing in your direction when he’s done dealing with Taehyung’s wrath.

Everyone needed to know that Taehyung doesn’t share what’s rightfully his.

_

Namjoon sighed and stretched his sore tendons as he gazed into the deep blue night.

Everything was a clutter in his life. You wouldn’t pick up his phone or answer his texts. He knew how much he relied on you over the past few years and you always delivered, but this time you went off the grid. Telling him you need some time alone for now. Taehyung, on the other hand was acting like a complete fool. They hadn’t talked since their little ‘run in’ a few days ago with Taehyung missing from the dorms all night. And for the first time since their debut, the members all seemed on guard with one another.

It was silent chaos.

He was just tired, honestly. Sometimes he wishes he could rest his aching muscles, hibernate like a bear and not wake up for a month or two. The leader always has it the worst. Some sunbaes and colleagues have mentioned that to him multiple times and he agrees. Having to keep the group together and remind these fucks that it was literally their job to act professional. If thousands of construction workers can work almost 50 hours a week and still manage to earn less than thirty grand a year, he really didn’t see how a bunch of rich idols on stage could have this much trouble performing properly.

It’s literally the least they could do.

Taehyung had always been sort of a brat. His parents favored him the most, so he’s been spoiled since birth. Once he decides something was his, there was no turning back. Maybe Namjoon would sympathize with him more if he calmly spoke about his possessive issues rather than shout the head off anyone who touched anything of his.

And now he had slept with you.

Shit. This was the worst part. Namjoon knew how Taehyung got around lovers. Rather than humans, they became solely his property – for his own pleasure and needs. He dreaded to think that would become your fate as well, so out of slight childishness he might’ve revealed to Taehyung about that one mutual masturbation memory. Although vaguely.

It honestly meant nothing, he was just trying to protect his oldest friend. He thought if maybe Taehyung found out you were ‘tainted’ by him, he would back off. There would be no interest in him for you any longer, so he wouldn’t dare treat you like an object.

At least that’s what he was shooting for.

With a heavy breath, he stands up off the bench pressed into the grassy roots of the lake’s shore. He peered off into the distance, the serene blue water and faint frog croaks made him break out into a dimpled smile. This was his favorite place. Like Taehyung, everyone has something they dislike sharing right?

For him it was this lake. It was his secret spot. Whenever his mind got too crowded and even breathing gave him a headache, he would come here and watch his worries disappear down into the clear water for a while. The lake always reminded him that he was small, that his tensions and problems were all too small compared to the big wide universe.

It made him think. Perhaps he overreacted and lost his cool there for a second. If Taehyung wanted to date you, it’s not his business to meddle in. You were a grown woman – no matter how young you’d stay in his heart – you could take care of yourself. He’s watched you grow from a tiny snot-nosed girl into a bright young lady with a sharp mind and tender soul. He should trust you.

And Taehyung. Wide-eyed, boxy smiled Taehyung was his brother. A man he’s shared much laughter and tears with, a man he’s shared a room with. These years were never easy, but the blonde always knew how to make Namjoon’s day a tad brighter. He should trust Taehyung.

You were his family, after all.

With a new-found mindset, he smiles, turning away from the water to come home to both of you.  He begins walking on the grassy path, which led into the trees. It was an especially dark night, there was only so much he could squint and see. The parking lot was located on the other side of the road, as the lake area was surrounded by large oak trees. 

There weren’t many people that came here on a Sunday at midnight, which is why it was his favorite time to roam around the area. Some people would mistake it as abandoned with how there were no street lights or rest areas nearby.

As he treads by the trees, he thinks he hears someone stepping on a twig behind him. He stops, turning around into the black forest anxiously. It was too dark to see, so he quiets his breathing, trying to hear any sounds lurking in the branches. A soft wind blows in his face as he can feel himself turning pale.

Nothing. There was no sign of any life.

Even though he’s kind of frightened, he reasons with himself. Animals like squirrels or ducks surround the lake and any one of them could be roaming about. Right?

…But what kind of a squirrel wanders about at 12:34 AM?

Turning back around, he quickens his steps. Ready to get the hell out of here. Because he just watched a horror movie last night, his mind was racing with crazy scenarios.

What if a serial killer roams this lake at this time of night? And he just happens to stumble upon an idiot named Namjoon – or should he say his NEW VICTIM? Who knows what really is beneath that deep murky water? A monster who scours the premises for fresh meat?

Why didn’t he think of any of these issues that could occur with going into a basically deserted side of the city – with a great spot for hiding bodies, let’s point that out – in the middle of the night, beforehand?

When he makes it to the road clearing, he almost cries out of relief. He slows his pace, twisting his body back towards the forest to make sure no one was following him. As his shoes hit the gravel, he can hear himself starting to breathe again. It was still too dark to see, but at least there were no large pieces of bark obstructing his vision.

He was too focused. Too concentrated on the view in his rear to see where he was going.

Too preoccupied to notice how slow he was walking.

He couldn’t hear the lull of the engine. Instead his breath hitching when he catches the leaves of the shrubs ruffling. Halfway through the road, and still looking back. His throat constricting as he sees the fluffy white egret step out from beyond the horde of bushes behind him. Everything goes in slow motion as the bird’s chirp registers in his mind.

He was just too focused on the place he shouldn’t have been.

So, when he finally looked back on the road to spot the car without headlights, heading towards him with full speed-

It was too late.

_

You had gotten the call an hour ago, and you dropped everything to get to him.

Every single feeling in your leg had left long ago. The muscles in your arms were aching and your voice was hoarse from you wailing in the car. There was an overpowering agony moving throughout your body without consent and you found yourself hyperventilating. As you rush up the stairs – too impatient to wait for an elevator – you trip over a step and catch yourself on your hands, facing the grounds of the stairway.

This isn’t real. This can’t be happening.

You take a moment to catch your breath, getting up and running up the steep steps once again. Letting the sensation of being petrified fuel your adrenaline.

He had called your friend. How he got her number, you don’t know. Too distracted by the message the girl came into your dorm room to tell you.

“Taehyung called me! Namjoon’s hurt. It’s bad – they have him in the secret emergency room at Seoul Hospital-”

You didn’t even wait for her to finish her sentence before you bolted out the door. Through your hysterics and terrible traffic, you somehow managed to make it here in once piece. Thankfully, the media hadn’t been informed yet, everyone keeping the top star’s whereabouts strictly confidential. The nurses were rude when you questioned them about Namjoon’s situation, suspected you as a stalker fan and almost had you kicked out of the hospital until Manager Sejin vouched for you. Sejin was in the lobby, holding half full water bottle and had the biggest bags underneath his eyes.

You pleaded with him, begged him to tell you what was going on, but he just stood there facing the floor. With no time to waste on his futility, you barged into the staircase to find your Namjoon.

This couldn’t happen. You couldn’t lose him. He was your tall and goofy best friend. A clumsy yet handsome older brother. He was your family. Guilt dances across your brain at ignoring him this past week. The timing of this tragedy could not get any worse.

When you finally make it to the emergency surgery floor, you barge in – tripping over your own legs.

As you stand up on wobbly legs, Taehyung’s wide eyes make contact with yours. You run up to him like an insane patient, grabbing his arms.

“W-w-what did the doctor say? How is he? WHAT’S GOING ON.”

“Shh, shh,” Taehyung grabs your arms back, “Calm down, it was a hit and run. Driver got away and a local merchant driving by found him on the road. The surgeon’s in there right now. He’ll let us know how he is in a while. Shh.”

With his words you finally allow yourself to breath gain. Loud cries leave your lips as you clench your eyes shut. Taehyung pats your head, trying to calm your down.

Rubbing your teary eyes, you look around the empty waiting room in confusion.

“Where are the others?”

“I sent the members home, they’ve been up all day. They were reluctant but I told them I’d stay behind no matter how long it takes. His parents are catching the next available flight. They’ll be here by tomorrow morning.”

You steady your exhales as you listen to him speak, “Why didn’t you call me sooner?”

“I did. You didn’t pick up. I had to somehow find Yujin’s number and tell her to tell you.” He states calmly

His maturity in this whole situation embarrasses you. Why had you been acting like such a brat to everyone in the past couple of days? Ignoring texts and phone calls. Cutting off contact with your best friend. Just because of a small misunderstanding between you and Taehyung. What was wrong with you?

“Taehyung…I’m sorr-”

The door of the surgery room opens, making your words hang in midair. The doctor comes out looking tired, removing his face masks and gloves in the entranceway. Letting go of Taehyung, you rush up to him.

“Doctor, h-how is he?”

Taehyung tsks under his breath as you leave his side immediately for news on Namjoon. A dark cloud gathers around his head as his eyes pierce the place you once stood with hate. He turns around carefully, masking his malevolent expression with that of worry.

Years of idol training had paid off well.

“He’s fine for now,” The doctor states in exhaustion, “He was hurt pretty badly, the back of his cranium had fractured slightly, and he broke his left arm and four ribs. We’ve managed to stitch up most of his open wounds but there was a lot of internal bleeding. We’ll have to wait through the night for signs of his progress.”

The doctor pats your shoulder, before walking around you towards the end of the hall. You stand there in shock for a couple of seconds before turning around to face Taehyung. All it takes is for you to see the pain in his pupils before you run into his arms, holding him in a tight grasp.

You cry into his chest as Taehyung wraps himself around you and continues to pat your head.

“Shhh, he’ll be okay. It’ll be alright.” Taehyung coos into your hair, as your tears soaked through his shirt.

What you don’t know is about the wicked smirk gracing his features as he stares a hole through the door of the room that contained Namjoon. His plan had gone way better than he had hoped, and you were finally here beside him once again.

He has to admit, he was scared of getting caught. Who else would have known about his location except his previous roommate who’s he’s shared drunken secrets with. But he knew there was no way Namjoon had seen anything in that dark road and he knows no one would suspect him, his own brother, for trying to kill Namjoon. He was restless all morning, even skipped breakfast and for what? Everything went perfect.

Taehyung smothers your trembling form, running his hands up and down your back for comfort. 

He wasn’t sure what he was going to do now. Should he wait for Namjoon to die? Maybe help him along the way? Or should he let him live and let this be a lesson to him?

Backing up, he cups your face in his hands. You were broken, continuing to weep as you settled into his fingers. Kissing your forehead, he rubs his thumbs across your cheeks, wiping away all the tears.

Well, whatever he decides to do can wait. Right now, your being nearby was all that mattered. In the end Taehyung wonders if he’s ever hated you. I mean, how was he supposed to know the one he hated was the man he shared a table with? The man who he shared a bed with out of scarcity? Maybe, subconsciously Taehyung hated sharing with the taller man at all. So much so, that all the distribution piled up in his mind until he could no longer stand it.

Maybe he hated how Namjoon took advantage of your generosity, knowing you were a busybody with a help everyone mentality painted across your forehead. He hated how many hours you spent talking to him. Going on and on about God knows what. And he absolutely despised how much time he got to spend with you on an average basis.

Maybe sleeping with you was just the last straw. He was done giving Namjoon anymore chances.

“Taehyung…stay with me tonight.” You whimper to him and he can’t tell those doll eyes no.

They’re his doll’s eyes, aren’t they?

“Of course, baby.” He replies in a low voice, smiling as you hug him once again.

It was all starting to make sense now. Namjoon was fighting for his life while you were holding onto Taehyung for dear life. This is karma for trying to take what belongs to him. Because at the end of the day, everyone knows Taehyung doesn’t give away his possessions. That he protects his property in his own twisted way.

He can’t help but think this is what the older man deserves – this that Taehyung shall refer to as Namjoon’s fair share.

After all, Taehyung hated him for many reasons.

[vintage-brass-tc]

Band Camp with M  -  Day 1/3

5/25/2021

So, as I mentioned previously, it’s about that time to have band camp with all of my peers. What makes things even better is that I get to spend the day with M as well. 

This turned out longer than expected! So, without further ado, I’ll go ahead and share everything that happened with M and I today.

|||||||||||||||||||||||| 

When I had arrived, the students began gathering where we were told to. The students entered one by one, forming a line. Almost halfway through my trek, I specifically saw M’s bald head onstage, just past an opening in the crowds’. It had a slightly red-orange-ish tinted shine on it, which intensified his boldness (and baldness🤟) further. 

My head was running a hundred miles per minute yet at the same time it felt still. And I was borderline speechless. A few seconds later, we were out in the open, nearing M. He was now six feet away from us, looking down, supposedly mentally preparing himself to speak to the class. As I thought, he was attending the event maskless. He was absolutely STUNNING with the lower half of his face revealed. Way better than I remember. I couldn’t stop looking at him, and to my delight he looked in my direction pretty quickly upon my first entrance. 

I lifted my right hand, which was wielding a drawstring bag, to greet him. He seemed to stare at me for a couple of seconds in a daze. After the questioning wore off, he widened his eyes and smiled, bringing his left hand up in the air to wave right back. He cheerfully commented after doing this, “I’m seeing a lot of faces!” I thought it was cute; his positivity was contagious. 

I actually had a mask on at that time so HAJDGA he wasn’t talking about me there 😳 

 ~~ 

I sat down in one of the first rows of the seating with my section. When we got settled with all of our stuff, (I think I decided to put my mask up during the process), I figured I would take the time to look up at M. His face was peering out into the crowd with squinted eyes and furrowed brows. 

I giggled to myself quietly at his behavior. “What is he doing??” I asked under my breath, bringing someone else to look at him too. I put my hands out in front of me to emphasize my confusion as I gave him a look mixed with entertainment, judgement, and questioning. He noticed my look quite fast, probably because of my exaggerated gestures. 

When we met eyes and he realized my complete bewilderment, he tried to suppress a smirk, but failed. I could still see the ends of his lips curving upwards and his body beginning to tremble lightly, as if he wanted to laugh too. After somewhere around four seconds of eye contact, he directed his eyes back forward, still grinning slightly. 

Then he puckered his lips out around thirty seconds later in accompaniment with his scrunched up eyebrows. I think he was doing it to be funny, either to me, or to others who thought his expressions were laughable as well. 

~~ 

Whenever he called my section to raise our hands up for attendance, we were actually the only ones he gave pure complements to. I say this because either the other sections were slow or didn’t raise their hand up straight. “We all here?” Since someone’s body was blocking me in that moment, I perked my head out from their right side, still holding my hand up.

He seemed to be already trying to look past their side for me, and when he finally confirmed I was there he met my eye with a grin. He then jokingly made a statement about our section being brutal and trying to nod people off. Maybe because I was being covered by someone else. 

 ~~ 

He called on me to answer a question he had, stating it was the final one. “R?” He said my name aloud before I said anything, which I don’t remember him doing with anyone else. I stuttered slightly before answering the question, but he still took it in nonetheless. 

I thought it was nice he chose me over a few others to be the last person to answer. 

~~

After receiving the signal, everyone got their instruments and headed straight for their designated locations. It took quite a bit before I could adjust to using the contrabass tuba effectively, but after twenty minutes or so I got the basics down. All I needed following that was the strength to suck up the soreness in my limbs and get to work. 

In the middle of our section’s powwow, just before we began another exercise, M decided it would be a great time to hop in and see what was up in contracity. He walked in the room, greeted with the prying eyes of students. Before I knew it, one tuba kid was telling M a story about one of their marching experiences. Then boom, another kid was telling M a story about one of *their* marching experiences. 

Both times M was looking at them and listening respectfully. During the second kid’s story, M was standing right next to the person speaking, turned towards them, which was opposite from where I was. At some point, the kid said something I found humorous, so I let out a laugh. 

As I began to softly rest my head on my hand to continue listening, M turned over his right shoulder to cast a momentary gaze at me. I met the look he displayed with a joyful smile to match his own. I’m glad he did that, it was nice feeling at least a little included when he was around. 

A bit later, standing in the same spot next to my left side, he turned towards the center of the room and beamed. “It’s so nice to see your faces again.” This very statement made the class ‘aww’ and smile. I aww’ed as well and replied with “you too”. Soon he left to ‘stop interrupting us’ and allow us to continue practicing. The visit was definitely a nice surprise. 

~~ 

I was walking past M when we met eyes with each other and smiled. 

“Are you sore?” He asked me, as he knew very well that I wasn’t used to carrying contras. “A little,” I rotated my hand left and right in the air in case he couldn’t hear me. He replied with a simple yet powerful look radiating happiness instead of using words, seeing that I was currently on my way to do something. Very thoughtful of him. 

~~ 

 I feel the need to mention how M would whip his head in my direction almost EVERY TIME the drum major would call for the tubas to get set. He didn’t look at anyone else when he did this. I’m a good percentage sure that he was always just gazing straight at me. 

I don’t know why he felt the need to do that so often, but it was definitely a motivator to improve my posture for him. Having M as a director again in general is just a blessing and huge reason to try hard. He’s very motivational. ^^ 

~~

During our mini-sectional time, we were taking a little break from playing on our instruments. We got through a couple rounds of ‘Two Truths, One Lie’ when M walked through the door. 

“Hiii MMMMMMMMM!!” Most of the kids and I gushed in an unsynchronized manner. M looked flabbergasted at the sudden attention, his eyes huge and his face bewildered, but smiling as well. Right away, he went to go and lean against the table closest to me, to my right. It was sort of unreal that he was just...there. Two feet away from me.

“What are you doing? Have you played yet?” He asked us all with a semi-serious expression. We all said yes to this question. He leaned forward slightly.  “Have you gotten really good yet?” His tone became more playful. “Slow progress, M. Slowly improving.” I threw my head back to look at him as I stated those thoughts. 

A second later, I returned my head upright and turned to him once again, wearing a welcoming face. “Do you want to join us?” I referred to the game of ‘Two Truths One Lie’. It didn’t take long for him to say “no, I don’t.”, but he seemed interested in what was happening anyway. 

The entire time he was there he remained right by my side. I got to see him laughing, smiling, and merely being there. It was amazing. 

~~

“Hola,” he greeted a tubist and I as we walked past each other. “Hola!” The tubist cheered pretty quickly as they moved past. I was pretty caught off guard because of the Spanish greeting he used for some reason, so I hesitated before mustering out a response to him. “...Hello.” 

We then continued going our own way. 

~~

Seeing that he was open, I came up to him to ask about the previously mentioned outdoor essentials since we were going outside tomorrow. “So we bring the hat and the sunglasses tomorrow, right?” He looked at me with blank eyes for a second before asking, “..what?” He blinked slow and apologetically while he leaned towards me to listen better. 

“Do we bring the hat and sunglasses tomorrow?” “Yeah, you can bring them if you want to.” He looked at me intently and grinned a bit after his simple response. “Cool. Thank you.” I didn’t push the conversation any further. “Sure.” 

I turned to walk away and completed a step or two before pausing to look back at what happened in these last eight hours. I brought myself back to the earlier comments he let out that day, revealing how unsure he was of the whole band camp ordeal, and whether or not he would be doing good enough for everyone he taught. He hasn’t regularly taught these kids yet anyway (thanks COVID). I whipped my body around, took a step, then leaned left towards him with a smile. I felt my expression begin to grow sincere. 

“....Good job today.” I said aloud, hoping he would hear me.

Luckily, he did. He moved his head over to me and his gaze grew wide in surprise after realizing the compliment I gave out was for him. It was like a little (..!) going off in his head. 🥺 “Thank you!” He beamed at me. I returned his look before turning to leave again. 

“You too.” 

He added the last part just when I began to walk away with my contra in hand.

My heart absolutely EXPLODED at his thoughtfulness?!??! Like wow he didn’t have to say that...especially since I was walking away and stuff. It was so sweet.

I turned over my left shoulder to look at him again, feeling a lively rush of optimism flow through me. Not only was he already looking my way after his statement; he was granting me the warmest, most genuine smile he could muster. I returned it as equally as I could. 

Hopefully he could tell how cheerful the statement made me. I mean, it seriously improved my entire week. 

||||||||||||||||||||||||

Whether it be listening to his instruction, laughing at his jokes, making silent eye contact, making physical contact, talking to each other, or just simply being in the same room . . . it’s such a magnificent experience for me. And that appreciation I have for him almost feels mutual. Almost. 

I hope you all have a great evening. I may post day 2 later or tomorrow. Stay awesome, and I’ll get back to you all soon enough.

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

A Little Bit Like Home

You moving to school has been tougher than Calum would like to admit but there are some moments that make it easier to bear, there are small moments where it’s not so bad. 

A continuation of these two blurbs (Blurb 1 and Blurb 2) Again it’s hella self indulgent. Inspired what really happened to me in my DnD campaign, see this post.  

**Contains spoilers for the Waterdeep Heist from Dungeons & Dragons if you are currently playing that module!!!**

Enjoy my masterlist!

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___________

“Can I make a perception check on the walls? See if there’s anything else funky in this room?” you ask, clicking over in your browser tab to the dice roller. The DM allows you to make that call and you click on the d20. 

“Your the only one rolling well on those things tonight,” one member of your party, playing an Orc sent out to learn magic and getting packed in with your ragtag group, notes after their failed attempt to pick the lock. You managed to pick that that too, but you chalk it up to you being a Drow Rogue and lock picking being one of your skills. 

“18,” you call out, looking back at your character sheet to make sure you’ve done the math correctly. 

“18?” The DM asks, just to be sure. You nod. “Okay, so you look around the room and there’s not really anything worth noting besides some dirt and blood. But no traps, no buttons in this room.”

“This room,” the entire party echoes laughing. The six of you have just survived barely a lightning trap. Which you still refuse to admit to setting up, but it was definitely you since as the marching order had you in front. 

“We’re going to have to go back to that mimic room,” the paladin of your group declares. Your party was warned that the room at the start of your adventure in this hell of a magic maze could be a trap and a mimic could be in the depths of it. But there was a chest still yet to be opened. However, you took the advice of your Orc and backed out of that room to avoid a fight just yet. 

Your previous encounters in other rooms leaving some of your party is better shape than others. This early in your adventure together the five of you didn’t really want to risk loosing anyone just yet. Lightening and your pirates love of ale seemed to be your only foe at the moment. 

“We should maybe just see what’s in here first,” Calum, playing as a Druid, counters. “Though it seems like if we find yet another key to a door that’s already been picked, it’s might be useless.” 

You know the tease is directed at you. “Hey, look here buddy, I will not hesitate to shoot a quiver into your ass. I see a lock I’m going to pick it,” you defend. 

“Besides,” your party’s pirate starts, “we’ve ducked a lot of rooms afraid of getting into another fight. If they pick a lock or two and we find the key later, at least we can add to the Bard’s collection.”

“Thank you,” you laugh. 

Soon your party’s able to direct their attention back on the adventure and magic maze you’ve found yourself in. You and Calum end up smashing mirrors in a room to avoid any sort of magic in them that would cause your party to fight your soul doubles. This leads to a five minute debate of how to leave said room that didn’t involve shoving the unicorn that your party was tasked with finding up someone’s ass due to a riddle unveiled, Everything you see is mine.

“Wait,” you say, laughing at the argument about who can fit the unicorn into their mouth. It was deemed to be more dignified. Your pirate waits outside the room, still naked thanks to the magic that rips all the clothes, weapons, and armor off of anyone that attempts to leave the room. “Everything you see is mine. If the mirrors are smashed, then nothing can be seen right?”

“No, shards can be face up, so technically things can be seen,” the party’s Bard counters. 

“No, no, you’re onto to something,” the pirate starts. 

“Oh my god, we’re so fucking dumb,” the orc hollers. “Someone cover their eyes. You means us. Anything we can see can’t leave the room.”

Thankfully, you’re still dressed having only attempted to leave the room and letting others continue with their naked escapades. “Holy shit,” you shriek as you direct to your DM how you cover your face with your hood and hold it tight around your eyes so you can’t see anything and step through the door. You’re able to cross completely clothed, swords, crossbow, and pack still in tact. 

“We’re so fucking STUPID,” you laugh. 

Calum’s giggle cuts through the speakers of your laptop. “How were we so prepared to just be fucking naked through the rest of this maze?” He directs to the DM that he redresses, having also attempted several times to brute force the magic door with no success. 

“We never speak of that,” the orc demands through their own laughter. “Never.”

The party comes to a stopping point about another hour later, saying goodbyes before leaving the Zoom meeting. Not even thirty seconds later after ending that call, an incoming FaceTime call comes from Calum. You answer it, wiping at the corner of your eyes. He’s grinning as the call finally connects. The weekend that Calum came up to visit, a friend in the cohort asked you if you’d be willing to going a beginner’s campaign. You had wanted to give the game a whirl but you knew it would be a time suck and asked if it was okay to bring someone else along too. 

After getting a yes from the DM you know you had to convince Calum to join in. It took less effort than you thought for him to join in and the two of you spent a couple hours the night before picking out your characters before you emailed the information back to the DM. Now every Saturday night you and Calum spend about three hours in a Zoom getting into all sorts of trouble. He settled easily on the Druid but spent forever trying to find an artist rendering of his character, Okolian, that felt right. Long black hair with streaks of white was a must along with a single braid as well, which he stole from your character’s look though your hair is all white. 

Slowly, it was decided that Okolian would have blue skin muscular, but not overly buff and refused to wear sleeves in order to wear leather arm bands around his biceps which could easily be mistaken for tattoos or markings of his people. Okolian prefers his staff but is also armed with a sickle and mace. The Calum touch of course was to add ferns rather than feathers. 

“I can’t believe you were going to let me be the one to have to figure out the unicorn,” Calum teases. 

“Hey, it was only six inches. Not that bad.”

He sputters his laughter. “Is that payback for calling you out for picking all the locks?”

“I would never do such a thing but maybe.” 

“Anything else on the agenda for tonight?”

“No not really. Whatever work there is out in the world, I’ll get to it tomorrow. What about you? The night’s still young.”  

Calum shrugs. “A friend was supposed to get back to me about drinks tonight,  but I haven’t heard anything yet. If he gets back within the hour or so, I’ll probably tag along but if not, it’s not a big deal. But you never did tell me about last night. How’d that go?”

You cover your face for a second, remember how many drinks were consumed the night previously. Calum laughs at the slightly panicked look that crosses your face. “There was two drinks too many past my usual limit and I felt it. Big time,” you answer. 

He’s glad to hear you getting out more. It’s in turned made him feel a bit better about getting back to his normal routine, getting dinner more with the guys or other friends. Missing you doesn’t hurt so bad anymore for Calum. He feels most often right before he’s going to bed, when he’d normally curl up into your side and open his arms wide for you to curl up into him. But it hurts less during the day. 

Getting used to the cohort and getting out a couple Friday’s in the month has helped you as well. You don’t feel so chained to your phone, don’t feel so beholden to being there for every text right away. It’s still hard when you start to cook dinner and almost reach out for a second plate still by habit. And in the morning when you’re fixing your cup of coffee your brain still wants to pull down a second cup. Sometimes you do. Sometimes you just give in because you need it. Need to let yourself sit with those feelings. 

“I’ll be sticking with cider after last night,” you tease. “Wine makes me myself too much. Never doing that again.”

Calum’s been privileged to see you wine drunk a couple of times and he can already imagine the type of trouble you nearly got yourself in. “Is your picture on the wall at the bar?”

“Not that bad, but close,” you giggle. 

“What am I going to do with you?” 

It’s just a joke but for a moment it makes you pause--what’s going to happen when you go back for break? Are things going to be different? Most of your clothes and things are still there though slowly more and more has been shipped to you. Is Duke going to remember you? Miss you too?

“Promise me the house isn’t too different?”

Calum furrows his brows, head titling just a little to the side. “What do you mean, baby?”

“Like without me, is it all going to be different when I come back?”

“It’s all pretty much the same here. Duke’s the king of the castle. Still have plenty of hoodies for you to steal and your side of the bed still misses you. I still miss you.”

“No, I--I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like I don’t want you to find ways to cope but I don’t know. What if it never feels right? Like so much has been missed that I just won’t ever fit in again?”

Calum shakes his head. “Babe, no. You still belong. Your shoes still have space in the closet. Your mugs still sit in the cabinets. There is so much of you still here--it’s how I get through the days.”

Maybe that’s what’s rough for you. There’s not much of Calum at your place. There’s none of his dirty laundry that’s halfway hanging of laundry baskets and there’s no bass rumbling and there’s snoring next to you at night. It’s all you, which is nice. But you wish you had a little bit of Calum too. 

“There’s none of you here,” you say softly. 

“I can fix that.” It’s a steady confidence, a nod of his head at statement. “Don’t you worry.”

You two steer the conversation to something lighter before you call it a night. And it’s harder to get up the next morning, to peel yourself out of the sheets. But you do it, you push up with a grunt and get your day started. Coffee, a quick bowl of cereal and fruit. You call Calum right before lunch to check in and then get back to work. 

As the days pass, the conversation the ache gets buried in some stress. However, you get a text about a package to get from the lockers at the front of your complex so shuffle down the path thinking it’s the new mattress pad you ordered. It shipped late last week but you hadn’t expected it to arrive this soon. 

As the door swings open to the locker you spy Calum’s handwritten on the label of the package. What the hell had be gone and done? You pick up the box and kick the door close with your foot before taking it back up to your apartment. Setting the box down on the kitchen counter, you find the scissors and cut into it. Right on top is a small envelope with your name scribbled across it. 

You said you didn’t have anything of me. So I knew I had to correct that. I hope they help. And a little thing from the old man, well not from him. But you’ll understand when you get to that. 

Love you. 

Digging into the box, you notice a few guitar pics, a couple extra t-shirt and then a long thin box. You pick it up, noticing it looks like a necklace. But with Calum you never can be sure. As you crack it open, you laugh, finding a gold chain staring up at you, attach to it is a tiny locket that as a paw print on it. You crack it open though and find a tiny picture of Calum and you inside of it and your eyes well with tears. It’s from your last vacation before you left for school, just two of you reclined on the beach and Calum kissing your temple. 

You draft a text to Calum. Tell Duke it feels like home now.